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Discussion: Do certain women "collect" gay men?
Member Since: 6/12/2010
Posts: 515
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Do certain women "collect" gay men?
There are a subset of women that have a lot of gay best friends along with their girl friends, rather than straight male friends. Why do y'all think this is? Is there a danger in this type of relationship, or is it often a fulfilling relationship for the gay man?
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 16,407
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Yes certain girls do
I sometimes hear the " I wish/want a gay best friend"
Like bitch we are not handbags
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 4,333
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Yes, I know plenty of girls that do, and there's no benefits for the gay guy. It's not good for your self esteem to know a close friend only cares about you because of your sexuality. I always avoid people like that 
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Member Since: 5/29/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Yeah of course. It frustrates me.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 16,407
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But I guess it's fulfilling sometimes cause its not like we gays hang around together all the time like other socially contrasted groups would - e.g nerds hanging together , jocks hanging together .
So I guess we sometimes seek that refuge in women ? But I just hate if girls do what I mentioned above
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Member Since: 9/1/2013
Posts: 20,022
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Yes, I have seen certain girls do that. 
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 21,558
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The minute I get the feeling someone only hangs out with me cause they think it's interesting to be around gay people I'm out.
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Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 19,477
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When I'm clubbing and tell girls I'm gay, they scream and say they want me to be their "gay best friend" like an I'm accessory. But if they're hot and have good style, an amazing body, great hair and a beautiful face, I don't mind it. I actually kind of love it. 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 3,688
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Quote:
Originally posted by BudBud
Yes certain girls do
I sometimes hear the " I wish/want a gay best friend"
Like bitch we are not handbags
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OMG I HEAR THIS ALL THE TIME 
And I know they're alluding to me, waiting for me to come out to be their hot new accessory.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 4,564
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If some girl asked me if I wanted to be ha GBF I'd smack her in the face. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm into girly things like manicures or shopping for hours
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Member Since: 6/12/2010
Posts: 515
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I think it is also interesting that many gay men don't have straight male best friends, at least in my college environment. Yes, gay men may blend together in groups of straight men, but I don't think there is genuine communication. Everything is surface level, so the friendship level is lower.
I see most gay men, including myself, having the most intimate and wholesome relationships with straight women.
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 21,558
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nebula
I think it is also interesting that many gay men don't have straight male best friends, at least in my college environment. Yes, gay men may blend together in groups of straight men, but I think there is not really genuine communication.
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This is bull, at least from my experience, there are 3 gays in my class (including me) and there is only 1 guy who's best friends with a girl only, but that's his only friend in general cause he's really closed.
My best friends in school are straight guys, and yes, the convo's go just as deep as with girls, I dislike most girls in general cause they tend to be loud and obnoxious and just wanna gossip and bring other people down.
Guys are so much easier and more relaxing to hang out with.
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Member Since: 6/12/2010
Posts: 515
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cain
This is bull, at least from my experience, there are 3 gays in my class (including me) and there is only 1 guy who's best friends with a girl only, but that's his only friend in general cause he's really closed.
My best friends in school are straight guys, and yes, the convo's go just as deep as with girls, I dislike most girls in general cause they tend to be loud and obnoxious and just wanna gossip and bring other people down.
Guys are so much easier and more relaxing to hang out with.
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Are you out? maybe there is a correlation with closet vs out.
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 21,558
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nebula
Are you out? maybe there is a correlation with closet vs out.
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I am, and interestingly enough when I was closeted I didn't hang out with straight guys.
Ever since I'm out and just honest about who I am and not trying to put on a persona I'm relaxed around straight guys and they don't mind at all.
I think when you're closeted you're so busy with the opinions of others that you can't truly be yourself, honesty attracts people I guess.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 16,407
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nebula
I think it is also interesting that many gay men don't have straight male best friends, at least in my college environment. Yes, gay men may blend together in groups of straight men, but I don't think there is genuine communication. Everything is surface level, so the friendship level is lower.
I see most gay men, including myself, having the most intimate and wholesome relationships with straight women. Interesting...
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I think I'm one of the few "lucky" ones cause I have a few best friends and 3 of them happen to be straight guys ( the gym/jock type) > true the connection level is different from what I would have with a girl ( can't talk about guys or pop girls) but I'm very close with them
^^ but then again it was luck that brought us together , like I can make female friends like that , straight guy friends take a while longer
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Member Since: 11/15/2011
Posts: 13,901
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i think it's because women secretly hate each other and find comfort in gay men because gay men have a balance between men (they love) and women (they hate) and just don't realize it consciously but this comfort in gay men just lies in their subconscious
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Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 19,477
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cain
I am, and interestingly enough when I was closeted I didn't hang out with straight guys.
Ever since I'm out and just honest about who I am and not trying to put on a persona I'm relaxed around straight guys and they don't mind at all.
I think when you're closeted you're so busy with the opinions of others that you can't truly be yourself, honesty attracts people I guess.
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It could also be a location thing. I've heard a lot of European countries like The Netherlands, Sweden, Switzerland and Denmark are really accepting and liberal. In Australia, straight guys were really homophobic to anyone who didn't play rugby when we were in high school. But ever since leaving school and going out, they love gay guys. Anyone who seemed homophobic when I was in high school now does heaps of drugs, at clubs and festivals. I always see them at gay clubs in Sydney, with their shirts off, all together with a bunch of girls and every single one of them is completely off their head/high as a kite.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 16,407
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Quote:
Originally posted by cheers09
i think it's because women secretly hate each other and find comfort in gay men because gay men have a balance between men (they love) and women (they hate) and just don't realize it consciously but this comfort in gay men just lies in their subconscious
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So I guess it's a win win , cause I know some guys that just hate each other Too
Society is so messy
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Member Since: 6/12/2010
Posts: 515
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cain
I am, and interestingly enough when I was closeted I didn't hang out with straight guys.
Ever since I'm out and just honest about who I am and not trying to put on a persona I'm relaxed around straight guys and they don't mind at all.
I think when you're closeted you're so busy with the opinions of others that you can't truly be yourself, honesty attracts people I guess.
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Do you share some of the same interests with your straight friends? Straight guys talk about girls as a component of their relationships, I'd say. So I wonder how you work with that...
Personally, I just can't seem to get most small talk going with straight guys. They don't latch onto my humor as quickly and I just don't connect on a deeper level. I guess I just can't seem to have interesting daily conversation with straight men. I can have a deep conversation usually, but that has to be in the right environment.
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 21,558
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nebula
Do you share some of the same interests with your straight friends? Straight guys talk about girls as a component of their relationships, I'd say. So I wonder how you work with that...
Personally, I just can't seem to get most small talk going with straight guys. They don't latch onto my humor as quickly and I just don't connect on a deeper level. I guess I just can't seem to have interesting daily conversation with straight men. I can have a deep conversation usually, but that has to be in the right environment.
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Not really, they like Coldplay, I like Daft Punk and Rihanna, they play video games, I watch anime. 
I guess we all do have the same humor though, that's a big factor, and whenever they talk about girls they involve me to talk about guys.
There's also no tention about my sexuality, like they'll joke around about guys in the same way they would've done if I liked girls.
Just give everyone a chance I'd say, and don't force any friendships cause if it doesn't go naturally it isn't meant to be.
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