They went in
10. Drake
There are so many rappers these days, and Aubrey Graham, better known as Drake, is just one of them. I like listening to rap and hip-hop, especially when it’s about a subject that intrigues me rather than self-indulgence and bragging, which is what a lot of modern hip-hop and rap is, but I find it very awkward listening to Drake.
He just doesn’t have a natural rhythm or flow to his lyrics that are easy on the ear, and his lyrics in general I find to be poor. One of his latest singles, ‘Started From The Bottom’ (just like every other rapper) is simply
one of the worst songs I have ever heard. It displays
minimal talent, and is a prime example of how unnatural of a rapper he is.
Redeeming Feature: Unlike many others in the music industry these days, Drake doesn’t rely too much on featuring in the gossip columns in order to gain publicity. He leads quite a private life, and has built his large fan base in Canada and America through his music, which is respectable.
9. The Black Keys
I felt compelled to include a rock act on this list. Rock music is in a dire state at the moment, and has been for the past decade. There is simply no new blood coming through and trying to do something different. Every band seems to be overly influenced by past bands.
Just like nearly all metal bands are overly influenced by Metallica, rock bands like The Black Keys are influenced by The Rolling Stones, The Who, Led Zeppelin etc.
Those are great bands to be influenced by, but the modern bands are not offering anything new.
They are just a not-as-good version of great older bands, so if I want to listen to some good rock music, I’ll listen to Zeppelin or the Stones rather than a band trying to do the same thing but 40 years later. Even on the first listen, I feel like I have heard the Black Keys’ songs before, because they are just bland and not interesting, and sound similar to past songs by other bands.
They once claimed that rock ‘n’ roll was dying because people became OK with Nickelback being the biggest band in the world, but in my opinion, it is because bands like The Black Keys are offering nothing new. If you want to listen to a good bit of heavy modern rock, which is hard to come by nowadays, then I have two words for you – Foo Fighters.
Redeeming Feature: Any rock band does well to get good exposure in this pop and dance dominated musical environment we currently live in, so credit has to go to the Black Keys for that. They do, like most bands, write all their own songs.
8. Jason Derulo
After Chris Brown hit Rihanna in the face back in 2009, there was suddenly a market for someone to step in and take his place. What about a guy who sounds and kind of looks a bit like Chris Brown?
Enter Jason Derulo. He is one of these singers where you think you don’t know any of his songs, until one of your friends convinces you that you do by playing some of thems, and you realise you do know some of his stuff, but only because it has been hammered out of the radio a million times and sound like a lot of other modern songs. You’d be forgiven for mistaking some of his songs for Chris Brown songs.
Redeeming Feature: He does co-write his songs, and I guess he can hold a tune.
7. Kesha
Sorry, I spelt her name wrong there. It’s actually meant to be written as “Ke$ha.” She has a dollar sign in her name instead of an ‘S’! How cool is that?
As I write this I am trying to remember some of her songs. All I can recall is that her songs are pretty much about nothing, and all I can hear in my head is her annoying accent and excessive use of auto-tune. Despite claiming her latest album would “resurrect” rock music, her first single from the album, “Die Young”, was just another overly-manufactured electro-pop effort.
Redeeming Feature: She does have co-writing credits on her songs, and her partying fun attitude is something that doesn’t hurt anyone. She also provides a good debate with male companions about whether she is worth “spending a night with” or not.
6. Jessie J
Not all of Jessie J’s music is particularly bad. It isn’t particularly good either. It’s OK, and that was fine for a while. However, like many other boyfriends across the UK, I find myself metaphorically chained to the sofa on Saturday nights at the moment in order to watch The Voice, a show which last series boosted the careers of the coaches far more than any of its contestants.
While I am pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoy the show, particularly Will.i.am’s comedic personality, I find Jessie J absolutely insufferable. Despite the contestants having just minutes in the spotlight in order to try and change their lives, Jessie J just cannot resist constantly trying to be the centre of attention, and somehow manages to deliver critiques which make her sound like she thinks of herself as some kind of musical goddess.
She’s not. Just because she performed with Queen at the closing ceremony of the Olympics last year, (which I am still reeling about), she’s not a musical goddess. There was a lot less stress on Saturday nights before I’d heard of Jessie J.
Redeeming Feature: As much as I hate to admit it, Jessie J can actually sing incredibly well. It’s just a shame she isn’t a bit more humble about her vocal talent.
5. Lady Gaga
Back in 2008, Lady Gaga was huge. Her music was cool and edgy, and her fashion style was unique.
