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Discussion: How to overcome rejection?
Member Since: 8/3/2010
Posts: 71,871
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How to overcome rejection?
So this actually happened earlier. I'm a big tennis player and I liked this girl on my team who also plays tennis. Besides that, we have a lot in common (we both love video games, spent a week in Florida together, both love to tell sex jokes, etc.) and I thought (and still kinda think) she likes me somewhat. I asked her out today, and she said that she doesn't want a boyfriend. She told me she goes on dates, but she doesn't want to go steady. I asked her why, and she said the last time she had a boyfriend was in high school and after they broke up she was done (she didn't tell me any extra details beyond this). Does that mean that it's over for me to even try to proceed or should I try to get her to warm up to the idea of having a boyfriend.
I'm not 100% sure if she likes me or whatever but she always seems happier around me so it's a possibility. I don't think the door has closed for me (yet) but if it did, I definitely DON'T want to be a creeper and keep trying if it's useless
If it's a red light for me, how would I move on from this? I mean I'm not emotionally hurt at all, I just don't feel confident after this 
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Member Since: 8/28/2012
Posts: 10,506
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Lol, that girl isn't over her ex boy toy. Looks like it's nothing to do you with you really. But good luck in getting out of the Friend Zone 
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Member Since: 8/3/2010
Posts: 71,871
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mhs90
Lol, that girl isn't over her ex boy toy. Looks like it's nothing to do you with you really. But good luck in getting out of the Friend Zone |
Ugh that's the second time someone has said that. Am I really in the friend zone? I mean I've known her since January so I don't think it was THAT long but...ugh
And if that's the case then I don't see anything much I can do, I guess it's just bad timing imo
But here's the thing. She hasn't dated since high school (so at least 18, my age) and she's a senior in college (22) so how in the world is she doing it? Like...the no sex part?  .
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Member Since: 9/22/2011
Posts: 9,178
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The only thing you can do is respect her decision to not go forward with a relationship and move on. We've all been there (or worse) your bruised confidence will heal.
You may not see it this way but she's doing you a favor by rejecting your advances outright, rather than leading you on.
Edit:
And let's not talk about the friend zone. No girl is under any obligation to do or be anything for you just because you're friendly to her. Expecting any more from a person who has already drawn the line is a douchy thing to do.
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Member Since: 9/16/2011
Posts: 6,130
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I just think that rejection is part of the process for about everything.
Giving up certifies that you fail. When you try, you're one step closer to getting whatever it is that you want.
And think about it. Although it's cliche, she's ONE person. Out of a gigantic world population.
Again, cliche, but sometimes things don't work out so that better things can fall into place. When I met my boyfriend it was literally like the stars aligned. I believe that you'll find someone when it's meant to be, but it's important to never stop trying, even if you have to pursue someone else.
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Member Since: 1/3/2010
Posts: 21,098
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Well, I tell people this all the time and it's a lie. I was told this with a variation, "You live too far away." 8 miles is about 15 minutes the last time I checked.
Anyway, she's either lying because she's not all that into you, or she has her eyes on someone else.
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Member Since: 8/3/2010
Posts: 71,871
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Quote:
Originally posted by Midnight
Well, I tell people this all the time and it's a lie. I was told this with a variation, "You live too far away." 8 miles is about 15 minutes the last time I checked.
Anyway, she's either lying because she's not all that into you, or she has her eyes on someone else.
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Eh...it may be both. It's true she hasn't dated in years or wants a boyfriend (confirmed from a few close friends) but she may not be into me...and/or she may like someone else. The cues to me though, it could be her just being really nice to me.
Ain't nobody got time foh dat, girls are complicated creatures 
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Member Since: 8/26/2012
Posts: 3,733
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Quote:
Originally posted by RatedG²
So this actually happened earlier. I'm a big tennis player and I liked this girl on my team who also plays tennis. Besides that, we have a lot in common (we both love video games, spent a week in Florida together, both love to tell sex jokes, etc.) and I thought (and still kinda think) she likes me somewhat. I asked her out today, and she said that she doesn't want a boyfriend. She told me she goes on dates, but she doesn't want to go steady. I asked her why, and she said the last time she had a boyfriend was in high school and after they broke up she was done (she didn't tell me any extra details beyond this). Does that mean that it's over for me to even try to proceed or should I try to get her to warm up to the idea of having a boyfriend.
