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Discussion: Grindr racism exposed
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 10/18/2010
Posts: 5,152
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I tried using Grindr a few years ago and the amount of stupid comments I'd get about my race was simply unbelivable.
Some white people's fetishism of us blacks is disgusting. The worse is that they think they are making you a compliment by constantly referring to your ''bbc'' 
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Banned
Member Since: 3/3/2012
Posts: 13,073
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Quote:
Originally posted by dessy
Racism isn't straightforward and a great umbrella. There are various faucets. It can be as blatant as possible (the KKK; using n-word), based on ignorance (Conferdate flag; lack of acknowledge of the other races' issues), Subtle (this one most people don't usually realize what they're doing, usually based on stereotypes), political (the opposition to Obama is more than just political disagreements), and so on.
Racism in the gay community is a targeted issue that black gays have been trying to fight for years now. You can't simply lump gay racism with straight racism, it doesn't work like that because there is a different purpose in mind. Homosexuals collectively understand what it's like to be discriminated against. That alone should makes them more open and want to understand the issue with racism, especially when other gays are committing these acts.
Also you won't see "Racism exposed on straight dating App Tinder" because 1) Straight people barely use these apps and 2) you'd need to actually match with each other to even hold a conversation.
It's not a" matter of opinion", it's true. Obviously not ALL gays use preference to disguise racism but no one is going to own up to being a racist in the 21st century. The biggest flaw in this all is that you're trying to give the benefit of doubt by factoring in straight relationships which already function differently from gay relationships.
And how do you know they don't? Black gays especially have to fight racism on two fronts while trying to fight homophobia in the black community (unless you're going to tell me that homophobia is no different in different races like your racism comment). The white twink that isn't dating Asian people is a gross simplification of the issue here. Most people obviously don't care if a couple cute white twinks isn't into them. More fishes in the sea. But when you have a large number of people expressing "no (race)" or making subtle racist comments or even simply ignoring a race all together for no real reason how can you tell us to get over it. If racism in the gay community isn't a serious problem then tell me why black gays are having black/white profile pic, refuse to put their race down and try to past off as non-black on Grindr, Jack'd, Hornet and even ****ing Tinder? I seen it too many times.
Closing note: I'm not saying that having a preference is racism. I myself am black and have a "preference" for white and latinos (mostly latinos). There's a lot of black guys in my area so I get a lot of messages from them. I have never felt a need to add "latinos only" especially when several of the guys were cute. For those black gays I mentioned above, I don't ask "are you white" (that's a comment that goes around a lot, especially for the latino/hispanic gay community). |
Yas, hunty.
Clock these gays circle jerking to the idea that we shouldn't call out white gays for being racist because "everyone can be racist".
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Member Since: 8/3/2012
Posts: 8,030
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Quote:
Originally posted by dessy
Racism isn't straightforward and a great umbrella. There are various faucets. It can be as blatant as possible (the KKK; using n-word), based on ignorance (Conferdate flag; lack of acknowledge of the other races' issues), Subtle (this one most people don't usually realize what they're doing, usually based on stereotypes), political (the opposition to Obama is more than just political disagreements), and so on.
Racism in the gay community is a targeted issue that black gays have been trying to fight for years now. You can't simply lump gay racism with straight racism, it doesn't work like that because there is a different purpose in mind. Homosexuals collectively understand what it's like to be discriminated against. That alone should makes them more open and want to understand the issue with racism, especially when other gays are committing these acts.
Also you won't see "Racism exposed on straight dating App Tinder" because 1) Straight people barely use these apps and 2) you'd need to actually match with each other to even hold a conversation.
It's not a" matter of opinion", it's true. Obviously not ALL gays use preference to disguise racism but no one is going to own up to being a racist in the 21st century. The biggest flaw in this all is that you're trying to give the benefit of doubt by factoring in straight relationships which already function differently from gay relationships.
And how do you know they don't? Black gays especially have to fight racism on two fronts while trying to fight homophobia in the black community (unless you're going to tell me that homophobia is no different in different races like your racism comment). The white twink that isn't dating Asian people is a gross simplification of the issue here. Most people obviously don't care if a couple cute white twinks isn't into them. More fishes in the sea. But when you have a large number of people expressing "no (race)" or making subtle racist comments or even simply ignoring a race all together for no real reason how can you tell us to get over it. If racism in the gay community isn't a serious problem then tell me why black gays are having black/white profile pic, refuse to put their race down and try to past off as non-black on Grindr, Jack'd, Hornet and even ****ing Tinder? I seen it too many times.
Closing note: I'm not saying that having a preference is racism. I myself am black and have a "preference" for white and latinos (mostly latinos). There's a lot of black guys in my area so I get a lot of messages from them. I have never felt a need to add "latinos only" especially when several of the guys were cute. For those black gays I mentioned above, I don't ask "are you white" (that's a comment that goes around a lot, especially for the latino/hispanic gay community). |
Not somebody in here actually using critical thinking and logic. Slay.
