[Obsession]

This is a song about a guy I'm in love with - I knew it was going to happen and I knew it was going to be heartbreak, but I couldn't really fight against it tbh. So the result is this song, which might sound very depressing too - it's clear I've been going through a lot of issues and working things out but it's kind of me wondering if me being in love with him isn't just as damaging, I guess.

Kaleidoscope

I know I know better
I let myself fall into you anyway
So now that I’m cracking
I find I only have myself to blame

Trying not to be obvious
Hoping you don’t see I’m falling apart
I really want us to be friends
But my heart is making it seem like we should not

Do you really not notice that I’ve fallen?
I can’t get up

I felt my heart shatter
I knew it would break
I pretended like it didn’t matter
But I won’t be the same
You were the color in my day
Now all I see are shades of grey
In my kaleidoscope
(But I’ll be missing you tonight)

I knew from day one
You’re a beacon of light
And my world is darkening
Easy to figure me out
I’m a moth to your flame
But your flame is smoldering

I can’t gather myself
I’m weak from your presence
You’re in all of my dreams
You’ve taken over my spirit

I felt my heart shatter
I knew it would break
I pretended like it didn’t matter
But I won’t be the same
You were the color in my day
Now all I see are shades of grey
In my kaleidoscope
(But I’ll be missing you tonight)

You were the one that saved me
But I find I’ve submitted myself to another death
You gave me breath when I was drowning
But I find in the end I’ve only switched the ocean

So now my heart has shattered
I can’t be surprised
But I know where I’ll find the pieces
Lost in your eyes
You were the color in my day
Now all I see are shades of grey
In my kaleidoscope

But I find I’d rather see the grey
Than not see anything at all

[Jezang Looz]

Originally posted by Obsession

This is a song about a guy I'm in love with - I knew it was going to happen and I knew it was going to be heartbreak, but I couldn't really fight against it tbh. So the result is this song, which might sound very depressing too - it's clear I've been going through a lot of issues and working things out but it's kind of me wondering if me being in love with him isn't just as damaging, I guess.

Kaleidoscope

I know I know better
I let myself fall into you anyway
So now that I’m cracking
I find I only have myself to blame

Trying not to be obvious
Hoping you don’t see I’m falling apart
I really want us to be friends
But my heart is making it seem like we should not

Do you really not notice that I’ve fallen?
I can’t get up

I felt my heart shatter
I knew it would break
I pretended like it didn’t matter
But I won’t be the same
You were the color in my day
Now all I see are shades of grey
In my kaleidoscope
(But I’ll be missing you tonight)

I knew from day one
You’re a beacon of light
And my world is darkening
Easy to figure me out
I’m a moth to your flame
But your flame is smoldering

I can’t gather myself
I’m weak from your presence
You’re in all of my dreams
You’ve taken over my spirit

I felt my heart shatter
I knew it would break
I pretended like it didn’t matter
But I won’t be the same
You were the color in my day
Now all I see are shades of grey
In my kaleidoscope
(But I’ll be missing you tonight)

You were the one that saved me
But I find I’ve submitted myself to another death
You gave me breath when I was drowning
But I find in the end I’ve only switched the ocean

So now my heart has shattered
I can’t be surprised
But I know where I’ll find the pieces
Lost in your eyes
You were the color in my day
Now all I see are shades of grey
In my kaleidoscope

But I find I’d rather see the grey
Than not see anything at all

oh. my god...

I love you... like I'm scared These lyrics are SO good but maybe that's because I'm going through the same thing right now so it just makes complete sense to me. You are great at being descriptive and painting a story in a smooth way... every line transitions easily with the next one; I really like this.

I'm ****ing stanning. The only thing I would suggest is instead of 'You’re in all of my dreams/You’ve taken over my spirit' I probably would have said 'You’re in all of my dreams/You've taken over all of me' just because I think it flows better with dreams, but it depends on how you sing it... so I might have the wrong melody in mind. Either way good stuff!

[Obsession]

Originally posted by Jezang Looz

oh. my god...

I love you... like I'm scared These lyrics are SO good but maybe that's because I'm going through the same thing right now so it just makes complete sense to me. You are great at being descriptive and painting a story in a smooth way... every line transitions easily with the next one; I really like this.

