Now Kelly meets with the magazine staff. There's no muddy river flowing through the YM offices, so she might have to try something different. One of the gals at YM, either the "Beauty Editor" or the "VP of Beauty" or whatever, says that Kelly has, "Girl next door tendencies." Huh? What does that mean? That she likes to bake pies and let them cool on the windowsill? And the woman said the comment like it was criticism. I don't get it. I guess this is why I don't read YM. And also because I don't care what Devon Sawa named his dog.
Buckle up, West Hollywood, it's raining men, says Dunkleman. He is scorching tonight! Finally. For those of you not in the know, West Hollywood is one of the largest gay communities in the country. Not a joke, just information.
Kelly is very energetic, as always. I like her Old West outfit too. Madame Kelly Clarkson, you might say. If she had a garter on her thigh right now, she'd be all set. http://www.americanidol.com/archive/...1/20020820.php
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And now Brian gets the only honest laugh he has elicited from me since the show started. He introduces Kelly (Eeeeeee!) by saying, "Buckle up, West Hollywood! Singing 'It's Raining Men,' it's Kelly Clarkson!" Kelly (Eeeeeee!) heads out to the stage wearing a cute black-denim pantsuit. Disappointingly, there are no male strippers. And what is the deal with the song choice? Did "It's Raining Men" even ever make it on the charts? I thought the song was released directly into the DJ booths for Chippendales clubs and gay bars.
Just like Tamyra, Kelly (Eeeeeee!) has some serious energy problems in her song, probably for the same reason. And again, this song's got so much cheesy baggage that it simply can't be taken seriously. She sounds okay, but can't get her voice up enough for some of the notes and just isn't as solid as she normally is. She doesn't really work the stage well -- she just sort of paces around The Octagon during the song. Overall, a sort of blah performance. And again, no male strippers. http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com...all.php?page=6
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Kelly Clarkson, "It's Raining Men" - There's no reason in the world why Kelly should have had to perform this dinosaur. She seemed like someone made her do it. She wasn't into at all. But, a half-assed Kelly is better than Jennifer Lopez 365 days a year.
Reality News Online
What the critics thought:
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Kelly comes out wearing a $9 million necklace from Harry Winston of Beverly Hills. Or maybe it's fake. She has a nice, black ****tail dress on. I'd feel pretty comfortable with her on my arm at a swanky dinner party. And, of course, she'd feel awkward with her goofy date who never shuts up, and doesn't own a sportcoat that matches any of his pants.
We get yet another powerful performance from Kelly. She's completely in command of her voice and notes. I'm tired of people saying Kelly will just be a country singer. Why limit her? There's no style of music she can't handle. She's the exact opposite of me. In many ways.
Somebody runs up to the stage and gives Kelly a teddy bear in cowboy clothes. I quickly dub the fuzzy little guy Roy Rogbears. I'm so cute and clever!
Randy and Paula loved Kelly's performance. Simon is blown away. He thinks she's up there with Celine and Mariah. So maybe Kelly will marry her 65-year old business manager. Or maybe the head of a record company. http://www.americanidol.com/archive/...1/20020820.php
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Kelly (Eeeeeee!) has changed into an elegant ****tail dress -- black, of course. Whether or not Celine is the original singer of "I Surrender," Kelly (Eeeeeee!) has definitely modeled her performance on hers anyhow. She wails the song and holds out notes forever. The sore throat affects her performance as well, but it's harder to notice on Kelly (Eeeeeee!) than on Tamyra because Kelly's already got a fairly husky voice. But when she holds out the word "surrender" (for about five seconds, it sounds like), there's a brief moment where it sounded like her voice was about to give entirely and render her mute. She also looks rather terrified for some reason, like she knows that there's a chance her throat is going to explode mid-performance. But it doesn't, and she pulls the song off. The audience goes nuts as a woman runs up to the stage and gives Kelly (Eeeeeee!) an adorable little teddy bear dressed like a cowboy. Awww. Kelly (Eeeeeee!) mouths to the audience that the woman is her best friend.
Kelly (Eeeeeee!) heads up to Black and Decker, who bring up Kelly's throat issues again. Kelly (Eeeeeee!) points out that it's not just her; Tamyra is having problems as well. Then she goes out of her way to point out how awesome Nikki's performances were tonight. Aw, she's so sweeeeet. Doncha just love her! Admit it -- you do! Don't make me have to put you in a headlock. Then she explains that the bear came from her best friend, Jessica, who was the one who signed her up for the competition in the first place. See, my friends would have signed me up for American Idol to try to embarrass me. Black and Decker give the blah blah blah votecakes. http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com...ll.php?page=10
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Kelly Clarkson, "Surrender" - Wow. An absolutely star-making performance for Kelly. Yet, another blockbuster. Her command of the audience is the thing that is never mentioned. Notice, there is never hollering when Kelly sings, she demands that you listen. And you should thank her.
Reality News Online
It doesn't matter time or place
Chains and whips, metal, leather, lace
It doesn't matter who you are
You know its coming when we hit the bar
Now lay on you back, while I get busy walking
Ahead of our time while you were busy watching
Everybody wants to be a lonestar, a hero
But masochism has it all!
So get down on your knees (tied up, tied up)
Now if you wanna scream (tied up, tied up)
I'm turning up the heat (tied up, tied up)
Now let me hear you sing (tied up, tied up)
I wanna dominate you, baby
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna dominate you, baby
I wanna be, I wanna be
(Tied up, tied up. Tied up, tied up)
It doesn't matter where we play
When I'm this drunk I get a little gay...
It doesn't matter how we do it
I came, you saw, we conquered what you couldn't
Now lay on you back, while I get busy walking
Ahead of our time while you were busy watching
Everybody wants to be a lonestar, a hero
But masochism has it all!
So get down on your knees (tied up, tied up)
Now if you wanna scream (tied up, tied up)
I'm turning up the heat (tied up, tied up)
Now let me hear you sing (tied up, tied up)
I wanna dominate you, baby
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna dominate you, baby
I wanna be, I wanna be
I want you on your knees, so if you want it, scream
It's been 10 months since her album came out. 
I got it a month later though since my "pre-order" arrived later.
