[Dylobs]

12. Dylobs – One More Time
"Of her past innocence, which has no resemblance" is such a sad statement. The rhyming really helps create a melancholic intensity to the very start of the piece. The hook was the strongest part of the song for me - "a victim of greed, their insatiable need," this song really is a masterclass of powerful rhyming. It all flows together smoothly, the syntax is jilted, reflecting the grief and sorrow that must course through the victim's veins.

This was depressing and I mean in the best possible way. There are all the right elements at play here, the angered rhyming, the saddened tone, the melancholic word choices. There's beauty to be found in tragedy and the beauty we find within this song stings.

Meowster, you're gonna make me pee myself with excitement Thanks so much

[Element]

Aww thank you Meowster I love your comment writing style. It's so calming.

[jpow]

I can't believe all of our comments fit on one post now

[Temporal]

Originally posted by 8thPrince

Ooooh OK I see I think I know what you're hearing

It's not a wrong chord

This song follows the four chords of pop progression for the most part, and GENERALLY the chords used are

I-V-vi-IV
(In Remedy that would be D major-A major-B minor-G major)

But instead for the chorus Remedy shifts the third in the vi up one semitone and the third in the IV down one semitone making it

I-V-IV-vi
(D major-A major-G major-B minor)

Tedder essentially switches the last two chords from the commonly heard progression, so it sounds off to your ear

Every time I hear that chord it gives me a heart palpitation Even more so than anything I've heard on Mutant yet

[8thPrince]

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

Every time I hear that chord it gives me a heart palpitation Even more so than anything I've heard on Mutant yet

Hopefully that was helpful! Now never make me listen to another Adele song again

[Temporal]

Originally posted by 8thPrince

Hopefully that was helpful! Now never make me listen to another Adele song again

I feel kinda embarrassed I was thrown so far off by a minor chord but Jesus it still hurts me

[TheCheetahwings]

Thanks Meowster I'm glad you liked it!

[ausdaniel]

Thanks Meowster!

[swiftie13]

Thanks Meowster. Your general positivity is always welcome

[ceremonials]

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

Did you enjoy sis?



Check your PMs

[Hugamari]

Why are there 3 people perched in here if nobody's posted anything in an hour. ANYWAY, going to bed friends! I will see y'all tomorrow, maybe the results will be out? Probably not, but we can dream!

[Achilles.]

Originally posted by Hugamari

General: There aren't really any issues with meter here, but some lines felt a tad predictable. The "lives/survive" lines, for instance! Also, I get that you were trying to prove a point with the bridge, but I wasn't keen on the repetition.

Challenge: I definitely agree with the message you're trying to convey, but right from the get-go it's so blunt and it comes off preachy. I would've enjoyed seeing a tad bit of subtlety.

I almost used "get by" instead of "survive" in that couplet (would it have made a difference in your judgment?), but I decided that "survive" was a stronger word choice, and the "s" sound at its start continued the "s" sound from "sisters" and "struggling" in that line.

But why is subtlety necessary? Music isn't required to be subtle or poetic. There are times when it's best to be blunt, and there are times when it can be effective. I mean, I expected this song to be divisive precisely for this reason, but I'm not sure I really understand this site-wide (society-wide?) stigma about songs that openly state what they mean like this.

Originally posted by Meowster

Kii, random, but I couldn't stop of thinking of Ted Cruz's ignorant homophobic ass while you were spewing and (rightfully) fuming.

ddd I think of Ben Carson on the stage at the GOP debate claiming that "you are not a homophobe if you oppose gay marriage. This is a myth perpetrated by the biased liberal media that is destroying this nation with its political correctness."

Astounding. Hilarious in like 5 different ways.

Our presidential candidates, everyone!

[Vulnicura]

thank you for the comments
huga and meow

[UFO]

02. UFO – Paradise
General: The whole song seems to have an almost condescending tone to it, which I thought made it much more interesting! The language here feels a bit too familiar through - dust, pain, etc. Some different words could really spice things up.

Challenge: You obviously had something to say, but you did it in a way that wasn't so in-your-face, which is the obvious trap to fall into.

I wanted my song to be slightly cynical so I'm glad you picked up on that! The idea of "once everyone is dead, we will finally live in paradise" was the basic premise. Twisted, but somewhat true. Mess I'm actually surprised y'all didn't clock me sooner I always use the same vocabulary.

02. UFO – Paradise
A relevant topic considering what all has transpired this past week. The tone of your work here, especially in the chorus, is morbidly ironic yet true. Pure peace would be finally delivered when war stops and indeed humanity with it. There is a great sense of urgency within your two verses. They are short yet realized in their thoughts, which gives a sense of terror and distress within the chaos surrounding them and us. The best lines in this selection would be the first two of the second verse: "The lakes are dry, their souls are seized, their hands are lined with the pain they leave."

It is a very strong theme. You clearly see the passion that you have for it, especially being able to realize the saddening truths that come together with your issue.

Yass Paradise

Thank you! I think the saddest thing about war is how something so unnecessary has become something so "normal" in the eyes of many people. Sadly, the solution to war is war i.e. more death. It's interesting that you highlighted those lines, in particular. My favourite ones would probably be: "The doors are locked, their beds are made, their tears are lost in the lonely rain."

[Aurora]

Sorry everyone, I can't get my comments done when I wanted because I've come down with something and I feel really terrible right now. I'm going to get some rest.

Results will still be at the semi-usual time of 7:00 PM EST, or in 13.5 hours from this post (assuming I have scores from GotSkill and lovesong by then). I'll get my comments done and posted before then.

[Buyonce1814]

Back from my little break. God I hated the last three days.

[ausdaniel]

Hope you feel better soon, Sam!

Side note I just booked a spontaneous holiday, off to Vietnam in a few weeks

[swiftie13]

Feel better Sam!

[Moonchild]

I'm sorry you don't feel well, Sam. Take care of yourself and feel better!

[TheCheetahwings]

Feel better soon Sam!