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Discussion: Children's Clothing (Gender Norms)
Member Since: 5/7/2012
Posts: 8,404
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I can understand not letting your child undergo Hormone therapy until they're 18, but not letting them be themselves period is just oppressive and sad.
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Member Since: 8/7/2010
Posts: 9,646
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I'm glad I grew up in an environment that allowed me to be free in whatever I desired to experiment in.
I wasn't constrained down by gender norms, or having my parents telling me I have to play sports instead of learn about music, or get into acting, ect.
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Member Since: 6/9/2012
Posts: 3,964
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Quote:
Originally posted by alestevens
At 18 my sons would stop being underage and they would be considered legally adults (at least in my country). At that age, i feel they are really concient of what they are doing, and if they feel they can handle the heat. What if the 12 years old guy wants to use a dress and then gets bullied, feels his life is ruined and then regrets it for the rest of his life? And in some cases where the parents let the child do what he/she wants, i saw them later letting blaming their parents for letting them do those things they later regret  |
Nothing will change from the night they are 17, to the morning they are 18. You need to be a bit more respectful of the fact that your children are not you, and be supportive of who THEY are. I pray that you don't have kids and if you do, they are typical cis kids.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 15,836
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Quote:
Originally posted by IsidoraMarí
If your six year old can't properly wash their own ass by 6 then you are a sad human that can't raise and shouldn't raise children.
And Children ARE NOT slaves.
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No they arent, but they are still going to stick with my rules. That´s what parents are meant for, to draw some limits till they reach the legal age, where they can do whatever pleases them 
And to the "clean his/her ass" part, its not literal, its a common phrase here in Argentina, it means that if the person barely knows how to do such an easy thing, that same person shouldnt be taking important decisions or something like that
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Banned
Member Since: 11/7/2011
Posts: 36,781
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Quote:
Originally posted by Harmonic Dreamer
I'm glad I grew up in an environment that allowed me to be free in whatever I desired to experiment in.
I wasn't constrained down by gender norms, or having my parents telling me I have to play sports instead of learn about music, or get into acting, ect. |
Same here. I'm glad my parents let me be me.
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Member Since: 11/26/2010
Posts: 14,197
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Quote:
Originally posted by alestevens
At 18 my sons would stop being underage and they would be considered legally adults (at least in my country). At that age, i feel they are really concient of what they are doing, and if they feel they can handle the heat. What if the 12 years old guy wants to use a dress and then gets bullied, feels his life is ruined and then regrets it for the rest of his life? And in some cases where the parents let the child do what he/she wants, i saw them later letting blaming their parents for letting them do those things they later regret |
So you're telling me you didn't know your identity when you were 12? People wouldn't get bullied for it if parents let their children be whoever they feel they need to be at whatever age they choose to.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 15,836
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Quote:
Originally posted by Blatboy
Nothing will change from the night they are 17, to the morning they are 18. You need to be a bit more respectful of the fact that your children are not you, and be supportive of who THEY are. I pray that you don't have kids and if you do, they are typical cis kids.
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No, nothing will change. They will just be in their legal age, so they can be actually free and responsible for their actions. I saw SEVERAL cases of children that their parents let them do what they wanted, and then when they regret some decision, they blame the parents for not limiting them when they were about to take the decision they end up considering "stupid" at a time where they thought they were "old enough to take decisions". And sorry, i know my english is a disgrace, good luck understanding what i said 
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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If I have kids I will fully support them, especially regarding their creative exploration of their identity, visual and otherwise.
And if they decide to do/wear something not "normal", I'll verbalize my support emphatically so that no matter what, they know that I support them entirely. I'll be their biggest fan. At the same time I'll let them know that not everyone will be capable of understanding their unique decisions, and may express that somehow, and therefore being true to yourself requires tangible bravery. In the end, the decisions are theirs, but either way they know I'm on their team.
I firmly believe in not just allowing, but encouraging kids to explore their creative potential without imposing oppressing limitations that only build walls in their mind.
...This is making me want kids 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 15,836
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Quote:
Originally posted by bleuwaffle
So you're telling me you didn't know your identity when you were 12? People wouldn't get bullied for it if parents let their children be whoever they feel they need to be at whatever age they choose to.
