Originally posted by ririfan21

Originally posted by ethan

Your entry is kind of all over the place, there is really no organization. In one sentence, you’re talking about how the power could benefit you. In another, you’re talking about how you could use it for evil purposes, and then you throw in a part about the good you could do at the end because that was the assignment. It didn’t bother me that much that you’d picked two powers because they are pretty similar, it just bothered me how little you seemed to care about using your powers for good. You’re talking about stealing things, lying, gossiping, and killing people. Yes, you also mention that you could save some people, but that really should have been the focus of the entry. It’s fine if you want to use your powers to help yourself, but that shouldn’t be why you want the powers. In future rounds, I hope you’ll try to keep your entry more organized and focused on what the challenge is. Good formatting though!

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

You explained with fine details about what the two super powers you were wanting to do really well. I think your examples were good, my issue is the focus of the time period of 24 hours went missing when you divided what powers you were using for the one day. You did think this through very well and if you were more specific about what you would do with your day, it would have been one of my favorite entries

Originally posted by staracademy1990

I said I would give out a perfect score for whoever chooses the super power I want, which is being telepathic. But still you did amazing with the layout and explanation, so kudos

Originally posted by Kitt

instead of blatantly going with two different powers, i wish you would've found some creative way to make it work in one. They are both mental powers, so you could have found some way to tie them together. Great two choices though! Invisibility and telekinesis were my two most wanted super powers as well. I also love that you make your entries full images, that's pretty unique and convenient. Something to keep in mind though, the full width of posts is 700px. So i'd suggest keeping it at that or under, so when it get resized down, it doesn't come out too blurry.

Originally posted by Dillon

I'm still not impressed with you. You just ramble on and on and you go off on different topics that take away from the entry. It said to write about one and you wrote about two. That isn't cheating but it's not following directions which is the main point of each challenge. I would have given this a 6 but using two sealed the deal. I think adding pictures or something would have at least distracted me and gotten you a better score. Better luck next time.

Originally posted by ethan

Nice entry! I love the power you chose and the balance between being able to use it for your benefit and for the benefit of the world. The Lord of Powers is a great title, did you come up with that? Very creative use of it, and also very nice formatting! I loved the gifs and pictures you chose, it felt like a very cohesive entry. Some of the content was a little general and short, but overall, I think you submitted a great entry! In future rounds, I hope you will continue to develop your personal style and keep showing us your personality!

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

this was an interesting power that I haven't heard of before anyways I i like not only how you explained your power but also gave the theory behind what you would do with your power. You had some interesting pictures as well in a good way. I wished this would have been made more personable and shown whAt you, Kavish, would have wanted to do with the power for a day specifically. Anyway I want to note you asked for an extension so I did not mark this down due to a failure of turning it in on the new deadline

Originally posted by staracademy1990

Another great entry You have been in my top 3 presentations for every challenge now, keep it up. Your superpower is awesome! I mean who wouldn’t wanna have it?

Originally posted by Kitt

Love the formatting once again, great job Kavish. Also nice unique power choice! I really don't have much else to say, it was a great entry and you stuck to the guidelines of the challenge.

Originally posted by Dillon

I really like your entries here. They're very straight to the point without being boring. Just the right amount of everything required. Your superpower was clever since it allowed you to absorb others.
That guys foot is really gross and almost made me deduct 5 points...anyway very nice Kavalicious.

Originally posted by ethan

I loved your entry. The formatting was simpler than others, but I think it looked very classy and really ended up benefitting you more than an over-the-top formatting would have. The theme song was an amazing touch, it’s catchy! Very creative and funny. The power itself is great, it’s a little limited, but I love how you chose one that was really all about benefitting the world. I agree – the world would be a much better place if there was more kindness! Creative title and theme song, creative power, overall great entry!

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

I liked your super power you chose and it made sense of the logistics behind what you would do with the power. The task did call for being specific in what you would have done for a day with the power, which despite you example, didnt give me a sense of a timeline with what you would do. You still explained it rather well and have good intensions. Cute track btw and it is giving me the idea to use this with other ATRL users (not just for the challenge lemme make you famous) also I did not mark down your score for lateness since you asked for an extention.

