Quote:
Originally posted by Black Pearl
That's not true, most of the gays I've met or spoken to that fem-shame are masc ones who're disgusted by feminine gays for "acting like girls" and "perpetuating a stereotype" that they think they're above. Not to say there aren't self-loathing ones like you described, of course..
Also, this is the bottom line:
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Feminine mannerisms in men are looked down upon by society in general, though.
While I think Roman Holiday could of used better terms, what he says is true in many ways.
So many in the gay community are quite vocal about disliking "flamers" or flamboyant gays with feminine
tendencies, when more than half of them are considered feminine by others and don't even know it.
For example, a member here (no no no...noshade) that I've met in person is very vocal in his posts about
being masculine and his disdain for feminine gays. And when we finally meet to hang out, he serves a Chris Colfer in glee tea. The nerve.
I live in a city that ranks #2 for it's gay population in proportion to residents, so I see these patterns all the
time, same goes with bottom shaming. It all comes from the same source: society's conclusion of gay as
emasculating and how we feel that
because we are gay, we are second class men deep down on the
inside. The truth is, we are not. We just need better examples of gay and successful to help us create positive models of what life as a gay man can be like and how we can still positively impact society, in spite of social stigmas of the past that we still bear.
This is why it's so important for people like Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, to come out. Thankfully we have folks like Anderson Cooper, Matt Bomer, Neil Patrick Harris, Sir Ian McKellen, Don Lemon, Tom Ford and even young Chris Colfer to be on the forefront and help mend these stereotypes and help us castaway the beliefs that we are any less than "masculine" or heterosexual men in any way.