I'm ****ing stanning. The only thing I would suggest is instead of 'You’re in all of my dreams/You’ve taken over my spirit' I probably would have said 'You’re in all of my dreams/You've taken over all of me' just because I think it flows better with dreams, but it depends on how you sing it... so I might have the wrong melody in mind. Either way good stuff!

This is SUCH a huge compliment to me. On the other hand, l feel tremendously sorry for you, if you are in the same place I am.

Being in love sucks.

[Jezang Looz]

Originally posted by Obsession

This is SUCH a huge compliment to me. On the other hand, l feel tremendously sorry for you, if you are in the same place I am.

Being in love sucks.

Yeah but it's ok, it is inspiring me to stay focused on my music and make something of myself, just to prove him wrong. And then when I'm famous I can smile everyday and laugh at him :P

But were you trying to become a professional songwriter? I'd love to see more of your stuff, I'm trying to eventually find a team to work with and get some material released irl!

[Obsession]

Originally posted by Jezang Looz

Yeah but it's ok, it is inspiring me to stay focused on my music and make something of myself, just to prove him wrong. And then when I'm famous I can smile everyday and laugh at him :P

But were you trying to become a professional songwriter? I'd love to see more of your stuff, I'm trying to eventually find a team to work with and get some material released irl!

I've always written songs but never really thought about basing my career on them? I'm trying to finish writing a novel so I mainly focus on that - but I write loads of songs, since they never take me more than five minutes at most

But if you wanna see more of my stuff, I don't mind at all!

[Jackson]

OK nait I'm ready

[LilyAllen]

Song Title: Pitch Black

When I first met you
I knew you were different
Introduced you to my crew
Took you in like no other

You showed me things
Id never seen
Like an angel with long wings
We were getting closer

Pre Chorus:

But now you've found another
Someone whos so clever
I had known him forever
But he must be better

Im now the bud
and hes the stud
My heart took a thud
My emotions formed a flood

Chorus:

But Now I gotta
Make it seem
Like everythings
Okay, Alright, Just fine, Perfection

Plaster on a smile
laugh like its no problem
when every single freakin day
its all thats on my mind.

He swept you up behind my back
He must just have everything I lack
The sky went blue, and the pitch black
The key to you, he made a hack

He swept you up behind my back
He must just have everything I lack
The sky went blue, and the pitch black
The key to you, he made a hack

Verse 2:

You understood me
You truly got who I was
Every talk filled me with glee
But now its not the same

Now the hope is taken away
From the one I put it trust
I guess that I gotta pay
For not showing the truth

Pre Chorus:

Now you've found another
Someone whos so clever
I had known him forever
But he must be better

Im now the bud
and hes the stud
My heart took a thud
My emotions formed a flood

Chorus:

Now I gotta
Make it seem
Like everythings
Okay, Alright, Just fine, Perfection

Plaster on a smile
laugh like its no problem
when every single freakin day
its all thats on my mind.

Now I gotta
Make it seem
Like everythings
Okay, Alright, Just fine, Perfection

Plaster on a smile
laugh like its no problem
when every single freakin day
its all thats on my mind.

He swept you up behind my back
He must just have everything I lack
The sky went blue, and the pitch black
The key to you, he made a hack

He swept you up behind my back
He must just have everything I lack
The sky went blue, and the pitch black
The key to you, he made a hack

Bridge:

[Instrumental]

Chorus:

Now I gotta
Make it seem
Like everythings
Okay, Alright, Just fine, Perfection

Plaster on a smile
laugh like its no problem
when every single freakin day
its all thats on my mind.

He swept you up behind my back
He must just have everything I lack
The sky went blue, and the pitch black
The key to you, he made a hack

He swept you up behind my back
He must just have everything I lack
The sky went blue, and the pitch black
The key to you, he made a hack

---------------------------


Suggestions are appreciated Yes, this is based off a personal experience

[Nait Phoenix]

The current season of Platinum Hit has officially come to a close. You can still comment on the thread for four weeks from now before it is closed. For those who don't know what Platinum Hit is, Platinum Hit was a one-season television show on Bravo hosted by Jewel that obviously didn't make the ground it needed to. But, here, on ATRL, it continues the short legacy as a songwriting competition where the best songwriters on this site battle against one another to become the next Platinum Hit Songwriter of ATRL!

