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My gaydar sucks

1. I never really "came out", I just told who I needed to when I was like 16 (my friends) and word sorta spread on a need-to-know basis and most people jsut assumed I was and it was never officially acknowledged. I suppose telling your parents is the official moment, and my mum asked me when I was 19 and I told her and then she told my dad who rang me on the verge of tears (it sounded like it) and he sounded so guilty and upset that I hadn't been able to tell him. I don't know why I ever doubted him.

2. Worst thing that ever happened to me for being gay was when I had really just started to tell my friends and these bitchy gays that didn't like me from another school had this gossip page on Bebo (it was the most popular social network in NZ back then) and they wrote my full name and my parents names on this page saying how I was ugly and pathetic and closeted and hiding my "gay secret from my parents", and it gave me such a bad anxiety attack cause it was one of the first things you saw when you googled my/their names. Luckily they took it down after a few days.

3. I have trouble finding relationships, but I don't think it's because I'm gay.

4. I could and have given a few kisses in public, and there have been places where I've felt comfortable holding a guy's hand... but generally no. I don't like the looks and the judgement, not secure enough for that.

1. Came out at 17. No one cared.
2. Nothing's really happened.
3. Yes but only because I live in the middle of nowhere.
4. No but only because I don't like PDA at all.

1. Nothing.
2. Don't care.

Well gay and straight PDA are both okay but not to the point where yall are being all over each other torridly making out and touching every body part on public. I mean it's cute when done in a decent way like holding hands, a quick kiss, hug etc.

1. When did you come out? Was it hard? Who accepted/rejected you?

I was 14 I think. It was difficult but I didn't get rejected by anyone.

2. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you for being gay?

Honestly, I've experienced pretty much no negative backlash. Apart from maybe once or twice being shouted at from across the street... That's like it.

3. Do you have trouble finding a relationship because you're gay?

No.

4. Would you ever be brave enough to hold hands/kiss your partner in public?

Yes. I have done in the past.

Same. I'm one of those 'tell only if you ask' gays. No one really asks though so I never tell.

What I'm asking is if you would be comfortable simply holding hands with a guy.

I'm scared of the V cave


The rest is ok for me

New question added

Sorry, to answer your question, yes, I mean its just holding hands.

Your avi scares me a bit just saying lol

what u say?

wait but I also saw a question about PDA, was that from another thread or you edited this? lol i got confused

omg

1. When did you come out? Was it hard? Who accepted/rejected you?

I only came out to one person (which I regret so ****ing much) late December 2013. This person was my closest friend and I thought I could trust them We actually became so much closer after that and he was very accepting and all that. Anyway, long story short a couple of weeks ago he told me he had screenshots of our convo where I came out and showed them to someone else. His justification for doing so was because the person was "his best friend" and he "just had to tell him" And just a couple of days ago I found out he told someone else. God knows how many people he has told.

2. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you for being gay?

See above.

3. Do you have trouble finding a relationship because you're gay?

No one knows I'm gay for the most part but being ugly and extremely awkward make it even harder

4. Would you ever be brave enough to hold hands/kiss your partner in public?

NO

1. When did you come out? Was it hard? Who accepted/rejected you?
Havent really came out, it's not necessary for me even though my familly practically knows, and all my friends are gays and lesbians and when i say all i really mean it.

2. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you for being gay?
Probably people trying to "out you" when i was a kid, it as so hurtful. It left me thinking for days.

3. Would you ever be brave enough to hold hands/kiss your partner in public?
I've already done it, but i live in Mexico. No one really cares here, like in some other countries. People here just stare at the most or make a dumb joke.

4. What advice would you give to someone who has not yet come out yet?
Don't come out if you dont feel like it, do it only if youre keeping from doing things, i havent come out yet but i date guys, go to gay bars, i dont hold myself from nothing for not being out.

5. Do you have trouble finding a relationship because you're gay
Not because i'm "gay", but because i have still to find someone i really like back. I have but they just wanted to "have fun", guess its all karma, since i'm regularly the one "having fun".

1. I first came out, when I was at the hospital for depression and I felt so accepted and so happy, because I could be myself there and everyone accepted me there. I told my Mom, at first she was like why and then she thinks it wrong and then its okay, she thinks I chose to be this way.

2. Well, lets just say, its been happening, I never hung around boys this year cause most of them were cute and all my friends were girls, some boys knew I was gay and they were cool about it. After being hospitalized, my ex-friend who I liked asked if I was gay jokingly, I didn't know he was joking and I said yes, and he was like "wait, you really are?" So he ran out of the classroom during passing period and told the other guy I liked and I thought he was going to tell the whole damn school, so I had an anxiety attack. Since I told minimum of popular kids at my school, the rumor has been going around calmly, but I don't know if they're cool about it.

