Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 10,242
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Guy goes to JAIL for speeding
Quote:
You never really get a good night's sleep in jail. In the middle of my second night inside, I woke up on the uncomfortable plastic mat in my cell, my neck and back aching. I looked down at my orange jail scrubs and up at the buzzing fluorescent light and thought, "I am here because I drove too fast in a Camaro ZL1."
At that moment, the whole thing seemed pretty funny. As funny as it could have been considering I was in jail for three days, at least.
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I knew I would be in trouble a month earlier, when I blasted the ZL1 down a rural straightaway in Virginia and then saw the state trooper's blue-and-silver Ford Taurus peeking out from the side of the road. I slowed down when I saw him, but his lights came on right away.
The trooper pulled me over and said he had me on radar doing 93 mph in a 55 mph zone. I figured it would be a nasty ticket. It wasn't, because I got nailed in Virginia, a state where the police and the courts take speeding more seriously than possibly anywhere else in America. A fun day in a very powerful car just got a lot less fun.
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On Friday, July 25, my wife dropped me off at the Rappahannock Shenandoah Warren Regional Jail in Front Royal. I was escorted inside by a guard, handcuffed, booked, and had my mugshot taken. I was given a set of orange and white striped jail scrubs and a plastic mat and ushered into a big room with two stories of cells on either side. This would be home for the weekend.
I'm not trying to sound like a hardass or anything, but I wasn't scared. I just wanted to get the three days I had been sentenced to over with.
To answer your inevitable questions right away, I didn't get raped (that happens in prison more than jail) I didn't get my ass kicked (that does happen in jail but it didn't happen to me) and I wasn't forced to participate in "inmate fight club" for the sick pleasure of the guards.
None of those fantastical things needed to happen. My jail experience sucked just fine on its own. You might think you can just wait it out, like you're stuck at an airport, but it's not like that at all.
There's nothing nice about being confined somewhere, cut off from the outside world, and totally at the mercy of some bureaucracy who may or may not lose your discharge papers on a whim.
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