Ukraine is planning to march large numbers of gay men into Crimea in hopes of scaring off Russian soldiers currently occupying the territory.
“Russia is one of the most homophobic nations on Earth,” says Ukrainian defense minister Boris Grishenko. “We’re planning to use that fact to our advantage and take back our land.
“Ukraine is a small country. We don’t have a lot of tanks or battleships. And we stupidly gave up our nuclear weapons in the 1990’s. But we still have plenty of gays, and if there’s one thing Russians fear more than atomic warfare it’s explicit displays of homosexuality.
“It will start small. Just a simple parade with a few hundred shirtless men. But once the Lady Gaga starts blasting, things are gonna get wild. Hopefully all the pumping, grinding and gyrating will have them headed for the hills.”
"Fighting homophobia and Putin at the same time? Sign me up." says Victor, a 34 year old hairdresser, "My partner and I are marching together and we're bringing the full set of butt plugs. I can't wait."
Your faves are worried about sales and public image while Gaga here is Fighting for the Nations freedom!
When will your president??? Pope??? Prime Minister???
slay me Mama!!!! Queen of revolution!!!
Mother Teresa who???
Hillary what???
when will Oprah??
truly the only Mulan in an industry full of Sleeping Beauties!!
