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Discussion: "Promiscuous gays give our community a bad name!"
Member Since: 10/19/2010
Posts: 3,949
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i agree and this is also true for the straight community
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Member Since: 3/14/2012
Posts: 7,958
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Quote:
Originally posted by leociccone
Who cares if other gay men are promiscuous? It's their business! How would anyone find out anyways?
I'm sure people judge me just as much for being celibate.
Let's try not to judge eachother.
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Exactly
its not promiscuous gays dat give us a bad name, its judgmental ***** like u dat give us a bad name
don't hate on others and live ur life, regardless if u r sexual or not
where da hell is Amber Rose to put this twink in ha place
call me old fashioned is like sayin call me "i'm better than u cuz i have morals"
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by dabunique
Exactly
its not promiscuous gays dat give us a bad name, its judgmental ***** like u dat give us a bad name
don't hate on others and live ur life, regardless if u r sexual or not
where da hell is Amber Rose to put this twink in ha place
call me old fashioned is like sayin call me "i'm better than u cuz i have morals"
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I'm going to say exactly to your exactly!
They are literally giving gays a bad name by telling people we are so problemed and promiscuous and all that.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 5,825
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Quote:
Originally posted by DTF
The reasoning in OP is flawed and is the product of our heteronormative society specifically because gay people are perceived as more promiscuous when gay people aren't actually significantly more promiscuous than straight people. This is why some people here are (correctly) saying that this argument is flawed and homophobic.
For every story about a gay man having been cheated on by his partner, there's at least one or two equal stories about a straight woman having being cheated on by her boyfriend, so it's ridiculous to hold the LGBTQ+ community accountable for this when it isn't a symptom of the community.
I think a better conversation to be having would be how attitudes towards sex are shifting due to: 1) increasing acceptance of homosexuality in western societies leading to more, well, relationships/hooking up happening; 2) increased venues and access for locating a hook up partner because the internet and smartphones are undoubtedly making this easier; 3) how technological advances in simplifying the hook up process in conjunction with increased social acceptance is causing more guys to hook up with guys; and 4) how having this access readily available has made people realize that they don't need to or want to be monogamous so early on in their lives (early 20s, early 30s - especially since the average lifespan is longer).
Finally, mainstream gay media is also unrelenting in pushing the incubus Adonis trope, where you're supposedly more socially desirable if you look like a bodybuilder and are having intercourse every night of the week. It's societal pressure. (And we could also obviously address how men are socially conditioned to engage in sex...)
The point is that it's not as easy as just saying "all gays are promiscuous because this generation sucks" etc. because it's way more complex than that.
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Love this post, especially the bolded part 
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,384
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Quote:
Originally posted by swissman
Sending unwanted pics or harassing messages is annoying and I agree with you.
Having in your profile that you want to suck is fine. Don't shame them for proudly stating their desires.
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In my opinion, it's pathetic, sorry.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by SayCart1991
In my opinion, it's pathetic, sorry.
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It’s pathetic because you view open and honest sexuality as something shameful, something that should be hidden (even on an app that promises you the ability to find someone to hook up with).
And that, is a problem. Your open mind will only go so far. You’re gay, I assume. Do you realize people once said about gay people “Ya that’s fine if you want to be gay but just keep it to yourself.” There was even that mentality in the government (Don’t Ask Don’t Tell). We, are a community used to this and we need to have a more opened mind about all things before new generations of gays are born with no sense of the oppression and so easily adopt the dated, heteronormative standards that currently oppress people.
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 11,464
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Quote:
Originally posted by KillingYourCareer
I think they're trying to say that there aren't enough gheys who are willing to have a serious relationships, and I can't say I disagree
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This tbh
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 1,480
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I think Dan Savage's Savage Lovecast would be an excellent listen particularly if you've succumbed to sex negativity, shaming, and in constant disgust about how the LGBT community treats sex compared to our straight counterparts. I happen to think that, as a whole, the LGBT community tends to have a more honest view of human sexuality. So, it is somewhat disconcerting to see people within the community start to pick each other apart because of the sex we're having just as anti-LGBT people have done for so long.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by ariesjow
I think Dan Savage's Savage Lovecast would be an excellent listen particularly if you've succumbed to sex negativity, shaming, and in constant disgust about how the LGBT community treats sex compared to our straight counterparts. I happen to think that, as a whole, the LGBT community tends to have a more honest view of human sexuality. So, it is somewhat disconcerting to see people within the community start to pick each other apart because of the sex we're having just as anti-LGBT people have done for so long. |
YES!!
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Member Since: 11/26/2010
Posts: 14,197
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Promiscuous gays have the right to hook up with as many guys as they want, however, I'm still gonna judge.
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Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 19,122
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Quote:
Originally posted by KillingYourCareer
I think they're trying to say that there aren't enough gheys who are willing to have a serious relationships, and I can't say I disagree
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This. I agree with him.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/8/2008
Posts: 21,933
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What's so great about monogamy? Thank god for gloryholes and hookups.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,757
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People care too much what others do in the bedroom. The problem isn't the promiscuity, it's the lack of education on sexual health. **** as many people as you want, it's your business, just do it safely.
There are actual problems in the gay community like, as I mentioned earlier, the high sti/std rate. Or the lack of inclusion of POC. Who cares if someone wants to bang alot? You do you.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/8/2008
Posts: 21,933
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Quote:
Originally posted by JessLM
Basically. This whole narrative of people being promiscuous because they need to fill something that's missing in their lives is so Middle Ages. |
!!!! Projecting things onto to others.
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Banned
Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 4,870
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mettaton
People care too much what others do in the bedroom. The problem isn't the promiscuity, it's the lack of education on sexual health. **** as many people as you want, it's your business, just do it safely.
There are actual problems in the gay community like, as I mentioned earlier, the high sti/std rate. Or the lack of inclusion of POC. Who cares if someone wants to bang alot? You do you.
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I wonder why that is.
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Member Since: 3/8/2014
Posts: 6,940
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He didn't lie
Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
Promiscuity is nothing to be proud of.
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And this.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,527
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People can sleep with whoever they want to. If you don't like it don't do it and that's it. I don't understand why that is a big deal.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,718
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The fact some of ya'll dismiss sex addiction, like it's nothing but old wives tales.....
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrYorkshireFenty
The fact some of ya'll dismiss sex addiction, like it's nothing but old wives tales.....
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The fact that you think having multiple partners and not wanting monogamy means sex addiction....
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,757
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Quote:
Originally posted by Humunukuapua
I wonder why that is.
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Lack of education, especially when it comes to gay sex. The black community is having a problem with an increase in HIV, and we know it's not because of "promiscuous behavior".
Many just don't know anything other than 'try not to a girl pregnant', which doesn't help gay men at all. In schools there needs to be a more frank discussion when it comes to, not only gay sex, but sex in general. It's such a taboo subject that parents don't want their kids to hear, and because of that it's hurting a lot of people in the long run. Especially when they want and need to learn about this stuff.
Like the thread that had serious discussions about HIV, from those living with it. I learnt a lot from it, and more things like that needs to be in schools.
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