Discussion: Does your boyfriends sexual past bother you? - Page 2

TOASTY

Quote:

Originally posted by clbylara

My boyfriend is 7 years older than me and we have been together a year and five months and were engaged. I know that everyone has a sexual past but my boyfriends past is just radiculous. So radiculous that I would rather not go into depth about it. The problem I have is that we've talked about it and he knows that it bothers me and for that reason he doesn't bring it up because he know that I will upset me. But the thing is I feel it sinking back into my self consciousness and I don't want it to because all it did was cause problems. I even got him to apologize about his past which is what I thought I wanted for the longest time. But I want more than just "I'm sorry for my past.". Sometime I just want to ask him "Why we're you so gross?" But I know that would really hurt him. I hear the way he talks about his friends in college and about how they would **** anything that came there way and it's kind of like he's mocking their current relationship or mocking the current one that his friend is dating to be more exact but the thing is I feel as if I'm In the same boat as that other person and I don't like it. I don't want people to talk about me and my boyfriend like that. I can just imagine people saying"Ryan might be all sprung over Colby(me) but you should have seen him in college." . Sometimes I don't think it's fair that I waited for him but he didn't wait for me. I wanted nothing more than to be in a monogamous relationship which is why I didn't sleep around. Because sleeping around didn't fulfill me in anyway.

...you didn't know him and he didn't know you. It can get lonely out there and if he's 7 years OLDER than you he probably spent a lot of time "alone." The fact that he is grounded with you and not sleeping around like he may (or MAY NOT) have done in the past shows that what is behind him is behind him. Would it personally bother me? I honestly can't say that it wouldn't, but I would have to make that ultimatum before going any further with him (is this something I can truly look past and move on with? ESPECIALLY if he's ur fiance).

accelgors

~~i feel like making this thread was just an excuse to get advice for your problem~~

"Sometime I just want to ask him "Why we're you so gross?""
well that would be kind of mean...

i don't think there's anything wrong with having a lot of sex when you're young and then settling down with one person. a lot of people do it, it doesn't really mean much except that they were kinda reckless when they were young, which a lot of people are. it has nothing to do with you, really

Cyanide

Quote:

Originally posted by Topherfy

As long as he is clean and faithful to you, it shouldn't matter.

!

42Osuxx

As time passes people mature more and more and as long as you can trust him that its all just in his past, you shod not let it affect your point of view on him. If you have been together over a year you clearly saw something in him to make you love him.
I would suggest you be honest with him and let him know how you feel,but bringing it up in a way that he will not get offended. That is the only way he himself can assure you that its all stayed in the past and that time of his life will not happen again.
Everybody in this world will have things in their past they are not proud of but it does not define the person they are today. Hope I helped in some kind of way

P!nkism

Tbh, i cringed @ the part "i made him apologize for his past"

What he did in the past doesn't matter and quite honestly doesn't really concern you.
I am sure we've all have made some bad choices and are trying to be better and you reminding him about it and making him feel guilty is not gonna help him or yourself.

Don't let your insecurities ruin your love life.
Just enjoy it

THEBEASTWITHIN

Quote:

Originally posted by MotherSuperior

Madonna stans on the ball

Seriously tho @OP , I read you saying he's settled down for you so, are you sure you love him enough ? Or that you really love him at all?
Cause if so , you just need to remember that the past is gone.
There are so many people with a troubled past , that have grown to become great people now (even better than those who have always had a ermmm 'decent' life) .

psychodj

You don't have to come into the thread and be rude and personally attack the OP. A few of y'all need to learn how to communicate better and stop being so disrespectful.

----

I completely understand where you're coning from. I was like that with my boyfriend. His past bothered me, and then he would always talk about it. And at the time we were talking and trying to work on our relationship and start it off right, he went and had sex with his ex and told her he loved her. It bothered me for awhile, because I felt like he would easily just move on from him and go to somebody knew simply because of his history, but as time went on, he showed that he was faithful and caring and that's all that matters. As long as your boyfriend is completely honest, faithful, and loyal to you, then his past should be led behind. Don't let it ruin you're future. If you're still bothered by it, you should go talk to him and tell him how you feel and clear the air.

Rei

I'm not in a relationship but I'm sure it would bother me.

beyawnse

Well, my past has seen more places than a citytour bus and I've had more dates than The Mrs. Carter tour. If anything, you made a sexually driven man sit down. You're special.

Kyle.

if i did have a boyfriend, i wouldnt care what he did before me as long as it doesn't mean i'm getting an std

QueenBLadyG

I couldn't be with someone with a promiscuous past personally. I judge people on their sexual escapades.

Reader

Quote:

Originally posted by beyawnse

Well, my past has seen more places than a citytour bus and I've had more dates than The Mrs. Carter tour. If anything, you made a sexually driven man sit down. You're special.

Yas.

Shigo

Honestly you need to get over yourself. Making him apologize to you for his past relationships? **** are you kidding me i think you need to get back down to earth honey. You sound ridiculously entitled. nn

bobbleheadroger

My boyfriend is 9 years older than I am, he is known as "velvet mouth" from when he was 18, he was literally the biggest ***** in the neighborhood and I still love him as hell.

I don't really give a crap about his past, it doesn't concern me because he was always very open about it, as was I. He's clean, he's faithful (from what I know) and he loves me the way I am.

We've been together for almost 5 years, 24th July

Ferrer

I don't have a boyfriend, but it wouldn't. The past is in the past. Let it gooooooooooooo!!

supaspaz

This belongs in blogs.