Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 23,412
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'Styled' to flop
Bravo has successfully created a show that we all will probably catch ourselves watching a marathon of accidentally, not be able to find the remote and quietly succumb to. “Styled to Rock,” the network’s latest venture, holds aspects of the best trashy TV shows. While not bringing anything new to the television industry, the show is hosted by Rihanna, mentored by Pharrell and welcomes an array of celebrity guests.
The only thing bad about @badgirlriri in the series premiere is her hair in the opening commentary. While explaining the premise of the show, the attention turns to the strange mullet-inspired hairstyle that not even Rihanna can rock. A bit concerning considering the show literally centers around the concept of celebrity styling. Luckily for the rest of the show, she looks flawless per usual.
While these designers were chosen from “thousands of applicants” for their blossoming talent, personal style doesn’t seem to have been requisite. Two contestants wore essentially the same outfit at one point in the episode — and no one seemed to notice. Ahni wore her barely there, cut-up black shirt with a neon-yellow bikini top, while Andre wore his barely there, cut-up black shirt with black short-shorts. It’s hard to imagine that designers supposedly on the cusp of fashion greatness would create unintentional his-and-her shirts that look they were made by a seventh grader.
“Styled to Rock” combines elements of MTV’s “Real World,” any singing combination ever to air and “Project Runway.” The contestants share living space with minimal privacy á la “Real World.” Without a system for choosing beds, drama is guaranteed to arise later on. Talks of “cute undies” and sleeping naked occurred within about a minute of the housing arrangement being revealed.
A particularly captivating moment occurred when the designers realized that the producers had kindly stocked the contestants’ fridge with champagne. The designers responded by squealing, and bottles were promptly popped open to much delight. One of the designers, Jordan, looked legitimately frightened and made an astute observation about the other designers’ flamboyant personalities. Considering the competitors are designers competing to become celebrity stylists, this confessional seemed unnecessary.
“Runway” had a multitude of great catchphrases with Heidi Klum’s signature “Auf Wiedersehen” reigning supreme, but “Styled to Rock” only has a lame attempt. “This has been your last look” does not have the same power as Klum’s formal German goodbye. Since they are creating a show that is bound to be compared to similar past programs, these writers should work on something with more punch to send the designers packing.
“Styled to Rock” appears destined to remain mediocre and uninspired. Thankfully Rihanna has other talents to fall back on, because her endeavor in TV may not last long. Unfortunately, “Styled to Rock” does not offer up anything exciting enough to waste DVR space on — wait for the inevitable Bravo marathon instead.
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Rihanna really has you pressed, it's crazy.
