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Discussion: Birth Parents Seeking Adopted Kids
Member Since: 5/22/2011
Posts: 21,227
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Birth Parents Seeking Adopted Kids
So browsing through my Facebook I came upon a post of a birth father who wasn't aware he made a girl pregnant. The girl chose to have the baby and put it up for adoption and now the birth father is looking for the kid to take him home.
What are your opinions on things like this? I've heard stories of people who put their kids up for adoption, later wanted them back and the kids never saw their adopted parents again. My mom has told me stories how several court cases she's seen involved biological parents fighting to get their child back after they put them up for adoption.
I personally think once a kid is put up for adoption that the adoption parents have a right to privacy and shouldn't have to give up the kid. My step-dad was put up for adoption when his mom was only 16 years old. He later found her and she tried to make him move in with her and leave his adoption parents behind. (He had a brain mind you and refused the request).
So, discuss.
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Banned
Member Since: 10/1/2011
Posts: 15,669
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I don't know about the second situation but...
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So browsing through my Facebook I came upon a post of a birth father who wasn't aware he made a girl pregnant. The girl chose to have the baby and put it up for adoption and now the birth father is looking for the kid to take him home.
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This is pretty ****ed up.
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Member Since: 6/15/2012
Posts: 33,138
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Well, it depends. If the child hasn't been adopted yet and is in foster care, I wouldn't really have anything against his father adopting him UNLESS he can't provide for him properly, in which case I wouldn't want him to adopt the child.
And it also depends on age. Cuz if you adopt your own child when he's like 5 or 6 or even in his teens, there's gonna be some serious hatred on his part against his parents. I know I'd be pissed if I were put up for adoption and my parents come back years later as if nothing happened. Like, BITCH, who the hell do you think you are? 
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Member Since: 5/22/2011
Posts: 21,227
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chrome
I don't know about the second situation but...
This is pretty ****ed up.
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Basically it was a Spring Break / Vacation in the Caribbean hook-up. They both lived on different ends of the country and they didn't talk until after she gave the kid up.
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 5,208
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It's hard. People make bad decisions and regret them and as long as the biological parents aren't harming the kids then they should have every right to get their children back. The very reason most people put their children up for adoption is because they can't provide a healthy and loving life for them, if they sometime after the adoption can provide that then why not? Call me cruel or whatever but I don't feel like the adopted parents should feel entitled to the children in the first couple of weeks/months.
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Member Since: 9/13/2012
Posts: 29,559
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No way in hell should biological parents be able to take back kids after they've already been adopted (assuming they're in a happy, healthy home now). Being a parent means caring for and raising a child, not just creating it. Once you give those duties to someone else, who will probably grow to love the child, THEY are the parent(s) now.
As for this man's situation, seems a
bit unfair, sure, but here's an idea: if you don't want secret biological children out there, don't have unprotected sex with a girl you'll never see again.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 6,474
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ozzy8923
Well, it depends. If the child hasn't been adopted yet and is in foster care, I wouldn't really have anything against his father adopting him UNLESS he can't provide for him properly, in which case I wouldn't want him to adopt the child.
And it also depends on age. Cuz if you adopt your own child when he's like 5 or 6 or even in his teens, there's gonna be some serious hatred on his part against his parents. I know I'd be pissed if I were put up for adoption and my parents come back years later as if nothing happened. Like, BITCH, who the hell do you think you are? |
All of this pretty much
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Member Since: 5/4/2012
Posts: 12,811
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Men dont have feelings toward kids, since they didnt physically make them #atrllogic
But on the real, its kinda messed up. Should they to know each other? definitely.
Move in with him? Ehhh, dont think so, that can cause problems.
Situation on a whole sucks though.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 1,722
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vespertine
No way in hell should biological parents be able to take back kids after they've already been adopted (assuming they're in a happy, healthy home now). Being a parent means caring for and raising a child, not just creating it. Once you give those duties to someone else, who will probably grow to love the child, THEY are the parent(s) now.
As for this man's situation, seems a
bit unfair, sure, but here's an idea: if you don't want secret biological children out there, don't have unprotected sex with a girl you'll never see again.
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While agree with most of what you said, how do you know he had unprotected sex? condoms can break.
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Member Since: 3/8/2012
Posts: 39,015
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If the child is already adopted by his adopted parents the biological parents should not be able to get them back. Especially if the kid doen't want to go back.
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Member Since: 3/8/2012
Posts: 39,015
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Quote:
Originally posted by Big Smoke
Men dont have feelings toward kids, since they didnt physically make them #atrllogic
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Wait are you saying you believe this or.... 
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 2,134
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Quote:
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What are your opinions on things like this? I've heard stories of people who put their kids up for adoption, later wanted them back and the kids never saw their adopted parents again. My mom has told me stories how several court cases she's seen involved biological parents fighting to get their child back after they put them up for adoption.
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Idk where are you from but law system should never allow for such situations. In my country once people lose or give up parental rights they cannot get "their" child back. After adoption the metric is "cleared" - adoptive parents are listed as biological and the court cannot give any information about the adopted child or the biological parents.
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Member Since: 5/22/2011
Posts: 21,227
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Quote:
Originally posted by TasteOfYourLips
Idk where are you from but law system should never allow for such situations. In my country once people lose or give up parental rights they cannot get "their" child back. After adoption the metric is "cleared" - adoptive parents are listed as biological and the court cannot give any information about the adopted child or the biological parents.
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I'm from Canada and my mom works for one of the most respected Law Firms in town. She said even though by "rights" the adopted parents and kids are safe from having to deal with the biological parents but there are loops holes in every contract signed. It's frustrating the cases she deals with, almost all the time the parents seeking the kids are just laughed at and waste their money, but she said there's been some close calls. All law systems are flawed because there's always way to exploit documents. 
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 2,134
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sugar Rush
I'm from Canada and my mom works for one of the most respected Law Firms in town. She said even though by "rights" the adopted parents and kids are safe from having to deal with the biological parents but there are loops holes in every contract signed. It's frustrating the cases she deals with, almost all the time the parents seeking the kids are just laughed at and waste their money, but she said there's been some close calls. All law systems are flawed because there's always way to exploit documents. |
Good that they eventually don't get their kids back.
As you are saying there are totally different procedures in Canada. Here in Poland it's extremely tough even for an adopted child to find their biological parents. Courts cannot tell any information about them. My auntie recently adopted a 2 yrs old girl. It took them 6 months to finish adoptive procedure (and they waited three yrs to become an adoptive family with a right to adopt, would take them even more if they would like to adopt a newborn) and afterwards the girl is like a totally new person with a different identification number. There's really no way to find a loophole here.
But at the end of the day, Canada still has a better law system than Poland. My other aunt lives there, it's a great country, hun.
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 6,565
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I've never met my biological father, but if he tried to find me I'd probably meet him once and never see him again. I didn't need him then, I don't need him now, and I won't ever need him.
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Member Since: 6/15/2011
Posts: 5,842
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It's ****ed up to rip a child from a happy, stable home simply because you have regrets about giving them up or you only found out about their existence when it was too late. It sucks for the guy's situation mentioned in the OP, but that child only knows their adoptive parents as their real parents. Having biological ties does not automatically make you a family. Your kid who's never met you before isn't going to magically bond with you just because he came out of your womb/nutsack. You're just a stranger to him.
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