Then people started to think, “wait, haven’t we seen this before? Oh yeah, that’s right… Madonna.” Then Lady Gaga released her first single, “Born This Way”, from her highly anticipated second album, and
people realised they had heard that song before – “Express Yourself” by Madonna.
Her second album was a lot safer and middle-of-the-road than her debut album; meanwhile, Gaga’s fashion sense got crazier and wackier, but
people didn’t really care about that anymore. Gaga has made it no secret that she is
heavily influenced by David Bowie, not just musically but stylistically too.
But David Bowie’s style was incorporated into his music, which offered something completely original at the time. Lady Gaga’s style has nothing to do with her music, a
nd is nothing more than seeking attention for publicity. As original as Lady Gaga
seemed when she first hit the scene,
we have learnt that she is merely copying Madonna’s early strategy for fame.
Redeeming Feature: Underneath all the clothing and make up, there is actually some talent in Lady Gaga. I have seen her do a few low-key performances with just her and a piano, and it is actually quite impressive. She is also quite heavily involved with the writing of her songs. Her next album will likely decide how successful the rest of her career will be.
4. Pitbull
I have no idea how Pitbull managed to get signed to a label. Out of all the rappers sending out their mix tapes in every direction, how did Pitbull’s get singled out? Well, it did. And since releasing his debut album, “M.I.A.M.I”, in 2004, his career has grown from moderate success in the US to global recognition.
When I imagine a world where Pitbull never made his impression on the music industry, I just imagine all of his features on other people’s songs are rapped by Flo Rida instead.
Redeeming Feature: He may well be the first short, bald, white Hispanic guy to carve out a career in rap music. His work ethic isn’t to be questioned either – in 2010 alone, he was a featured performer on 14 songs by other people.
3. Nicki Minaj
Another of Lil’ Wayne’s signings to his label, Young Money, Nicki Minaj is known for her ballsy lyrics and variety of accents. She has managed to build up a fan base mainly consisting of teenage girls, due to her independent image which includes wearing colourful and bizarre costumes, which I am sure she wears for attention due to her insecurity about her lack of showmanship.
As for her lyrics, it sounds like she makes them up on the spot while recording. They include “Just the other day mi go London, saw dat, kids down Hyde street, Paparazzi, all dat, Hey hey what can I say? Day day day da-day da-day day” and “It’s that New Orleans, it’s LA or The Bay, It’s New York, Philly, and the whole DMV” Does that even rhyme?
She is also incredibly fake – fake hair, fake boobs, fake ass, and a whole ton of makeup. So girls, if you’re willing to spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery all over your body, and wear enough make up to look like a Barbie doll, all you need are some lyrics that make no sense, and you could be a rap star too!
Redeeming Feature: There is no denying that this strategy is working for her – she has recently become the most-charted female rapper ever on the Billboard Hot 100, and her song, Super Bass, is one of the best-selling singles of all time in the U.S. It seems like she has enough fans to be around for a while yet.
2. Rita Ora
I don’t really have anything against Rita Ora; it’s just that the world already has Rihanna, so why do we need a British clone of her? She offers absolutely nothing new to music. Like other females on this list, she strives for attention with her fashion sense, and despite claiming in an interview that she “usually doesn’t take songs from other people”, she has just one song that she co-wrote with 4 others on her debut album, “Ora.” That doesn’t include her number 1 UK hit, “How We Do”, which has a massive 12 writers credited to it.
Like I said before, I don’t have anything against her; it’s just that I believe thousands of other girls could do her job just as well, and that she looks like Rihanna – which will bring me nicely to number one on this list.
Redeeming Feature:
She can actually sing better than Rihanna, but that’s not saying much.
1. Rihanna
In my eyes, Rihanna represents everything that is wrong in today’s music industry. She has manufactured meaningless songs written for her by teams of writers, she desperately grabs for publicity with non-music related stories, she sexualises the hell out of everything she does in order to sell her music, and most importantly, she is not a good singer.
I make absolutely no effort to listen to her songs or hear about her personal life, yet I find myself familiar with a lot of her music, and am usually semi-up to date about her relationship status with Chris Brown, due to the media’s endless bombarding streaming of her music and gossip surrounding her. To me, she proves that if you throw enough money into marketing anybody and make them dress like a stripper, even someone with a nasally singing tone, then they can be commercially successful.
Redeeming Feature: I guess being thrust into the spotlight at the young age of 16 is going to take its toll on most people in later years. Perhaps this meant she was never fully able to grow up, which would explain why she immaturely posts pictures of herself taking drugs on the internet. I knew people who did that kind of thing when they were 15. It’s not big, and it’s not cool. It’s actually incredibly lame.
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