I realise it would be easier to reach you on Twitter but, hey, I'm a girl who occasionally likes to express herself in more than 140 characters. And I happen to know you applaud freedom of expression.
You might remember we met last July when you were out here for that amazing Sydney Monster Hall performance. You don't? That's OK, I think you had about eight chats in a row that day so it's tough to keep track of who's who.
I also spoke to you during your first ever promo tour of Australia almost four years ago when we were the first country to get Just Dance to No.1. In the Sydney Hilton Hotel? Not ringing any bells?
Well, I must say you have been delightful and intriguing company on all occasions.
The folks back at the office marvelled at the fact you changed outfits for each interview leading up to Monster Hall gig, posed for photos and managed to keep the schedule from blowing out by hours.
Superstars just don't do that kind of thing. They simply can't be bothered continuing any kind of relationship with the people who supported them on the way up.
Here at The Daily Telegraph, we have maintained our faith in you being the exception to the rule. You even let us do the exclusive announcement of the Australian dates of your Born This Way tour back in February. So you can understand why we want to know why you don't love us any more, Gaga.
Your Little Media Monsters are sad.
What did we do that was so terrible you would ban us from taking a photo at your Australian concerts?
Why have you decided to allow only one agency photographer into your shows to take photos that will be approved by your publicist and then sent out to everybody?
The world would be a truly boring place if the only photos that were published in print or digital media were exactly the same. It seems an odd position for a woman like yourself to take, an artist whose whole philosophy and aesthetic is underpinned by the celebration of the unique, the different, the monster in all of us. Such a policy appears to be even more confusing when measured against the fearlessness that you display in your communications with the world.
What woman would ever post a photo of herself in bed with a "clonker" and liberally applied red lipstick as you did the other day from your Brisbane hotel room? No one except Gaga, I say!
The only conclusion I can come to is that decision is not yours, that someone in the Haus Of Gaga thinks they are acting in your best interests by stifling the creative expression of photographers.
So I am appealing to the artist within Gaga, the woman who has championed freedom of expression, who has changed the face of pop music and made it fun again.
Please let us take your photo. I promise it will be a good one.
The only conclusion I can come to is that decision is not yours, that someone in the Haus Of Gaga thinks they are acting in your best interests by stifling the creative expression of photographers.
You're all missing the point. They're just pointing out how something has changed for the worse in the Haus Of Gaga which we all know is true with people like Dada, Laurianne etc leaving. This is someone who's known Gaga from the beginning and even they can recognise it.
It's called professional journalism.