Well, this season I was asked to host. It was so much fun, but I don't plan to be on ATRL for long so it would be impossible for me to host again… So, I plan on passing the torch, but I want to pass it to someone worthy of holding it. So, I had this idea: this honor is not only fun, it's work. In fact, it's just like a job, so what's a job without an interview? Below, there's going to be a host/judging application that will demonstrate whether you'd be a good candidate to be the next host of Platinum Hit. I don't want to give this job to anyone, but I do want to give it to someone fair, but strict, punctual, but lenient, and all-around a lover of songwriting. So where better to find my next host than here in the songwriting thread? I won't choose until about a month from now, but it's never too soon to get your application in!

I really hope to receive some dynamite entries. I want this game to continue and inspire the way it did this season. Do the songwriters on here proud!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

APPLICATION FOR HOST

1. Name (how you'd like to be referred to as) and how long you've been songwriting.

2. Why do you feel you would be a great host for this game?

3. Does life get in the way of you performing any duties on ATRL often?

4. Can you handle pressure well enough to continue the game?

5. Can you manage your time efficiently?

6. Can you communicate with your fellow judges effectively?

7. One sample of your songwriting (verse, chorus, hook, etc.)

8. Below is a song I wrote. Critique it the best you can. Don't hold back.

Losing Game

First Verse:
A light doesn’t have to be on
To realize you are already gone
No remnants or traces of care left behind
The sky doesn’t have to be clear
To see that my stars have all disappeared
And turn my world into the blackest night

Pre-Chorus:
‘Cause this is a losing game
We had never made it pass the frame
Love is a losing game
And I play the one who’s to blame

Chorus:
I never should’ve walked out that door
Told you I never want to see you anymore
Now I’m find it hard to scream, ‘cause it’s never easy
(Never say, never say, never say never)
I never ever should’ve made you cry
And prevented this star to ever shine
I only wish I had one more try again
But I never should’ve played to win

Second Verse:
A scar that runs blacker than coal
My last memory of you I can hold
I wish I had something more fitting to last
Now that I finally can see
The gifts of your love, what they meant to me
Now I only wish I can give them back

Pre-Chorus:
But this is a losing game
We had never made it pass the frame
Love is a losing game
And I play the one who’s to blame

Chorus:
I never should’ve walked out that door
Told you I never want to see you anymore
Now I’m find it hard to scream, ‘cause it’s never easy
(Never say, never say, never say never)
I never ever should’ve made you cry
And prevented this star to ever shine
I only wish I had one more try again
But I never should’ve played to win

9. If you were chosen, who would be your co-judges and why?

10. Would you rather compete than host/judge?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just PM me your responses. I don't want this to go unnoticed. This is a good opportunity, hosting, competing, judging, watching, whatever, so don't let it go to waste, please…

[Obsession]

Originally posted by Obsession

This is a song about a guy I'm in love with - I knew it was going to happen and I knew it was going to be heartbreak, but I couldn't really fight against it tbh. So the result is this song, which might sound very depressing too - it's clear I've been going through a lot of issues and working things out but it's kind of me wondering if me being in love with him isn't just as damaging, I guess.

Kaleidoscope

I know I know better
I let myself fall into you anyway
So now that I’m cracking
I find I only have myself to blame

Trying not to be obvious
Hoping you don’t see I’m falling apart
I really want us to be friends
But my heart is making it seem like we should not

Do you really not notice that I’ve fallen?
I can’t get up

I felt my heart shatter
I knew it would break
I pretended like it didn’t matter
But I won’t be the same
You were the color in my day
Now all I see are shades of grey
In my kaleidoscope
(But I’ll be missing you tonight)

I knew from day one
You’re a beacon of light
And my world is darkening
Easy to figure me out
I’m a moth to your flame
But your flame is smoldering

I can’t gather myself
I’m weak from your presence
You’re in all of my dreams
You’ve taken over my spirit

I felt my heart shatter
I knew it would break
I pretended like it didn’t matter
But I won’t be the same
You were the color in my day
Now all I see are shades of grey
In my kaleidoscope
(But I’ll be missing you tonight)

