Originally posted by 8=K=A=Y=B=E=E=D

It is. I just hate Valentine's Day because I feel like it's a day to celebrate something that should be celebrated every day and because I somehow end up single every year around that time.

See my dad wasn't the typical "dead beat". I lived with him in a very lavish 2 story house. He was a successful lawyer and I didn't really have to want for anything; however, there are dead beats who don't provide for their kids at all and those who think as long as they're dishing out money that they're being a father to you. My dad was the lather. He didn't necessarily take care of me. He was an alcoholic, which is eventually what killed him, and whenever he got drunk he would throw fits of rage and I'm sure everyone has heard my stories of him molesting me when I was little.

The worst part of it all is a lot of people take the fact that he did provide for me and my siblings and throw that in our faces like we're ungrateful and that we should be thankful for that. I really don't acknowledge the holiday outside of my brothers who are wonderful fathers to their kids; however, people say I should go visit my dad's grave and ****. THE MAN USED TO MOLEST ME AND BEAT THE **** OUT OF ME.

Originally posted by castrobabytiger

Originally posted by JayEl

Unfortunately.

Originally posted by 8=K=A=Y=B=E=E=D

It is. I just hate Valentine's Day because I feel like it's a day to celebrate something that should be celebrated every day and because I somehow end up single every year around that time.

See my dad wasn't the typical "dead beat". I lived with him in a very lavish 2 story house. He was a successful lawyer and I didn't really have to want for anything; however, there are dead beats who don't provide for their kids at all and those who think as long as they're dishing out money that they're being a father to you. My dad was the lather. He didn't necessarily take care of me. He was an alcoholic, which is eventually what killed him, and whenever he got drunk he would throw fits of rage and I'm sure everyone has heard my stories of him molesting me when I was little.

The worst part of it all is a lot of people take the fact that he did provide for me and my siblings and throw that in our faces like we're ungrateful and that we should be thankful for that. I really don't acknowledge the holiday outside of my brothers who are wonderful fathers to their kids; however, people say I should go visit my dad's grave and ****. THE MAN USED TO MOLEST ME AND BEAT THE **** OUT OF ME.

Originally posted by TheVoiceXtina

Or fathering another batch of offspring

Originally posted by 8=K=A=Y=B=E=E=D

I do. I have trust issues. Like your father is supposed to protect you from sex and impurities. He's the man that took all of that away from me. He lured me in and told me he would never do anything to hurt me and me being 5 didn't know any better. I honestly, at the time, thought he wasn't harming me. I just didn't like it and when it hurt he would tell me the pain was only temporary.

Every time a man tells me he'll never hurt me, it's a red flag. I don't like to be around men who drink a lot because in my mind it'll always lead to something bad like me being abused and a couple of times it actually has. I have intimacy issues. I really struggle my first time being with a guy because it's just that difficult to let him have it. I can't grasp the idea of me having the power to give it up because it was taken from me by my father. It's hard and I constantly sit and wonder why I can't stay in a relationship when in reality it's because I struggle grasping the idea of my past.

Originally posted by TheVoiceXtina

omg, that's horrific. He's such a bastard

Didn't your mother or siblings attempt to help you?

Originally posted by Javan

That is so sad to hear. I hate it when terrible things happen to good people

Originally posted by castrobabytiger

Originally posted by 8=K=A=Y=B=E=E=D

Well the thing is, my mom had sickle cell anemia (just as I do) and at the time she was pregnant and gave birth to me there weren't that many medical advances for it and she died in labor with me. So my whole life it's like he had a personal vendetta against me like I purposely killed my mom. He never lashed out at my other siblings. When he molested me once, he said "You took my wife away from me so you're going to give me the things she can no longer give me".

I didn't even tell anyone about my dad molesting me until I was 21 simply because I was scared. He was considered a prominent public figure and I felt if I said anything people would believe I was lying and some did. The only reason I spoke out about it is because he died and people were on my case because they acted like I showed no remorse for it. So I let them know why. I let them know that I couldn't shed a tear for someone who did those things to me.

If my mom were here I'm sure things would be different. He wouldn't be a alcoholic. I honestly don't think he would have molested me. I just think her dying traumatized him.

Originally posted by 8=K=A=Y=B=E=E=D

Oh you're my friend now little boy?

Originally posted by castrobabytiger

Originally posted by TheVoiceXtina

You've been dealt a lot of pain and anguish and that i hope you've/will be able to receive the therapy you need.

Truly, truly sorry

Originally posted by YourMadGesty

My goodness -- I'm a childrens social worker and hearing things like that breaks my heart into pieces. Sadly, you're not alone.

Originally posted by castrobabytiger

dont befriend him...he's on that Wiz Khalifa status


but is that you in your avi???

Originally posted by 8=K=A=Y=B=E=E=D

Oh you're my friend now little boy?

Originally posted by Damien M

Kendra. You've never told me all this

Originally posted by castrobabytiger