i would love to flirt with other people and stuff, but like it's my body type that holds me back. i'm naturally a skinny person and no matter how hard i try with my work outs and stuff i never see any satisfying results.

The hardest thing for me, especially being closeted, is the stereotype that all gay guys are flamboyant sissies. That's actually why I think my mom doesn't want me to be gay, she thinks I will turn out like that. Which isn't even true. I'm the exact opposite. I'm not saying I'm 100% masc because that's definitely not true, I serve too much diva attitude for that. But I'm chill, laid back, and I wear guys clothing. That stereotype is the hardest. So many incidents happened because of this.

Me too. It's not even my parents who keep asking me though. It's relatives, like cousins, aunts, uncles etc.. Like get the **** out of my business. And then they want to give me advice on how to get a girl and I'm just thinking "Shut the **** up". It's really lonely and horrible. I'm honestly terrified of coming out, not even because of my parents. My mom has a big mouth and loves to share everything, I'm terrified of the outside reaction. :

At first this mattered but I think my dad will be okay. And my mom well she will deal.

Being closeted I think. lol See I don't really care what anyone think but I actually do care. I know that doesn't even make sense but maybe you get me. It's a bit irritating tho, for example we're eating and I say I could eat it for days and my dad says "well then you'll have to find you a nice girl who can cook very well" and I just smile. However my mom won't have any problems with it I think, I remember she once said "I can't wait what kind of girl you will bring home.. or a boy". Luckily I'm black and you can't really see when I'm blushing. But yeah once it's all out, they'll have to deal.

Being attracted to straight dudes.
Loneliness as you get older.

The sexual awkwardness around straight people can be unbearable at times. Especially being closeted.

I walked into a lecture the other day and a friend who I happen to be attracted to greeted me with "hey sexy". It threw me off so much I couldn't look at him all day.

Knowing that I can't have it. That I can't even tell him I want it.

Aaaah.. Who is your fave?

This so much

Plus being attracted to only masculine guys which means the majority of them are straight

You did not just quote yourself..

Having to douche. Some of the spontaneity of hetereosexual sex is lost in translation when it's two men, for obvious reasons.

I LOVE YOU.