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Member Since: 11/9/2010
Posts: 10,446
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Quote:
Originally posted by daking17
I tried using Grindr a few years ago and the amount of stupid comments I'd get about my race was simply unbelivable.
Some white people's fetishism of us blacks is disgusting. The worse is that they think they are making you a compliment by constantly referring to your ''bbc'' |
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Member Since: 11/9/2010
Posts: 10,446
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Quote:
Originally posted by dessy
Racism isn't straightforward and a great umbrella. There are various faucets. It can be as blatant as possible (the KKK; using n-word), based on ignorance (Conferdate flag; lack of acknowledge of the other races' issues), Subtle (this one most people don't usually realize what they're doing, usually based on stereotypes), political (the opposition to Obama is more than just political disagreements), and so on.
Racism in the gay community is a targeted issue that black gays have been trying to fight for years now. You can't simply lump gay racism with straight racism, it doesn't work like that because there is a different purpose in mind. Homosexuals collectively understand what it's like to be discriminated against. That alone should makes them more open and want to understand the issue with racism, especially when other gays are committing these acts.
Also you won't see "Racism exposed on straight dating App Tinder" because 1) Straight people barely use these apps and 2) you'd need to actually match with each other to even hold a conversation.
It's not a" matter of opinion", it's true. Obviously not ALL gays use preference to disguise racism but no one is going to own up to being a racist in the 21st century. The biggest flaw in this all is that you're trying to give the benefit of doubt by factoring in straight relationships which already function differently from gay relationships.
And how do you know they don't? Black gays especially have to fight racism on two fronts while trying to fight homophobia in the black community (unless you're going to tell me that homophobia is no different in different races like your racism comment). The white twink that isn't dating Asian people is a gross simplification of the issue here. Most people obviously don't care if a couple cute white twinks isn't into them. More fishes in the sea. But when you have a large number of people expressing "no (race)" or making subtle racist comments or even simply ignoring a race all together for no real reason how can you tell us to get over it. If racism in the gay community isn't a serious problem then tell me why black gays are having black/white profile pic, refuse to put their race down and try to past off as non-black on Grindr, Jack'd, Hornet and even ****ing Tinder? I seen it too many times.
Closing note: I'm not saying that having a preference is racism. I myself am black and have a "preference" for white and latinos (mostly latinos). There's a lot of black guys in my area so I get a lot of messages from them. I have never felt a need to add "latinos only" especially when several of the guys were cute. For those black gays I mentioned above, I don't ask "are you white" (that's a comment that goes around a lot, especially for the latino/hispanic gay community). |
Well done. Thank you for this.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 2,855
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Those comments are disgusting, but I always kinda side-eye Asians and Blacks who complain about "racial preferences" because most of them only want white guys themselves. Honestly, I've never met an Asian gay couple - the Asians gays I know thirst after white dudes exclusively, so what do you expect? Most straight people end up with someone within their own race, but for some reason gay minorities seem to not want other gay minorties  If there was a gay app for minorties, would they even use it? Just saying.
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 22,877
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Quote:
Originally posted by daking17
I tried using Grindr a few years ago and the amount of stupid comments I'd get about my race was simply unbelivable.
Some white people's fetishism of us blacks is disgusting. The worse is that they think they are making you a compliment by constantly referring to your ''bbc'' |
The three letters that make me thirsty. mess at people legitimately using that acronym outside of p0rn tho. 
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Member Since: 8/12/2007
Posts: 15,237
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Mess.
And the girls in here acting like they're above Grindr, please. 
Yet they're taking it in the ass in the clubs parking lot.
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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Quote:
Originally posted by dessy
Racism in the gay community is a targeted issue that black gays have been trying to fight for years now. You can't simply lump gay racism with straight racism, it doesn't work like that because there is a different purpose in mind. Homosexuals collectively understand what it's like to be discriminated against. That alone should makes them more open and want to understand the issue with racism, especially when other gays are committing these acts.
It's not a" matter of opinion", it's true. Obviously not ALL gays use preference to disguise racism but no one is going to own up to being a racist in the 21st century. The biggest flaw in this all is that you're trying to give the benefit of doubt by factoring in straight relationships which already function differently from gay relationships.
And how do you know they don't? Black gays especially have to fight racism on two fronts while trying to fight homophobia in the black community (unless you're going to tell me that homophobia is no different in different races like your racism comment). The white twink that isn't dating Asian people is a gross simplification of the issue here. Most people obviously don't care if a couple cute white twinks isn't into them. More fishes in the sea. But when you have a large number of people expressing "no (race)" or making subtle racist comments or even simply ignoring a race all together for no real reason how can you tell us to get over it. If racism in the gay community isn't a serious problem then tell me why black gays are having black/white profile pic, refuse to put their race down and try to past off as non-black on Grindr, Jack'd, Hornet and even ****ing Tinder? I seen it too many times.
