So i just realised one of my best friends is homophobic. We never really spoke about the gay topic (i'm in the closet) but today when we went out for lunch the topic was bought up and she asked me what i would do if one of my family members was gay and i just laughed and said i don't know that would be funny and she responded "i would disown them, ew that is sick". It sucks because she is a good friend and we talk everyday and have so much fun but i guess she is religious so can't accept gay people. How would you react if one of your bfs was homophobic?

If she doesn't know you're gay, and you told her you were, that shouldn't change her prospective of you because she hasn't known all these years.

You would only know if you came out to her and got her response, that would test how good of a friend she is.

Anyway, yes, I would not be as good friends as before.

id try working things out

Uhm, if my best friend were homophobic then she wouldn't be my best friend

I know you said you're closeted but how can you call her your best friend if you didn't even know her views on something so important? You should cut her off, being fun to hang out with (aside from the slight problem that it sounds like she'd "disown" you if she knew you were gay ) doesn't make up for being homophobic, and being religious isn't an excuse for being so ignorant. She can't be your best friend if she doesn't accept you, love yourself sis!

Not sure. As soon as I came out the closet to my old best friends they soon fled.

So I knew who real friends were over the fake.

I'd end things right then and there tbh, be like: "Well, I just disowned you homophobic bitch"



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No but in all serious, if you really care about this person, I'd try seeing if you could somehow change their opinion on homosexuality/come out to them and help them see that there is nothing wrong with it. Maybe give them some space to think about it after you tell them, but if all else fails and they remain stuck in their ways I'd suggest you find a new best friend unfortunately.

Yeah this is what would happen to me if i came out, i have a couple of really close friends but some of them i wouldnt even think of telling im gay because they are typical straight guys and others like this girl i thought were not homophobic but now im realising even she is sucks

I'd stop being friends with them. I don't know how long you plan to stay closeted but eventually things might become a lot for you to deal with your own. If you can't confide in your closest friend without fear of judgement or abandonment, what's the point?

Come out to them to see how they react, although they'll most likely not stop being bigots so I'd say the relationship is pretty much doomed.

Drop them as friends.

Honestly I wouldn't continue being friends with them. I wouldn't try to change their views because I believe only an individual can change their own views on things and if they're choosing to be homophobic then fine but I don't need to be near them.

That's not always true and isn't really an excuse.

I know what you're going through. I say just, when you're ready to come out to your friend, just wait if you can handle it. Just prepare yourself for the worst reaction.

Well, for starters, they wouldn't be my best friend anymore. Keep up that bull**** and you'd be lucky if we're even Facebook friends anymore.

Honestly sweetie, you should dump her ass, and I only say this because you deserve better. At the very least, if she was a reasonable person, and you came out to her, she should change her mindset because at this point gay people may only be an abstract idea to her so it's easy to say she hates them and would disown them, but if someone she knows and cares about comes out as gay, she should realize gay people are human beings as well and that she is wrong for discriminating against them.

But if someone she knows and cares about comes out as gay and she still hates them, then obviously she doesn't care about you. So what's the point? Are you really going to trap yourself in the closet for someone who, at the end of the day, doesn't even care about you as a human being? What's the point of that?

You slowly drop them from your life.

I'd honestly make the effort to change their minds and views on it tbh. But that is just me.
But don't linger on it if you see things just aren't gonna work out, it will turn out bad for you.

And religion is not an excuse.

I'm bestfriend is and I haven't told him my sexuality.. I love him (as a friend <_<)

I live in a super conservative town, so almost everyone is homophobic. My (former) best friend was even more conservative than the conservatives. I overheard his dad several times talk about doing very bad things to the president and all they ever had on TV was Fox News. He never made super homophobic comments but whenever I brought up the subject he always didn't want to and said something along the lines of "don't go there, thats wrong". But it never got between us so it turned out OK. He used to give me gay vibes too since he used to like to sleep in the same bed as me and kissed me on the cheek one time.

Your friend sounds a damn mess, I would have a go at her or drop her immediately. I understand if she just said she didn't agree with gay people and left it at that (a lot of people don't agree rather tolerate), but to have as little respect for other humans to say that she would 'disown them' is seriously low of her. She must be uneducated or just a mean person in general, it's not really about 'not agreeing' when people say stuff like that - it says a LOT about who she is as a human being. In fact I wouldn't drop her for being homophobic, I would drop her for being coldhearted.