Sex has never been a particularly pleasant experience for me. It's a fundamental part of being a gay man, of being a human being, but the "fun" part has always eluded me. The hunt is exhausting. The encounter is fleeting. The loneliness seeps in. And then it begins anew. The cycle continues. Like all addictions, there's a cycle.
For me, the process of hooking up has become an addiction. An addiction fueled by insecurity. The insecurity that comes with being a gay man. The insecurity that you're not masculine enough when masculinity is demanded of you -- absolutely demanded -- as a matter of course from other gay men. "Masc musc" whimpers many a profile. Masculine. Muscular. Abs prominently on display. Face obscured or head completely decapitated. This is the faceless face of hooking up in the 21st century.
Being online and having a world of men at your fingertips with a wall of anonymity between you and them makes us all awful people. It reinforces unreal body expectations, encourages the enumeration of ideal qualities/deal breakers, and contributes to the further disconnectedness of my already disconnected generation. I've spent countless hours, whether alone or in the company of friends I rudely ignored, staring intently at my phone, slavishly yet listlessly flipping through the same profiles, wasting my time and poking holes in my self-esteem for what? Sex? Maybe. Love? Hardly. Validation? Probably.
You know there's a problem in our community when every social site for gay men turns into a hook-up site.
That's one thing I appreciate about ATRL. You get to know other gays for who they are (kinda ) not what they look like or how femme/masc they are or what weight they are or what race they are.
Anyway, that's a real bad title. d. I swear I searched every variation of the title from the article to make sure. You **** need to learn to label things better.
I feel so lucky that I have a loving, generous, caring boyfriend who is also extremely sexy. Being single and sorting through endless Grindr and Plenty of Fish profiles is depressing.
) not what they look like or how femme/masc they are or what weight they are or what race they are.