I'm not 100% sure if she likes me or whatever but she always seems happier around me so it's a possibility. I don't think the door has closed for me (yet) but if it did, I definitely DON'T want to be a creeper and keep trying if it's useless
If it's a red light for me, how would I move on from this? I mean I'm not emotionally hurt at all, I just don't feel confident after this |
waiT...
http://atrl.net/forums/blog.php?b=11162
http://atrl.net/forums/blog.php?b=9970
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Member Since: 8/3/2010
Posts: 71,871
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Quote:
Originally posted by Akil
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Bisexual 
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Member Since: 7/3/2010
Posts: 5,788
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Rejection suuuckss, but the best way to move on is to separate and put your mind elsewhere. Get into the mentality that everything happens for a reason and leads to the next thing. Although it didn't work out for you two (which I'm not sure it hasn't, maybe she really wants to take it slow) - you guys both learned from it and it'll help in the future..
But in all honesty your entire situation reminds me of what happened to me and this guy...And after he played the same card you did, I kinda flipped out and did immature stuff which lead to me not talking to him at all. Just make sure you stay mature and yourself through everything and don't do anything you'd regret. I don't know if you would but I did and it's something I wish I didn't do till this day. When someone doesn't want you, your ego makes you do dumb things, don't let that happen!
I would say wait it out a little bit more, don't act like it's all you want from the person but when you hang out with them know it's something that you want. After a couple of more times you'll know where she really is at. Right now we are both guessing...
Hope everything works out though, again, rejection hurts lol, but we all go through it..
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Member Since: 9/16/2011
Posts: 6,130
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Quote:
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OK so this is a continuation from my last blog (which was about me swallowing my roommates underwear) ---
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 ................mmmmm BYE!
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Member Since: 1/3/2010
Posts: 21,098
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ice Cream Skies
................mmmmm BYE!
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Where's that from?
EDIT:
I see.... Leave him alone, tho. 
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Member Since: 8/3/2010
Posts: 71,871
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Quote:
Originally posted by Midnight
Where's that from?
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You don't wanna know
Quote:
Originally posted by KanYe!
Rejection suuuckss, but the best way to move on is to separate and put your mind elsewhere. Get into the mentality that everything happens for a reason and leads to the next thing. Although it didn't work out for you two (which I'm not sure it hasn't, maybe she really wants to take it slow) - you guys both learned from it and it'll help in the future..
But in all honesty your entire situation reminds me of what happened to me and this guy...And after he played the same card you did, I kinda flipped out and did immature stuff which lead to me not talking to him at all. Just make sure you stay mature and yourself through everything and don't do anything you'd regret. I don't know if you would but I did and it's something I wish I didn't do till this day. When someone doesn't want you, your ego makes you do dumb things, don't let that happen!
I would say wait it out a little bit more, don't act like it's all you want from the person but when you hang out with them know it's something that you want. After a couple of more times you'll know where she really is at. Right now we are both guessing...
Hope everything works out though, again, rejection hurts lol, but we all go through it..
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Thanks, this is very much helpful  . I'll see where she stands with me soon and if it becomes too obvious she isn't into me then I'll move on. If I think otherwise I still may have to move on because she doesn't want a boyfriend 
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Member Since: 7/3/2010
Posts: 5,788
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Quote:
Originally posted by RatedG²
Thanks, this is very much helpful . I'll see where she stands with me soon and if it becomes too obvious she isn't into me then I'll move on. If I think otherwise I still may have to move on because she doesn't want a boyfriend |
Coming from a girl we never say we 'want' boyfriends to guys (unless we're that desperate lol), so don't let that discourage you too much. We are always looking for that guy to prove us wrong. Also don't kill yourself thinking about whether or not she likes you or not or if she was just being nice to you and let you down easy, etc..That'll drive you crazy!
But it seems like you know what you're doing so good luck to you! 
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Member Since: 4/7/2012
Posts: 10,174
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All I want to say is don't let this knock your confidence down
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Member Since: 8/3/2010
Posts: 71,871
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Thank you everyone, especially the girls who gave me another look at things. I'll try some things in the next week and will probably update in a blog if anyone cares, but I'm sure no one really cares unless it's gay or p0rn relatd
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