Originally posted by staracademy1990

You best know you had me with your theme song . Your presentation is good, needs a little bit of tweaking; I’m personally not a fan of the title or the graphics for it. But the concept and originality of your entry wins it.

Originally posted by Kitt

Well, you did go out of the box, I'll give you that. Plus, I can always appreciate a good personal touch. I also love the the Nicki signature, nice touch.

*And congrats on graduating! I remember how hectic a time it was for me around this timeframe also.

Originally posted by Dillon

Aren't you cute pretending you're a miss america contestant who wants world peace for this world. This was creative. I mean it's as gay as a Boy George song but it works. It's a clean entry and you're right saying that it wouldn't just benefit you, but the whole world. You saying the crime rate would go down made me think of The Purge and omg that's some scary ****. Anyway, good job.

Originally posted by ethan

First of all, that’s not Rebecca Staab. It’s Jessica Alba. Rebecca Staab played the Invisible Woman in the unreleased 1994 version of the Fantastic Four. It’s odd that you missed that, and beyond that, the entry was really overall a miss for me. You did not mention anything about helping the world, just the random things you would do to help yourself followed by “lmao”. You sound like you’d be a villain with your power, and that was not a great choice. I wish you’d taken it a little more seriously.

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

I like you entry a lot, maybe more so then Addicted’s. I mean it shows your personality really well, its specific about what you would do with your day, and I think its possible (as long as you target down where Rihanna specifically is since you would have to know that when your making this entry). Let’s assume she’s in your hometown since your cheating in class.

Originally posted by staracademy1990

The amount of “LMAO” you have though This is more of a selfish entry but the rawness and honesty make it for me. I love it.

Originally posted by Kitt

Although this is one of the powers on my own wishlist, it is something that is majority just used for personal gain and convenience. But I love that you were honest with that, especially when you stated that you'd take advantage of it by using it against your personal enemies. I could have appreciated some better formatting instead of just literally centering everything and adding two pics.

Originally posted by Dillon

The only good thing about this was the Skylar Grey promo. Other than that, I don't even want to tell you what I think.

Originally posted by ethan

You continue to impress me with your stellar formatting! Very creative and I love how it fit so perfectly with your power. The power itself is also really creative… I have never heard of anything like that, but there should totally be a show or something about someone who can do that! It has so much potential to help the world. I love how you broke it down between doing some great things for the world and enjoying it for yourself. You definitely are proving yourself in this competition, like any you’re involved in, and I hope that in future rounds, you will keep up the great work! Thank you.

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

It’s a simple idea, write something and make it come to life. Its cute I think its possible to do, especially give 15 tillion to the government (just give it to the post office or something). It was also cute how you would save some goodies for yourself at the end of it. Compared to some of your peers, your entry could have a bit more detail, like for me its great, but it can use some more of an execution to make it the best entry. Cool graphics

Originally posted by staracademy1990

Great presentation, great superpower. I have nothing negative to say, but maybe a little colour to bring it to life?

Originally posted by Kitt

What kind of random ass power Strange, but very unique. What would happen though if you were in an emergency and had no pen and paper around? The thought of you scurrying around for some ink and parchment is hilarious. However, I'm sure some chalk or writing something in the sand with a stick would count. Your entry description however is really short, I'm not fooled by the big font, but your creative presentation helps make up for it.

Originally posted by Dillon

I was going to give this an 8.5 but the whole Drawn to Life title and using a paper as your entry was just too cute. This was nice and it gave me SpongeBob teas. You made it about everyone else instead of just you but you were realistic in saying you would use it for yourself at times as well. You didn't ******** us saying it would never be used to benefit you. Nice.

Originally posted by ethan

I love how you set up the entry, like an example of how you would use the power and the good it could do. I loved the song you chose for it and the power itself. It’s very selfless of you to choose that, and I really liked that! Very creative write up and I liked the dark formatting a lot as well. It feels very “you”, and I hope that in future rounds, you will continue to shape your entries to fit within your personality because it really helps you stand out! Great job, you took a non-traditional approach and I think it really paid off!