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The problem is not them knowing who they are, the problem is them taking decisions they may regret. Once they are on their legal age, they will know if they are really capable of handling the heat or not
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Member Since: 6/9/2012
Posts: 3,964
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Quote:
Originally posted by alestevens
No, nothing will change. They will just be in their legal age, so they can be actually free and responsible for their actions. I saw SEVERAL cases of children that their parents let them do what they wanted, and then when they regret some decision, they blame the parents for not limiting them when they were about to take the decision they end up considering "stupid" at a time where they thought they were "old enough to take decisions". And sorry, i know my english is a disgrace, good luck understanding what i said |
Really? Because I see MORE than several cases of trans kids hating their parents for not letting them be them, I see MORE than several cases of trans kids killing themselves because of people like yourself raising them, I see MORE than several cases of trans kids suffering from serious mental problems all their lives because they couldn't just have a supportive parent let them be who they are.
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Member Since: 11/26/2010
Posts: 14,197
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Quote:
Originally posted by alestevens
The problem is not them knowing who they are, the problem is them taking decisions they may regret. Once they are on their legal age, they will know if they are really capable of handling the heat or not
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Looking back at myself, I'm glad my parents let me wear and play with whatever I wanted. They never once took away my Barbies or told me I couldn't wear my "girl" sneakers. I'm not as flamboyant anymore (  ), but the freedom they gave me let me feel comfortable in my own skin nowadays. Yeah I was bullied but it gave me a thicker skin and I thank them for it.
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Member Since: 8/7/2010
Posts: 9,646
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A parents job is to guide, teach, and bond with their child.
Of course there has to be rules but I know that being too strict only brings about rebellion and resentment.
I knew exactly who I was and who I wanted to be when I was 12.
I didn't care about bullying or what other people thought about me because I had self-worth.
That is a weak excuse for not allowing someone to be who they are.
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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Quote:
Originally posted by alestevens
The problem is not them knowing who they are, the problem is them taking decisions they may regret. Once they are on their legal age, they will know if they are really capable of handling the heat or not
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I feel sorry for your (potential future) kids.
Yes rules are necessary for properly raising children, but not rules regarding their personality and identity, which is exactly what is being manifested in the way they choose to present themselves to the world.
Your rules won't change your children's desires. It will only serve to teach them that they have a parent who doesn't love nor accept the true them.
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Member Since: 8/24/2008
Posts: 35,091
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Quote:
Originally posted by alestevens
No, i dont hate it, but im not letting them take such a decision at such a young age. I´ll let them know i support them but that they will have to wait till they are +18 and they can take responsabilities for their acts, knowing the consequences. Not much people is really judging a girl for playing basketball or a guy for playing ice skate these days tho.
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I'm pretty sure if millions of children are able to make the decision to kill themselves at those ages it's not that hard for them to make other decisions.
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 22,877
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Quote:
Originally posted by keris#1fan<3
Stop making messy threads asking for transphobia. We all know half this site is transphobic. |
That is literally offensive in itself. "Don't incite intelligent discussion because the idiots here can't keep their regressive, prehistoric attitudes to themselves." Well that's probably true, that's hardly a reason for a thread to be closed. The whole "thread closing if people get rabid" rule is a disgrace.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 15,836
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Quote:
Originally posted by inspiration4
I feel sorry for your (potential future) kids.
Yes rules are necessary for properly raising children, but not rules regarding their personality and identity, which is exactly what is being manifested in the way they choose to present themselves to the world.
Your rules won't change your children's desires. It will only serve to teach them that they have a parent who doesn't love nor accept the true them.
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Dont even feel sorry, i´ll do the most i can for my children to be raised in the most harmless environment, and i myself hate the whole "image" thing, so i will try to raise them to believe how they are dressed is not even important. I spend my whole day dressed with some shorts and shirts from like 5 years ago or some that are even from 20 years ago that once used to be from my uncles, my cousins, my dad, or even from some friends. My dad is exactly all the oppossite, he wants me to be careful with my image because he thinks exactly like me, that i may regret leaving a bad image of myself. However, i like the fact that he draws some limits and makes me dress decently from time to time, although i dont agree with him 
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