You were the one that saved me
But I find I’ve submitted myself to another death
You gave me breath when I was drowning
But I find in the end I’ve only switched the ocean

So now my heart has shattered
I can’t be surprised
But I know where I’ll find the pieces
Lost in your eyes
You were the color in my day
Now all I see are shades of grey
In my kaleidoscope

But I find I’d rather see the grey
Than not see anything at all

So I sang this one...I wanted to get a rough idea of what this sounded like actually sung, because I originally meant for the chorus to be a bit dancey. But I think it came out alright, so I thought maybe if anyone was interested, they'd like to hear the actual song as it sounds in my head (a bit, I'm not a fantastic singer).


https://soundcloud.com/adzant/kaleidoscope

[Obsession]

This one is just a fun, light song I wrote that came out a little dirtier than planned.

Candy

I heard that you been talking crap
Thought that I would help you out
Come clear up some misconceptions
It seems you think that I’m a slag
Now that really doesn’t hurt me
But where’d you come to that conclusion?

Right now, I’m single
Not dating anyone
I’m not even going out for fun
Fed up of trying to have a good time
Where’d you get that idea?
I wondered where it was from
But now I see I got it wrong

You’re slandering my name
Cuz you really want my candy
You heard they like the way it tastes
So you’re starving for my candy
Well, boy, first I need love
I need affection
And spreading rumors ain’t gonna help ya
So do yourself a favor
And stop slandering my candy
If you really want my candy

I never seen you try to come into my shop
But I guess that you’ve been outside
Nose to the window, looking on
I must admit I never thought
I didn’t consider you might want it
But babe, don’t worry
I don’t discriminate a lot

Lucky I’m single
And I’m down to have some fun
I was really settling for a break
But if you’re willing, I’m able
You’re kind of handsome
No, I’m not putting you on
But if you want to get it on

Stop slandering my name
If you really want my candy
You heard they like the way it tastes
So you’re starving for my candy
Well, boy, first I need love
I need affection
And spreading rumors ain’t gonna help ya
So do yourself a favor
And stop slandering my candy
If you really want my candy

I got lollipops, best in the whole town
I got caramels, salty kind just came in
You want my chocolate? Boy, just say the word
Can’t get vanilla yet but stay long enough, you’ll be the first

If you really want my candy
I know you want my candy

I’m screaming out your name
Cuz you’re taking all my candy
I know you like the way it tastes
So you’re starving for my candy
Well, boy, first give me love
Give me affection
And boy, I’ll let you try out every flavor
Just do yourself a favor
And stop slandering my candy
If you really want my candy

[Jackson]

This is the first song I've written since Platinum Hit ended. I wrote it yesterday and recorded today. I don't know why I rushed the piano so much at the beginning
Its been a while since I wrote a love ballad so I wrote one. Its also only like the 3rd song I've ever written thats longer than 5 minutes

Barcelona

VERSE 1
Somewhere across the sea
You’re lying in bed without me
With starlight in your eyes
I’m lost in the daylight
Your love echoes through my mind
Oh, what I’d do to touch your lips tonight
I still believe our love can unite
Under moonlight our lips will be locked tight
So from a distance I give you my life
While I cry inside

CHORUS
We’ll conquer the distance, the oceans, commotions
So my heart can rest with you
Until forever I’ll fight even better
Do all that a human can do
Oh, what I’d do to get lost in your eyes tonight

VERSE 2
Somewhere across the air
My love awakes without a care
As I dream of one embrace
And I when I gaze up at the moon
I know it glows over you too
Still, none of this I’d ever erase
Someday I will take you to see it all
We’ll roam the world in each other’s arms
But for tonight it’s only just a dream
Love to the extreme

CHORUS
We’ll conquer the distance, the oceans, commotions
So my heart can rest with you
Until forever I’ll fight even better
Do all that a human can do
Oh, what I’d do to get lost in your eyes tonight

BRIDGE
I’ve got a love in Barcelona
In the breeze, under the sun I
Dream of flying away
But even if for one day we’d be together
Happiness would last forever
Please can I fly away?

