Hi,
I do a lot of singing - but have never done an original song. The oppourtunity has arose to write 2 songs with a guitarist from my school. I have concepts but need to put them into practice.

Here's some bits and pieces, please make some suggestions - whether it be hooks, verses or advice.

I don't want my songs to be generic. The second bit is a bit crap tho.

Bulletproof (Indie Rock)

Similar sound to Coldplay, Bastille etc...

I spent so long in self-destruct
Left myself prone to your attack
You could flick me like a switch
And I'd blow just like a bomb
But now I'll show you I'll resist
When things heat up, I can handle it

You be the trigger, and I'll be the target
Go on take a shot, is that the best you've got?
You'll never change me, break me, or shake me
Because I'm B-b-b-bulletproof

Take aim, open fire
Watch it fly, spin and backfire
I crawled the trenches
And jumped the fence...

Paint The Town Red: (EDM)

Similar sound to David Guetta, Calvin Harris.

This city never sleeps

We only getting brighter, and brighter, and brighter
Let's paint the town red!

Let me show you how to work it
Next level, let's revel
Girl just go and twerk it

I'm not a fan of how you rhymed work with twerk
also, the concept of "painting a town red" is really vague

that first song is qt tho

Forget about Paint the Town Red, nothing can save that.

Bulletproof on the other hand is amazing just go with the same vibe and work on your rhymes more. The first part doesn't rhyme that much. Use www.wikirhymer.com I use it when i'm stuck on my rhymes or when I need to fix the verses to rhyme more. if you said "I'd blow up like a bomb, when you flick me like a switch. I'll manage when things heat up, I'll show you that I can resist." it would be much better.

Keep on the good work and never continue Paint the Flop Red. Bulletproofus>>>>>>>>

Oh and the chorus of bulletproof is

Hmm.. they ain't really fluid yet
You should write a few more + the most pop songs (almost all of them ) are Repetitive ..btw there's a Songwriters thread tho

Songwriting Thread: http://atrl.net/?t=325564

Thanks guys! Paint The Town Red is HISTORY

I always liked Bulletproof, going to work on that - several versions to get it right.

Nait, can you work with me on this? Loving that verse, could I use it and work on it? I'll credit you.

Also Bulletproof is still being worked on. Writing a Middle 8

I would love to. I might have something by tonight.

Scratch the second one. Maybe pop songs aren't for you. The first one isn't bad. But remember for music most of the time it isn't really about the lyrics but the production. If it has a hook and a chorus that you can't get out of your head you have successfully written a good song.

do you have the actual music for this, or just the lyrics?

I say this because well.....for pop songs, lyrics come last.

Dead last.

What if you change the Title to Paint This Town


If we all stay flyin
And we all die tryin
Once we all have bled
We'll paint this town RED

^^^ first try at writing lol

Just listen to Katy Perry and Rihanna and Legendary Madonna,you will know soon.