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

I know you were saying this was negative, but I liked as a person what you would do with your power. I did feel like we got that answer generally from your last paragraph, so your actions were general but not specific past the one example you provided. But I do like the graphics.

Originally posted by staracademy1990

Nothing means more to me than making others happy too, but I don’t get what your power is? You snap your fingers and their attitude change? What do you call it? What’s “fire” has to do with it? Great layout though.

Originally posted by Kitt

I'm really really impressed and appreciative of you implementing a story instead of just simply describing the power and it's uses. But I admit, at the third paragraph, I though the super power was going to be something to do with fire and you were describing the events that triggered the woman to find and develop her power. I would've been so here for that.

"nothing would make me happier than making others happy." kii

Originally posted by Dillon

I like the storyline. I guess since we were going with superpowers, saying you can make others happy doesn't really make it seem like much of a super power. It's definitely a B entry because nothing is bad about it but I can't find anything that makes it top notch.

Originally posted by ethan

Really nice entry. I love the picture you made, every little image that made it up had something to do with time and I think it looked really nice. I think you picked a great power! Time traveling is something with unlimited potential and I could totally see a comic or tv show based on a time traveling superhero and his adventures. I like that you balanced your day between taking advantage of your power and using it to help the world. The last paragraph was very sweet. I know exaclty what you mean by it, and to me, that would be the biggest benefit of being able to time travel. I wish you’d gone into more detail about what you would have done as far as saving people, that’s the only reason I ended up docking you. We got a wonderful paragraph about all the adventures you would go on for shits and giggles and then when it came time to the saving the world part, it was all just general. It would have been nice to know who you’d be saving! In future entries, I hope you will keep up the creativity and continue to show your personality and humor in you entries. Great job man!

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

Your Time Travel Entry, Now when judging this I’m thinking even with this power, you are going to have to attend to the events when your traveling within a 24 hour timing period (which will not change even if you go visit different times). Anyway I liked what you took from the challenge in remembering you have only 24 hours to time travel. You made specifics about what you would do (not a lengthy list which was good), and the last part was nice for you personally. I can really tell what you were going to do with your power and why.

Originally posted by staracademy1990

Love the banner!! Loved reading your entry and you had me wanting to travel back with you as well. Another great entry, keep it up!!

Originally posted by Kitt

I love that you focused on the timeline of your day while having this power. Not many of the other contestants did that. And nice header! Is that superhero guy supposed to look like you? Do you have green/blue eyes?

Originally posted by Dillon

A Viagra commercial came on while I was looking at your entry and it made total sense. You used the power for good and not to like change the past which is nice. All your reasoning makes sense and you went straight to the point instead of giving us a history lesson in between topics. Good.

Originally posted by ethan

My favorite entry from you so far, how creative and original! It borders fan fiction a little towards the end, but it was very cute. I really appreciate the banner and the gifs you chose, I think they made the entry much more interesting, and I think that power could do a lot of good! You’d need to spend a lot of time in the South helping them see the light. Great job, I hope you continue this creativity and humor. That’s your strength! Great job.

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

I’m not exactly sure what your superpower was when I first read your entry, which now I’m thinking is the superpower of being the protector of the LGBT? I get this from not only your Drag racing references, but also turning Dylan O’Brien gay and making your personal fantasy come true. I wish it was more specific that that was your power, but it really did reflect your personality well.

Originally posted by staracademy1990

Rainbow Gal!! I mean your beginning was flawless, but then the Dylan mess kicked in. I was reading and thinking “WHY?” Props for actually creating a super hero name

Originally posted by Kitt

OMG. Not you sticking to your brand harder than me. I had to read the second part over again though because it felt like you decided to just focus on queening over Dylan for *****, giggles, and bonus points instead of really incorporating your power into it. But then I read this part, and I loved it:


I'm happy that Rainbow Gal found love for haself now.

Originally posted by Dillon

This totally made my life worth living again and the only reason you're getting this score is because it was so bad it was good. But c'mon, I can't give you a good score with a rainbow gal alter ego super power. It was an enjoyable read though.

