| |
Discussion: Friends that have gained weight?
Member Since: 2/20/2012
Posts: 2,735
|
Friends that have gained weight?
Have you ever had the awkward experience of having one of your friends (in my case, a SEXY latino stud from high school) rapidly gain a ton of weight (fat, not muscle)?
It is very bizarre and awkward because you don't wanna mention it in-case they are sensitive to it, but then you watch them eat a whole bag of chips in one sitting while watching a movie, and then comment on how "it's all muscle!". 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 10/12/2002
Posts: 21,317
|
If you're really concerned maybe you can ask him if he wants to workout with you? That kinda leaves it open without actually implying he's fat.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 2,290
|
I always told my best friend when she gained some fat. Not because I want to but she literally wants me to tell her 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 2/20/2012
Posts: 2,735
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Lose My Breath
If you're really concerned maybe you can ask him if he wants to workout with you? That kinda leaves it open without actually implying he's fat.
|
He does "work out" but its more of a denial thing, and awful eating habits catching up to him.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 2/5/2014
Posts: 29,111
|
I thought this thread would be about the TV show characters.
No to your question. Only one of my friends has ever gained weight, but he's always gone up and down.
I used to be the big one, but I lost it all and have kept it stable for the past couple years.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 6/30/2012
Posts: 19,226
|
I call them on it. My friends always ask me if they gained weight and I give them the truth, which leds to them eating more.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 4/13/2011
Posts: 5,701
|
I saw pix of my friend back in Cali and she has got huge. I think it's a comfort thing with her. She has a boyfriend who loves her regardless, so I don't think she really care. The weight looks terrible on her tho cause she's only 5 feet.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 19,477
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Lose My Breath
If you're really concerned maybe you can ask him if he wants to workout with you? That kinda leaves it open without actually implying he's fat.
|
This.
Don't fat-shame. That will depress him and he'll comfort eat, which will only make it worse. He'll be aware of it. If you're close with him, suggest that you're going on a health kick and you're going to try getting in shape. New diet, new workout programs, if you don't have gym memberships then exercise in a park with a group of friends, do the beep test with a group of friends, etc. and he'll want to join. He won't like the fact that he's putting on weight but he won't like people commenting on it either.
The only way you can get your friends to lose weight is if you suggest you're doing it yourself and they volunteer to join in, because they think it's their choice.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 9/6/2012
Posts: 46,465
|
I stop being friends with them.
jk, don't have friends.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 2/5/2014
Posts: 29,111
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Rihinvention
This.
Don't fat-shame. That will depress him and he'll comfort eat, which will only make it worse. He'll be aware of it. If you're close with him, suggest that you're going on a health kick and you're going to try getting in shape. New diet, new workout programs, if you don't have gym memberships then exercise in a park with a group of friends, do the beep test with a group of friends, etc. and he'll want to join. He won't like the fact that he's putting on weight but he won't like people commenting on it either.
The only way you can get your friends to lose weight is if you suggest you're doing it yourself and they volunteer to join in, because they think it's their choice.
|
The bolded is the smartest way to do it. Not only will the friend be happy you included him in something, it gives him a chance to work on himself without admitting a weight problem out loud.
I disagree that calling out a person for being overweight is fat-shaming. It depends on the person honestly. Some people are really self-conscious, some people don't realize how big they are, and some people appreciate the bluntness and that somebody took the time to suggest an improvement.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 2/20/2012
Posts: 2,735
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Bloomers
The bolded is the smartest way to do it. Not only will the friend be happy you included him in something, it gives him a chance to work on himself without admitting a weight problem out loud.
I disagree that calling out a person for being overweight is fat-shaming. It depends on the person honestly. Some people are really self-conscious, some people don't realize how big they are, and some people appreciate the bluntness and that somebody took the time to suggest an improvement.
|
I feel like if someone has been fat for a long period of their life is a bit different than a thin person who recently gained weight, no?
I feel like you would need to approach the issue differently.
Because most life-long fat people have tried everything to lose weight and have heard it all before, however this guy has never been fat and has in the past few months because of his bad choices gotten like this. It's two different issues here, you can't really blame someone who has been fat since their childhood, yet you can sort of blame someone who is visibly disregarding their health and has the receipts of that now.
(I hope my tone didn't sound pointed, i'm just in discussion mode now  )
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 5/21/2012
Posts: 13,571
|
I have a friend who within a year gained weight and I point it out everytime I see him.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 2/5/2014
Posts: 29,111
|
Quote:
Originally posted by TheCheshireCat
I feel like if someone has been fat for a long period of their life is a bit different than a thin person who recently gained weight, no?
I feel like you would need to approach the issue differently.
Because most life-long fat people have tried everything to lose weight and have heard it all before, however this guy has never been fat and has in the past few months because of his bad choices gotten like this. It's two different issues here, you can't really blame someone who has been fat since their childhood, yet you can sort of blame someone who is visibly disregarding their health and has the receipts of that now.
(I hope my tone didn't sound pointed, i'm just in discussion mode now ) |
Yeah it is different. You are correct, I should've added the word necessarily to my post about fat shaming. Don't worry about your tone, we're cool, I didn't read any pointedness.
I agree, different backgrounds do require different approaches. I don't really think that you'd be out of line letting your friend know he looks heavier, if you do it tactfully and if he's not the type of person that would take it the wrong way. Sometimes, people don't realize they let themselves go so quickly.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 11/10/2011
Posts: 14,820
|
One of my friends has much on a bit of weight, but he's not overweight so it's not worth mentioning as it's not a health risk. Just he used to be very slim and athletic so it's kinda noticeable.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 3/8/2014
Posts: 6,940
|
Not a friend but my cousin. He was super hot but ever since he became a dad... Idk, he weighs a ton now  I was pretty shocked when I saw him first because I haven't seen him in a long time.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 2/20/2012
Posts: 2,735
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Bloomers
Yeah it is different. You are correct, I should've added the word necessarily to my post about fat shaming. Don't worry about your tone, we're cool, I didn't read any pointedness.
I agree, different backgrounds do require different approaches. I don't really think that you'd be out of line letting your friend know he looks heavier, if you do it tactfully and if he's not the type of person that would take it the wrong way. Sometimes, people don't realize they let themselves go so quickly.
|
Exactly!
He made a status about going to the gym more now, so i'm sure some of his bros are hounding him about it.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 5/20/2012
Posts: 5,523
|
I have two female friends that have fluctuating weight, but the problem is I never notice that - I'm always genuinely shocked when they say they gained 10-15kgs. They fatten gracefully (it all goes into their asses I guess), while for me 2kg more mean a huge difference in looks (my arms fatten and it's just gross).
I never call people out, but I complain a lot about my weight (i.e. I'm working out 3-4h a day and I just get fatter) so naturally someone bigger might take it as a suggestion.
|
|
|
|
|
|