3. Yes, I live in Texas, where we Gays get bullied, tortured or even murdered, so there's barely anybody here that's gay and I just don't know how I'm gonna live this lonely life, nobody in school is gay, there's barely any gays that even come by. If I do good in school, then maybe after college I'm moving to California for a happier life.

4. Hold hands, yes, usually the younger people here are cool with Gay people, but the adults though are judgemental or speechless about it. Kissing... It might take some time.

1. When did you come out? Was it hard? Who accepted/rejected you?

When I was 18 to my friends. We were in a gay club in Sydney called 'Stonewall' because it's really easy to get ***** in gay clubs and one of our friends was gay. Anyway this massive bodybuilder-type guy was following me around and we kept making eye contact. I was really drunk and he started talking to my friends and asking if I was gay and they said no. Anyway I kept trying to break him up from my friends, and when I thought I'd lost them, he and I started making out, like fully going at it, and they were all watching I was so drunk. Then everyone started talking and eventually everyone started finding out.

I was 19 when I told my brother. I cried, lots. I was staying at his house for the night and I'd told his wife like a month before and she said "I think we need to organise a night for you to tell Toddy." I was 20 when I told both my sisters and my parents. I cried. Lots. By this stage it was really obvious to them and they were expecting it. But I went out on a Friday night and had the biggest bender of my life. I didn't come home until late on the Saturday night and when my mum picked me up from the station she was furious like "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! WHAT WERE YOU DOING!?" and I didn't know what to say or do so I just ended up bursting into tears and told her I was gay. Then we went and bought some wine and I came home and told Dad. Again, it was really obvious by this stage (because I'd just moved back home after living in Sydney's gay district for a year with two big muscley guys in their late 20s who my parents had never met, and I worked at the gayest gym in the city while I lived there) but even though it was obvious, I still didn't want to come out to them for some reason.

It was hard but so worth it. Everyone always talks about it's a weight off your shoulders and it's so true. You feel completely liberated and free. No one rejected me.

2. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you for being gay?

Probably just the high school bullying. I didn't have many male friends and I didn't play sports. I wasn't into the gym like I am now so I had really skinny arms and was kind of chubby around my torso and legs. I remember one day walking into one of the computer rooms for Economics and everyone had programmed their Macs to do that robotic-computer voice thing that you can do with Macs before you press login. Anyway, we had a substitute teacher, this old man who couldn't really control the class and English wasn't his first language. He had an accent. Basically as soon as I walked into the class, all the guys in my class had programmed their computers to say "Josh. Stevenson. Is. A. Poofta. And. Is. Going. To. Die. Of. AIDS." as soon as I walked into the classroom. It was like 20 computers and they all pressed 'Enter' at the same time so it was really loud. I went bright red and my eyes filled up with tears. I had to just walk to my seat, try not to cry and sit perfectly still so they wouldn't see it affected me.

3. Do you have trouble finding a relationship because you're gay?

No. I live in Sydney. There's a population of 4.6 million people here and we're one of the gay capitals of the world. There are so many gay clubs here. There's literally a whole street called Oxford Street (it's really famous) that's just all gay clubs. And it's a really long street too.

4. Would you ever be brave enough to hold hands/kiss your partner in public?

No. It has nothing to do with bravery though. I hate public displays of affection. I went to see The Hunger Games with my ex in Bondi once (which is a really gay/gay-friendly area) and he tried to put his hand on my knee while we were watching the movie. I felt uncomfortable, and not because we were gay, because like I said, it's a really gay friendly area. I just felt uncomfortable because I hate HATE HATE public displays of affection. Gay or straight.

However I've full-on made out with guys/grinded on them on dance-floors though, and complete strangers have tapped me on the shoulder and shouted "OI, GET A ****ING ROOM." But I've been mad drunk so that doesn't count.

5. What advice would you give to someone who has not yet come out yet?

Only do it in your own time and when you're ready. Also, if there's ANY doubt in your mind about whether or not your parents will accept you, then wait until you're out on your own and can afford to support yourself independently. Most people have an idea about their parents' stance on gays. My parents were ok with it, but didn't support gay marriage at the time. They were coming around on that though, because the whole world is, and I think my siblings were working on changing their minds because they could tell I was gay. My point is, even though they didn't agree with gay marriage at the time, I knew that there was no way I would be disowned or kicked out of home. They would never do that. Ever. You need to be 100% sure that your parents won't do this too. You can't afford to be on the streets or homeless when you're young. It will ruin your life.

1. When did you come out? Was it hard? Who accepted/rejected you?
When I was 16. A little but but not really. I lost a (female) friend who had a crush on me, everyone else accepted me.
2. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you for being gay?
Honestly, not much bad has happened because of it. I feel very lucky.
3. Would you ever be brave enough to hold hands/kiss your partner in public?
I do it all the time when I have a partner.
4. What advice would you give to someone who has not yet come out yet?
I would encourage them to just do it! Unless of course it would put their life at home in limbo.