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Discussion: Being gay - the hardest thing?
Member Since: 1/1/2013
Posts: 15,264
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Quote:
Originally posted by ezra.jones
just the fact that they want to be "less gay" is a huge problem in itself  |
No, it's not. You complain that they want to be less gay, but I don't think that's the problem... They just want to be seen as normal guys, which they are... Why should they be associated with the feminine gays if that is not who they are and what they are attracted to? I don't like hanging out with extremely feminine gays because they exaggerate a lot and, from my observations, are often drama queens. I don't like being in the spotlight like most of the feminine gays, i mean, you know you are going to draw attention when you act like that as a man... I just don't like them as people and they are as much like me as agressive men who like to fight when they go to a bar, i.e. nothing at all...
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Member Since: 3/25/2012
Posts: 10,673
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stevie
Knowing that I can't even attempt to flirt with a guy I like without humiliation, because chances are they're straight.
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It definitely sucks being scared as hell to even approach or compliment a guy because they're usually straight and in my experience, are NOT ok with being "hit on" by a gay guy. One of my straight friends said it makes them feel emasculated. Like wtf does that even mean?  You don't have a problem with a female complimenting you, but somehow when a guy does it, suddenly your masculinity is being threatened? Wat?
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Banned
Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 20,327
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Quote:
Originally posted by I Am Music
I see what you're saying it comes off as very fake unless that's how they always were and wanted to hide it. Even then shoving it in everyone;s faces is not the way to go, the best way to go about it is in a subtle manner. You're not a special snowflake for being out congrats is in due order but come on.
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this is the kind of acrimony and nastiness that's also the hardest part of being gay. so I do the hardest thing in my life (coming out to my parents at age 15) and literally feel like I wanna die after it was so awfully received: and the little pitiful remnant of a "community" I thought had existed for me thinks it doesn't matter, I'm being fake, I'm shoving things in people's faces (I'm not definitely not  ), etc.
being gay is the pits tbh lemme leave this thread
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Member Since: 8/1/2012
Posts: 4,224
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Quote:
Originally posted by I Am Music
We need to stop putting each other in a box its stifling our expression to be ourselves.
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This is the only right answer. I hate people who box themselves and others based on sexuality, race, gender etc. People need to realize these things don't effect anyone's personality and are small irrelevant aspects in the grand scheme of a person's individuality.
Quote:
Originally posted by princedonte
Being a black gay is hard. White gays don't even see us a human as well as other blacks they want us dead
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It's sad there's so much racism when homosexuality isn't fully accepted either. You'd think "some" people in the gay community would be more open-minded, but nope.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 14,988
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sinvius
Finding other gay guys in homophobic areas or counties. Trust me on this. |
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Member Since: 4/29/2012
Posts: 29,059
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Quote:
Originally posted by cloudinthesky
It definitely sucks being scared as hell to even approach or compliment a guy because they're usually straight and in my experience, are NOT ok with being "hit on" by a gay guy. One of my straight friends said it makes them feel emasculated. Like wtf does that even mean? You don't have a problem with a female complimenting you, but somehow when a guy does it, suddenly your masculinity is being threatened? Wat? |
It's funyy since most of the "straight" compliment each other and slap each other ass and I've seen some really "gay" **** from the dry humping to basically fingering each other in public and sleep in the same bed with only boxers but it's fine since they "straight"
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Banned
Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 20,327
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Quote:
Originally posted by BadMonster
No, it's not. You complain that they want to be less gay, but I don't think that's the problem... They just want to be seen as normal guys, which they are... Why should they be associated with the feminine gays if that is not who they are and what they are attracted to? I don't like hanging out with extremely feminine gays because they exaggerate a lot and, from my observations, are often drama queens. I don't like being in the spotlight like most of the feminine gays, i mean, you know you are going to draw attention when you act like that as a man... I just don't like them as people and they are as much like me as agressive men who like to fight when they go to a bar, i.e. nothing at all...
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>>>> this comment
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Member Since: 8/6/2012
Posts: 20,242
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Quote:
Originally posted by ezra.jones
this is the kind of acrimony and nastiness that's also the hardest part of being gay. so I do the hardest thing in my life (coming out to my parents at age 15) and literally feel like I wanna die after it was so awfully received: and the little pitiful remnant of a "community" I thought had existed for me thinks it doesn't matter, I'm being fake, I'm shoving things in people's faces (I'm not definitely not ), etc.
being gay is the pits tbh lemme leave this thread |
I think you're taking what I said the wrong way you can be yourself if that's how you truly are. If you're flamboyant go ahead and be so but there are some gay men who are very extra for the sake of being extra not because they're truly flamboyant.
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Member Since: 3/25/2012
Posts: 10,673
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Quote:
Originally posted by BadMonster
No, it's not. You complain that they want to be less gay, but I don't think that's the problem... They just want to be seen as normal guys, which they are... Why should they be associated with the feminine gays if that is not who they are and what they are attracted to? I don't like hanging out with extremely feminine gays because they exaggerate a lot and, from my observations, are often drama queens. I don't like being in the spotlight like most of the feminine gays, i mean, you know you are going to draw attention when you act like that as a man... I just don't like them as people and they are as much like me as agressive men who like to fight when they go to a bar, i.e. nothing at all...
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This post is so full of stereotypes, I don't even know how to begin.
I'm a non-feminine guy as well, but whose place is it to say that feminine gays are not "normal guys"? I've seen straight men that act more feminine than some masculine (and even feminine) gays I know. So are those straight men not "normal guys"? The fact that masculine is seen as the proper, and only way that a man should act is problematic in itself. I have feminine gay friends who do not act like drama queens, do not dress in drag, do not exaggerate a lot and they even enjoy being aggressive at times. Just accept that that's how some guys are. They can't help it, just like you can't help being masculine because that's how you are.