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You said a lot, but I'm curious (in a non smart-ass way) if you would elaborate on some points...
Beginning with this, which is kind of the premise from which the rest of your perspective springs:
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Racism in the gay community is a targeted issue that black gays have been trying to fight for years now
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Can you explain in what way blacks have been fighting racism in the gay world specifically? Because as far as I can see, it begins and ends with a few tacky grindr profiles, that many people have not even witnessed firsthand. Not exactly the material from which I would conclude an issue to be a widespread epidemic as it's being portrayed.
Seriously, does it extend beyond this (weak-kneed) example? Because I'm really curios to know why, as a black gay male, with black gay male friends (and other races too), none of us are treated differently in gay venues? Why didn't we get the memo that we're apparently in the midst of a race-war? Seriously, what instances of racism are we fighting exactly. Examples?
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You can't simply lump gay racism with straight racism, it doesn't work like that because there is a different purpose in mind
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What does this even mean? Last time I checked the motives were the same between all men; either score sexually or find something deeper, a la a relationship. This honestly sounds backwards.
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The biggest flaw in this all is that you're trying to give the benefit of doubt by factoring in straight relationships which already function differently from gay relationships
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Again, how are straight relationships different from gay relationships? Have you ever been in one, or know a gay couple? I can assure you that other than both people being the same sex, they are the same as hetero couples. And by that I mean that there's lots of variation in relationship types, but none that is exclusive to gays. This sounds like the stuff anti-gay people say to separate us and our unions from the "normal" straight ones.
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But when you have a large number of people expressing "no (race)" or making subtle racist comments or even simply ignoring a race all together for no real reason how can you tell us to get over it.
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A large number??? Given the rampant hear-say accounts and anecdotal stories as opposed to firsthand experience, how would you conclude such a thing?
.................
Again, just to reiterate, I'm not saying that this isn't an issue at all, but more so that people are totally overemphasizing it's magnitude, and then making gross generalizations about entire races based on this over emphasis, as if that's some how progressive or helpful.
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Member Since: 1/3/2014
Posts: 2,764
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 27,856
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Quote:
Originally posted by umich
Happens all of the time, and I'm nut surprised.
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Intentional joke or typo?
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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Quote:
Originally posted by Circinus
Those comments are disgusting, but I always kinda side-eye Asians and Blacks who complain about "racial preferences" because most of them only want white guys themselves. Honestly, I've never met an Asian gay couple - the Asians gays I know thirst after white dudes exclusively, so what do you expect? Most straight people end up with someone within their own race, but for some reason gay minorities seem to not want other gay minorties If there was a gay app for minorties, would they even use it? Just saying. |
THIS ****ing too.
I feel like it's the pink elephant in the room. But that's another story altogether...
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 12,538
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Quote:
Originally posted by Planet Mars
Are white men a prize though? What makes them special lmao
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dd, this.
I've never used, let alone downloaded, Grindr; but I don't doubt what goes on, on there.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 681
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Simple solution, stop using Grindr.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 23,857
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Quote:
Originally posted by inspiration4
You said a lot, but I'm curious (in a non smart-ass way) if you would elaborate on some points...
Beginning with this, which is kind of the premise from which the rest of your perspective springs:
Can you explain in what way blacks have been fighting racism in the gay world specifically? Because as far as I can see, it begins and ends with a few tacky grindr profiles, that many people have not even witnessed firsthand. Not exactly the material from which I would conclude an issue to be a widespread epidemic as it's being portrayed.
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It goes further than Grindr which is just a visual peak at the issue. Racism as a whole isn't a "widespread epidemic" and I don't know who's portraying it as such. People are painting it as an issue, which it is.
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Seriously, does it extend beyond this (weak-kneed) example? Because I'm really curios to know why, as a black gay male, with black gay male friends (and other races too), none of us are treated differently in gay venues? Why didn't we get the memo that we're apparently in the midst of a race-war? Seriously, what instances of racism are we fighting exactly. Examples?
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Race-war? You're exaggerating the narrative here. All I'm saying is that black gays been fighting racism in the gay community for some time now. And I'm really curious as to why me and my black friends get racist remarks and stereotyped at a glance. Of course it might be a difference in location/culture. Your area may be far more respectable to any members of other races than mine. I also already explained the racism we're dealing with in the gay community.
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What does this even mean? Last time I checked the motives were the same between all men; either score sexually or find something deeper, a la a relationship. This honestly sounds backwards.
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Because men are seeking out other men and not women?