Originally posted by ethan

Man, you really stepped up the formatting! I love it! You’re staying true to yourself with the Nicki pictures but it also fits perfectly for this challenge. The power you chose is great, but you really just focused on making it about what it could do for you. It was a little lacking in content; I wish you’d talked about how you could help the world. However, I know that it’d be hard to have that power without doing some things for yourself, so I can totally understand why you’d do those things. I just wish you’d talked a little more about what you would do for others! In future rounds, I hope you’ll keep up with the unique formatting and work on being a little more thorough in your entries.

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

You at least explained your super power well, but my issue was a lack of making some specifics about your time travel. The explanation was too general was my problem. I do like your incorporation of Nicki’s superpower costume tho, which is ironic we got a challenge in that can do this On my last note, I did like your optimism for your education for your time travel.

Originally posted by staracademy1990

You entry was lacking a little for me. I wanted a little more explanation. Cute layout!

Originally posted by Kitt

You and DICK basically chose the same power, but unfortunately his entry has overshadowed yours. It's just a really watered down version of Addicted's.

Originally posted by Dillon

You really got overshadowed by the other contestant who used Time Travel. I loved the Nicki flying picture. But other than that, it was really basic. Nothing we didn't already know.

Originally posted by ethan

Once again, great formatting. It looks very clean and was not overdone, which I really like. You chose a great power, and I like that you distinguished yourself from the others that chose it by really going into depth about what you’d do and why you chose those. It focused too much on what you’d do to help yourself, but as I mentioned in ririfan’s critique, I know that it’d be pretty hard to have that power without enjoying it for yourself. In the future, I hope you will keep up your strong entries and continue to include more and more of your personality in the entries.

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

I thank you for being specific about your time travel and what exactly you would do. It sounded as though you did have enough time to go to the events within the amount of time you were given, and I like the last sentence, as your seeking for an experience for you day.

Originally posted by staracademy1990

I love it! It was personal, well explained, and well organized. I would LOVE to go back to the 20s that is simply my favorite era of time.

Originally posted by Kitt

Another time travel power, but I love that you focused on going back only and loved that you made it so personal. If anything else though, I'd want to incorporate invincibility somehow because you might run into some scurry **** in some of your back travels

Originally posted by Dillon

I think Addicted wins in the Time Travel entries but you're a close 2nd. Time Travel was one of the more basic super powers to choose from but you made something out of it. I enjoyed reading your entry. You're such a cute little hipster.

Originally posted by ethan

Man, you did a great job! Very creative entry. I loved all the pictures you made! It all felt very cohesive and was written very well, it was really entertaining! On Earth, that power wouldn’t be very good, but the way you set it up on the planet Eh and the fact that the power is all about helping other people made me like it a lot. The gadgets were a nice touch, it helped show how he does what he does. I hope in future entries, you will continue to show this creative side and bring your humor and charisma to create entertaining entries!

Originally posted by TheResonantZune

so when judging this I will assume you were Pris-Man seeing as the entry didn't have a personal touch but only through Pris-Man. Bringing color to anything, not just colors, sounds cute. So I guess what I'm confused about is besides explaining your power and assuming what you would do with it for a day, which the latter wasn't reflected specifically, what is it your going to apply this power I mean are you going to basic planets and giving them power for a day? That's what it sounds like. That wasn't specific for me. Anyway I'm not marking you down because the original deadline and planned deadline mix up.

Originally posted by staracademy1990

I’m giving you a 10 not because your superpower is great, but because the entry as whole from the creativity, colours, originality, concept and execution deserve it. I do agree with your statement that colours do make things better. That was my issue with couple of entries from this round. Great job.

Originally posted by Kitt

Did you make those doodles?!

Really really great job. I loved that you made up and mentioned his super power tools, they were hilarious. I think yours may be ones of my personal favorites.

Originally posted by Dillon

I can tell you tried to be creative but it didn't really work for me. The effects of the super hero were irrelevant and cheesy. It was like a bowl if Kraft Macaroni & Cheese if that helps you understand. Better luck next time...if there is one.