Whether you want to admit it or not, there IS a problem when our marginalized community makes it a point to marginalize another subset of people within our own community. When you say you don't like them as people, you do realize you're doing the exact same thing that straight people do to gays right?
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 12/7/2011
Posts: 27,655
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All this tea being LaSpilled. 
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Member Since: 2/29/2012
Posts: 17,071
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Quote:
Originally posted by BadMonster
Grammaticaly the bolded part doesn't make sense, it's as if there are words missing/wrongly used or you didn't finish sentences before starting another, I don't get at all what you are saying... Can you rephrase? What I got from it: You are racist even if you do like a few people from that race, which is would disagree with... I never said I couldn't ever fall in love with someone from a different race, but chances are slim, also because most people I know are caucasians..
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Where's the bolded?
My argument was how you held a physical stigma on an entire group of people based on whatever physical criteria you didn't like, and then proceeded to block them off from your preference. If you're not used to seeing or being close to ethnic people, that's fine, that's usually out of your control. But it's not exactly fair to say "I don't like *insert race* guys just because they didn't have what you're used to physically. You just blocked off an entire group of people based on your comfort zone. I didn't call you a racist, I said your actions were of racist form, even if it wasn't your intent.
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I don't understand why when it comes to sexual attraction, why some people still look at things in groups and marked down by their negatives instead of focusing on the positives. Just… if it makes your dick hard then it makes your dick hard.
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 19,449
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My friend and I were talking about it the other day how society has kinda labelled being gay as a "white thing" (at least where I'm from). I think its much more difficult for black people to come out as gay because our parents are not well informed about it hence so many young black men follow the wrong path or end up marrying women. 
Not saying its easy for white men to come out, just saying that its much more difficult for black men.
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Member Since: 8/6/2012
Posts: 20,242
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kitt
Where's the bolded?
My argument was how you held a physical stigma on an entire group of people based on whatever physical criteria you didn't like, and then proceeded to block them off from your preference. If you're not used to seeing or being close to ethnic people, that's fine, that's usually out of your control. But it's not exactly fair to say "I don't like *insert race* guys just because they didn't have what you're used to physically. You just blocked off an entire group of people based on your comfort zone. I didn't call you a racist, I said your actions were of racist form, even if it wasn't your intent.
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I don't understand why when it comes to sexual attraction, why some people still look at things in groups and marked down by their negatives instead of focusing on the positives. Just… if it makes your dick hard then it makes your dick hard. |
I will go as far as saying its all in your head more than the one between your legs.
I have seen some guys who had a very strong stance on what they liked and didn't like but ended up dating the very opposite of what they were used to.
You can't write an entire race off as unattractive when you have yet to meet one that will likely spark your fire.
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Member Since: 7/22/2012
Posts: 8,401
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Banned
Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 20,327
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Quote:
Originally posted by I Am Music
I think you're taking what I said the wrong way you can be yourself if that's how you truly are. If you're flamboyant go ahead and be so but there are some gay men who are very extra for the sake of being extra not because they're truly flamboyant.
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why should that matter?! I think the overly straight-acting beef-jerky eating protein-shake-chugging gays are extra yet I don't see you complaining about that?
the double standards giving me Gaga hater tea's 
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Member Since: 2/29/2012
Posts: 17,071
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Quote:
Originally posted by I Am Music
I will go as far as saying its all in your head more than the one between your legs.
I have seen some guys who had a very strong stance on what they liked and didn't like but ended up dating the very opposite of what they were used to.
You can't write an entire race off as unattractive when you have yet to meet one that will likely spark your fire.
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Right, but when you go around putting that type of judgement out there in the open, it's kind of promoting that that type of stigmatizing is okay.
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Member Since: 7/22/2012
Posts: 8,401
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Quote:
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We no longer see human beings and learn to love them, explore them, lock eyes with them and feel the exhilaration of romance and falling in love. We just log on to Grindr, the gay slot-machine, and repeatedly “load more guys” waiting for a jackpot that will never come. We are addicts, just like any common gamblers addicted to their machines. It doesn’t matter how many beautiful, similarly-tortured, like-minded souls send us a message, because unless they are this dude above, we are simply not interested.
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Completely agree.
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Member Since: 10/1/2011
Posts: 33,423
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Let's ask this question
Why do gays have such low self esteem?
I hope this thread doesn't get closed its nice to see a place where people are having legit and mature discussion
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Member Since: 8/6/2012
Posts: 20,242
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Quote:
Originally posted by ezra.jones
why should that matter?! I think the overly straight-acting beef-jerky eating protein-shake-chugging gays are extra yet I don't see you complaining about that?
the double standards giving me Gaga hater tea's |
I have a problem with both ends of the spectrum tbh.
Just be yourself if you're actually flamboyant great I have friends who are if you're really masculine great.
I just don't think anyone should have to put on an act to appease the invisible standard.
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Member Since: 7/22/2012
Posts: 8,401
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Quote:
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gays everywhere have become a sick group of animals who have completely lost their ability to interact on any authentic level, who have fearfully squashed themselves into simplified categories of drop-down boxes, and who banish entire groups of their own kind based purely on unwanted physical characteristics that do not fit the Gay-For-Pay **** Model Image. We demand equal rights, but treat each other like sub-human animals, and worship the Straight Man as God-King.
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Sad, but true.
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