Of course. I was and I turned out great. Same with everyone else I know.

I understand what you're saying and it makes perfect sense. I think my biggest issue is that I just simply wouldn't have the heart to spank my child. I know we aren't talking about extreme beatings or anything, but I know I'd feel really guilty about it afterwards. I strongly believe that by being consistent and showing your displeasure in different forms (voice/tone, taking toys away, time out) and rewarding opposite behavior the child will be more apt to only do the latter.

Kids at the age of 8-9 are the perfect age for groundings though. That's the time when they start giving materials more value. The most important thing about this method is consistency and seriousness. You don't let them off groundings/time outs early, you take away their distractions or whatever else is necessary. Don't let them off easy, show them how serious you are and that it's not a game. It's more effort than just socking your kid but personally, I would feel much more morally satisfied with the results.

You can say a kid can just brush off a grounding, but the same goes for a spank. There are kids out there who will only feel evoked by that type of punishment and rebel even more. Which you obviously don't want. Groundings (and whatnot) give the child a chance to cool down and think about what they did wrong. It actually allows the child to reflect and actually think about why they are receiving a punishment.

What happens if your child doesn't even know why you're spanking them? What if they honestly didn't realize the difference between right and wrong in that situation? You can't just blindly spank them. Your job as a parent isn't to beat the bad out of your child but rather teach them how to be good. Violence promotes violence etc.

nnnnnnn and on the first page



Maybe, idk, I think I probably won't. I would sit them in the bathroom alone and take away phone etc.

it depends on what the child is like. all kids react differently to different types of discipline.

lord this too much

eh.... what it boils down to is what type of kid you have, whether they're the type that need that kind of discipline, whether they're the type who just aren't affected by anything you do (spanking included) or whether they're just not the type who need discipline on that level at such an early age. really how you handle kids under the age of 8-9 is up to the parent and up to how the parent thinks would effectively teach the child right from wrong. it's a slippery slope for me. i agree though, like 8-9 is when grounding and taking things away has a more effective approach.

i don't want to seem some authoritarian jerk what i mean by spanking them and such is that obviously i would teach them and spell it out for them that what they're being spanked for is for something they did that was clearly wrong. my parents did that, so every time i got spanked i knew what i did was too much -- and i was still a relatively good child. i only ever got spanked when i went too far, and that would be my goal. i would only spank my kids if they went too far. not just "you disrespected me, you're getting a spanking". no, it'd have to be something clear cut bad for me to resort to spanking or anything more physical than that.i know for a fact that i would be the slow-boiling parent, if i get mad at my kids they'd know they've pushed the line as far as it's gonna go.

but yeah idk. the severity of the punishments for kids younger than 7/8 is up to the parent. as long as we understand each other's points of views, that's all i'm down for. i actually respect yours side a bit more, it's a bit more honorable. i hope it works out for your kids you sound like you'd be a great parent.

that's more about individual personalities, though. most well behaved kids don't get spanked when they're young cause they don't do things that'd deserve a spanking. furthermore, a kid who acts up a lot would be raised and disciplined much differently. that's what i had meant by factors you can't consider going into a commitment like this: the type of kid you're gonna be raising.

I completely understand your point-of-view and it does make sense. There is a thin line between abuse and just trying to teach a lesson and it's obvious that you only have good intentions. I'm not trying to completely condone the idea of spanking children; it's a method that's been used for years and has proven to be successful. I was never spanked as a child, but I remember seeing kids gets spanked and I always felt bad for them. Admittedly, they did stop what they were doing immediately and didn't do it again.

Anyway, thank-you for having a civilized discussion about this! I love when ATRL proves to be a decent ground for healthy discussions. I'm still pretty firm on the ground/reward method but I can definitely see where you're coming from. It does make sense, and as long as the parents who believe in this method have the same 'boiling point' + explain why frame of mind as you then it's not all that bad. It's more so the parents that just go straight to "WAM! stop that!" that I have problems with.

Also, thanks for the compliment.

Eww.

Anyway, my answer is yes. I'll hate myself for doing so, but I think it's an effective form of punishment. It helped my siblings and I.

I don't want kids, but if I did, I'd only spank as a last resort.

You have to know your child and what works for them.

Yw and i HATE parents like that. Just because your kid is 'loud and annoying' doesn't justify whacking the kid. I judge the parents more than i judge the kid tbh.