Okay so I don't expect or really even want anyone to read this, I just need to vent.
So like, on Grindr there was this really hot guy (like a 9/10) who's like three years older than I am and he actually seems fairly intelligent without being like stuck up and, like me, he's actually looking for a relationship, so naturally I decided that I was in love with him, but for like the last two months I could not work up the courage to talk to him because, on a good day, I'm only a 7/10, my life is a mess, and I am terrified of rejection. So anyway, ~4 weeks ago he deleted his profile and I was devastated for no rational reason. But then about a week and a half ago he created a new profile and I decided that I would work up the courage to talk to him. I had him saved as a favorite and slowly I was building up my confidence but then last night I saw that it looked like he had deleted his profile (all the profile info was cleared out and all that was left was a pic and he had no online/idle status) and I was disheartened again, but I figured I'd just message the ghost account so it would feel like I was actually talking to him so that I wouldn't feel quite as nervous about actually talking to him should he reactivate his profile again.
I said something like "Nooooo you deleted your profile again
" followed by "I was going to work up the courage to talk to you eventually
" and then went to sleep. But like an hour ago I reopened Grindr on my phone and saw that he hadn't actually deleted his profile and he actually got my embarrassingly cloying message and he responded "I'm here" so I did what any thinking person would do and went nuclear, changed my picture to some generic picture and deleted my profile out of sheer embarrassment.
I am aware I have many issues.
I'm going to listen to some Sarah McLachlan or something.