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Again, how are straight relationships different from gay relationships? Have you ever been in one, or know a gay couple? I can assure you that other than both people being the same sex, they are the same as hetero couples. And by that I mean that there's lots of variation in relationship types, but none that is exclusive to gays. This sounds like the stuff anti-gay people say to separate us and our unions from the "normal" straight ones.
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What? First of all, let drop the anti-gay mess because I never seen them used that argument before. There's a world of difference between dating a woman and dating a man. Gender especially play a lot into this. And I'm not just talking about having sex here. There's also the environmental influence happening here (like people looking down on gay couples and gay couples being less likely to show PDAs . It shouldn't be any different from straight relationships with typical relationship variations, but this is the reality here.
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A large number??? Given the rampant hear-say accounts and anecdotal stories as opposed to firsthand experience, how would you conclude such a thing?
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Perhaps a large number is an overstatement here. That still doesn't change the fact that there's quite a number of people that actually done/does this.
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Again, just to reiterate, I'm not saying that this isn't an issue at all, but more so that people are totally overemphasizing it's magnitude, and then making gross generalizations about entire races based on this over emphasis, as if that's some how progressive or helpful.
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And I haven't made any overemphasizing here. I stated the problem as it is. I simply disagreed with Blackstar's suggestion that 'racism in the gay community' shouldn't be a topic on it own. Racism as I stated before need to be targeted at calculated areas. And people are more likely to deal with the issues that hit closer to home.
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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Quote:
Originally posted by dessy
It goes further than Grindr which is just a visual peak at the issue. Racism as a whole isn't a "widespread epidemic" and I don't know who's portraying it as such. People are painting it as an issue, which it is.
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Maybe I shouldn't have targeted that towards you. I was more or less speaking on the general tone of the thread, and the literal conclusion of many before you. My mistake.
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And I'm really curious as to why me and my black friends get racist remarks and stereotyped at a glance. Of course it might be a difference in location/culture. Your area may be far more respectable to any members of other races than mine
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I feel like this point is everything. At the end of the day, geography and culture are a massive factor. I'm speaking personally on my experiences in SF, LA, Miami, and NY (to a much lesser extent). If you don't mind, I'm curious to know what area you'r from?
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What? First of all, let drop the anti-gay mess because I never seen them used that argument before. There's a world of difference between dating a woman and dating a man. Gender especially play a lot into this. And I'm not just talking about having sex here. There's also the environmental influence happening here (like people looking down on gay couples and gay couples being less likely to show PDAs . It shouldn't be any different from straight relationships with typical relationship variations, but this is the reality here.
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I didn't mean that YOU are anti-gay, but that your argument wreaks of the claims that anti-gay people love to make. But I maintain my point. Whether or nor you choose to engage in PDA is not a valid example of any differences between gay and hetero relationships, especially not when the vast majority of straight couples also don't engage in such behavior. That's just surface behavior anyway.
And even discrimination isn't unique to gays, as many straight couples face it for a variety of reasons; age difference, interracial unions, people of different religions, etc...
At the end of the day, the actual intimate connections that are formed are no different. People are people, and emotions don't waver with sexuality.
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Perhaps a large number is an overstatement here. That still doesn't change the fact that there's quite a number of people that actually done/does this.
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It doesn't, but it puts the situation into an overall context. A context which is sorely missing seeing the # of people who so freely conclude all white gays are racists lol.
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And I haven't made any overemphasizing here.
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That statement actually wasn't directed toward you at all. Just a general one about the tone of the thread.
And for what it's worth, I like how you debate. You'r able to make points without resorting to personal attacks, which is the norm on here for anyone who ever counters claims of "rampant racism", sexism, etc etc...
I may not see eye to eye with you, as our experiences have been very different, but I respect your perspective.
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Member Since: 5/1/2012
Posts: 5,918
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Asians are so nasty. Just shut the **** up you are all ****in ugly , what do you want? all of you are short, ugly bottoms, and your main goal in life is to get the white d*** of some old white daddy who can get you out of the Philipines or China (where you work in a sneakers fabric for 30 cents per hour) so shut the **** up.
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Member Since: 5/7/2012
Posts: 16,235
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Quote:
Originally posted by Wet
Asians are so nasty. Just shut the **** up you are all ****in ugly , what do you want? all of you are short, ugly bottoms, and your main goal in life is to get the white d*** of some old white daddy who can get you out of the Philipines or China (where you work in a sneakers fabric for 30 cents per hour) so shut the **** up.
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 4,154
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even on my local grindr, good looking ppl would just choose good looking ppl..
ugh
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 4,154
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Quote:
Originally posted by Wet
Asians are so nasty. Just shut the **** up you are all ****in ugly , what do you want? all of you are short, ugly bottoms, and your main goal in life is to get the white d*** of some old white daddy who can get you out of the Philipines or China (where you work in a sneakers fabric for 30 cents per hour) so shut the **** up.
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gross
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