Since exploding onto the scene last year with “TiK ToK”, the garbage bag wielding Ke$ha has managed to unleash some of the best one-liners in pop music. We’ve had “Do ya wanna have a slumber party in my basement?”, “Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack”, “Don’t be a little bitch with ya chit-chat, just show me where your dick’s at!”, and so on and so forth. It’s been less than a year since the new leader of linguistics released her debut album Animal, but already Ke$ha’s skillful use of the English language seems to have improved dramatically (if that’s even possible) with her latest album, Cannibal. For starters, she blessed the world with the soon-to-be iconic catchphrase “Got Jesus on my neck-a-luss”, but now she’s truly outdone herself with her future BET Award-winning hood anthem “Sleazy”. Below are the top five lyrics that’ll have Bob Dylan and Carole King positively green with envy!
5. “You can’t imagine the immensity of the **** that I’m not giving.”
- From now on, this is exactly what you’re to say next time somebody talks about something that you have no interest in. Try it next time you’re sitting in class and the teacher asks you a question, then when you’re inevitably suspended from school, just blame Ke$ha.
4. “And I don’t care if you stare and you call us scummy, because we ain’t after your affection and sure as hell not your money, honey!”
- If you’re gonna be trash, you’ve gotta own it.
3. “Sorry daddy, but I’m not that easy / I’m not gonna sit here while you circle jerk and work it.”
- Whoever incorporates “circle jerking” into a commercial pop song deserves major props. Possibly even a Pulitzer prize.
2. “Me and all my friends, we don’t buy bottles, we bring ‘em / We take the drinks from the tables when you get up and leave ‘em”
- The sad part is that I know somebody who does this, and I’ve happily spent many a day taunting them to their face over it. Now that Ke$ha has put it in a song, it’s officially cool and totally not tacky to sneak booze into the club to save cash, so now I’m gonna have to find something else to tease my friend about. Damn.
1. “Rat-ta-tat-tat on your dumb-dumb-drum / The beat’s so phat, gonna make me come-um-um-um, over to your place!”
- Tricked ya! You thought she meant ‘***’ as in orgasm, right? Ke$ha’s not that trashy — she just wants to come over to your place for a nice cup of tea… laced with acid and whiskey.
And to think that “I’m a free bitch, baby” and “bluffin’ with my muffin” were the coolest lines of last year. They seem so uber-lame now when compared to the lyrical poetry of God$ha, I mean Ke$ha.
All hail the new Queen!
She referring to that picture. 