A young British holidaymaker has today been dramatically hospitalised and put on emergency dialysis after he sold his kidney to pay for a week in the ever more expensive party island of Ibiza.
The young man, Adam Blake, a struggling builder from Norwich who lists Calvin Harris and Paris Hilton among his favourite musicians and likes to combine dancing with working out, is believed to have undergone the operation after planning the holiday without realising exactly how expensive Ibiza can be.
“I just really wanted to go to Ibiza, I had been reading all about it in Heat magazine and it sounded amazing with all the D-list celebrities, foam parties and expensive night clubs,” explained a barely conscious Adam from his hospital bed. “I had no way of making enough money to go so I figured I already had one kidney so what’s the point in having two?”
Adam claims that a quick search online allowed him to locate a buyer for the kidney within about five minutes. “I actually got a really good deal selling it to a collector in Stoke-on-Trent. He paid me £2000 up front.”
Using his £2000 Adam boarded the first flight for Ibiza.
“It’s actually more expensive than I thought it would be,” offered Adam who claimed that the only way that anybody can afford Ibiza right now is by selling body parts, your body or drugs.
“It was amazing, I saw Paris Hilton waving from behind some desk with electronic equipment on it and I even saw a bruised Justin Bieber talking to his reflection in a club toilet,” gushed Adam. “Seeing celebs, meeting drug gangs and spending money I don’t have on **** I don’t need - it was the definitive Ibiza experience.”
She'll steal ya man if she meet him and ya man toss chips, went to France & Ibiza, hunnit grand for tha trip, when i land i get greeted wit tha lamb on tha strip, liddo bamb swiped her Visa for tha glam and tha fit
“It was amazing, I saw Paris Hilton waving from behind some desk with electronic equipment on it and I even saw a bruised Justin Bieber talking to his reflection in a club toilet,” gushed Adam.
...I'm going to say it. Someone like this doesn't deserve kidneys. He is lucky he doesn't need both to survive, but I wonder what he is going to sell next for his future endeavors. A portion of his liver?
EDIT: Okay, good. It's fake...but I wouldn't put it past people to actually do something to asinine.
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She'll steal ya man if she meet him and ya man toss chips, went to France & Ibiza, hunnit grand for tha trip, when i land i get greeted wit tha lamb on tha strip, liddo bamb swiped her Visa for tha glam and tha fit