CHORUS
We’ll conquer the distance, the oceans, commotions
So my heart can rest with you
Until forever I’ll fight even better
Do all that a human can do
Oh, what I’d do to get lost in your eyes
Someday I will look into your eyes
Oh, what I’d do to get lost in your eyes
Tonight

https://soundcloud.com/jack-reid-30/barcelona

[elvenOCEAN]

Originally posted by GotSkill

This is the first song I've written since Platinum Hit ended. I wrote it yesterday and recorded today. I don't know why I rushed the piano so much at the beginning
Its been a while since I wrote a love ballad so I wrote one. Its also only like the 3rd song I've ever written thats longer than 5 minutes

Barcelona

VERSE 1
Somewhere across the sea
You’re lying in bed without me
With starlight in your eyes
I’m lost in the daylight
Your love echoes through my mind
Oh, what I’d do to touch your lips tonight
I still believe our love can unite
Under moonlight our lips will be locked tight
So from a distance I give you my life
While I cry inside

CHORUS
We’ll conquer the distance, the oceans, commotions
So my heart can rest with you
Until forever I’ll fight even better
Do all that a human can do
Oh, what I’d do to get lost in your eyes tonight

VERSE 2
Somewhere across the air
My love awakes without a care
As I dream of one embrace
And I when I gaze up at the moon
I know it glows over you too
Still, none of this I’d ever erase
Someday I will take you to see it all
We’ll roam the world in each other’s arms
But for tonight it’s only just a dream
Love to the extreme

CHORUS
We’ll conquer the distance, the oceans, commotions
So my heart can rest with you
Until forever I’ll fight even better
Do all that a human can do
Oh, what I’d do to get lost in your eyes tonight

BRIDGE
I’ve got a love in Barcelona
In the breeze, under the sun I
Dream of flying away
But even if for one day we’d be together
Happiness would last forever
Please can I fly away?

CHORUS
We’ll conquer the distance, the oceans, commotions
So my heart can rest with you
Until forever I’ll fight even better
Do all that a human can do
Oh, what I’d do to get lost in your eyes
Someday I will look into your eyes
Oh, what I’d do to get lost in your eyes
Tonight

https://soundcloud.com/jack-reid-30/barcelona

This is my first visit to this thread and love it!
This is wonderful! I love love love love the lyrics and singing is nice too. :-D
You really have talent. Looking forward to reading more of your lyrics. :-D

[Saint]

Bare with me.
I'm trying to break my writers block so I have to get out the basic stuff

Basicness

Everything will be just fine
Cause you're my love
And you are all mine...

Never felt like this before
Your love is so sweet
It hits me deep inside my core
When I need you, you're always there
That's how I know that you truly care

When I'm up, you're up
When I'm down, you're down
I just hate it when you're not around
When I'm high, you're high
When I'm low, you're low
I love when you say my name
Makes my heartbeat go slow...

Since your loves away...
I been drifting away on goodbye
Everything will be just fine
Since your loves away...
I can't keep you off of my mind
Cause you're my love
And you are all mine

When your loves away
I lose track of the days
You're my rock, you're my babe
I love you in every single way
You make me feel so complete
Even when you're not lying here with me

Since your loves away...
I been drifting away on goodbye
Everything will be just fine
Since your loves away...
I can't keep you off of my mind
Cause you're my love
And you are all mine

When I'm up, you're up
When I'm down, you're down
I just hate it when you're not around
When I'm high, you're high
When I'm low, you're low
I love when you say my name
Makes my heartbeat go slow...

[Nait Phoenix]

Preview of my 2nd single

[Jackson]

Originally posted by elvenOCEAN

This is my first visit to this thread and love it!
This is wonderful! I love love love love the lyrics and singing is nice too. :-D
You really have talent. Looking forward to reading more of your lyrics. :-D

OMG thanks so much
I have dozens of songs no one's heard before I could share. And I have tons of titles of songs I'm planning on writing too, so I could share those. Or I might show some of my Platinum Hit songs too, since I already know some of them are really good. I'll definitely be posting in here regularly until the next season starts.

[Infinite]

i have like millions of lyrics this is one of the most catchy i think


the moon and me
You are the most important sound
and the only one i want to listen
and the fears can't do anything
don't even hit the door
And if someday this breaks in heaven
we are gonna reincarnate
and live again
and live all this again

because you are my favorite smile
my favorite piece of love
my favorite note and chord
my favorite sunshine
and the last thing on my mind
the moon that i use to write all my life

oh oh x3

do you remember when we are on the tree?
talking about things that we dont care
and your lips and your voice
choking with my eyes
is exactly what i want in my life

because you are my favorite smile
my favorite piece of love
my favorite note and chord
my favorite sunshine
and the last thing on my mind
the moon that i use to write all my life

was inspired by the love of touya and yukito of card captor sakura

[Lukey]

I always tell my boyfriend that he's out of my league and I'm really lucky to have him, and for some reason I started writing this. It has a Country tune to it, which I've never written before and it's not finished either.

Outta My League

It's almost six am
And I've still not been to sleep
Been thinking 'bout you all night long
I could really use a drink

We're not even fighting
So why do I question things
The sun is slowly rising
As I whisper your name

I know you're mine
But I'm still scared
One day you'll be gone
And I'll be left here
Just sitting on my own
Thinking to myself

I always knew
You were outta my league
When we were first met
My heart was on my sleeve
I should of trusted my instinct
That one day you would leave
Cause you were outta my league
(Oh yeah)
You were outta my league
So far outta my league

[Nait Phoenix]

Originally posted by JustLuke

I always tell my boyfriend that he's out of my league and I'm really lucky to have him, and for some reason I started writing this. It has a Country tune to it, which I've never written before and it's not finished either.

Outta My League

It's almost six am
And I've still not been to sleep
Been thinking 'bout you all night long
I could really use a drink

We're not even fighting
So why do I question things
The sun is slowly rising
As I whisper your name

I know you're mine
But I'm still scared
One day you'll be gone
And I'll be left here
Just sitting on my own
Thinking to myself

I always knew
You were outta my league
When we were first met
My heart was on my sleave
I should of trusted my extinct
That one day you would leave
Cause you were outta my league
(Oh yeah)
You were outta my league
So far outta my league

It's good, but I think it would be better if you changed it to "outta your league" since saying "outta my league" sort of implies that the person you're talking to is not on your level and is beneath you, when you clearly want it the other way around.

[Lukey]

Originally posted by Nait Phoenix

It's good, but I think it would be better if you changed it to "outta your league" since saying "outta my league" sort of implies that the person you're talking to is not on your level and is beneath you, when you clearly want it the other way around.

Hmm really? I've never thought of it like that.

[Nait Phoenix]

I was in a real slump for a while, so I finally got back to writing what's going on in my head instead of others… by writing about me being in the head of others… Confusing!? You bet it is!

Pain

First Verse:
I’m tired of hearing the same old
Saying I can’t feel what they feel
Telling me that I will never understand
The torture they’re in is so real
You’re telling me what I shouldn’t do
While you do to me what you say I can’t
Call some other kettle black if you must
But don’t condescend the way that I act

Pre-Chorus 1:
Oh…
I may not feel the same, but I’m getting there
Oh…
‘Cause I understand that life ain’t fair

Chorus 1:
I don’t wanna feel the needle
If I see that it hurts
I don’t wanna strike the first match
If I know how it burns
I don’t wanna pull the trigger
If I want to see him die
I can see the pain in his eyes

Second Verse:
I’m tired of being told
Not to interfere with other’s lives
Not to get too wrapped up
For fear I’ll tear it up with lies
Don’t you see she’s crying?
All she needs is someone around
I don’t plan on losing my friend
I wanna pick her up off the ground

Pre-Chorus 2:
Oh…
I may not feel their pain, but I understand
Oh…
That life never goes exactly how it’s planned

Chorus 2:
I don’t wanna feel the needle
If I see that it hurts
I don’t wanna strike the first match
If I know how it burns
I don’t wanna stick the knife in
If I want to see her die
I can see the pain in her eyes

Bridge:
Broken bones and promises
Aching wounds and bleeding hearts
Negative trumps positive
When you feel like shattered parts
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Tell me who am I to call when I need a hand
If no one could understand?
Right now I do understand

Repeat Chorus 1 + 2