Quote:
Originally posted by Theus
No.
For a year already I have been stressed, tired and sick of everything. I don't have time for relationships and I have to take care of a whole coffee store even though I am not the actual owner he doesn't know to do ****. I don't have many friends around that I can talk to about this stuff irl nor do I trust enough on psychologist to go on one. I have the worst type of relationship with my parents as it can gets. We barely speak anymore and when we do my usually starts saying biphobic stuff to me. My dad is ****. My sister is annoying af and her own ****ing parents thought it was a good idea having another son together even thought they are not able to take properly care of a kid at all. My best friend died last year. My other best friend barely speaks to me anymore. Many people that I consider in some kinda of way have been literally all dying lately. The last two persons that I was supposed to date with it ran away to another country (literally) People look at me with disgust on their faces no matter how "cute" and "kind" I try to be.
I'm done for.
For most of the time I feel nothing and when I do nothing other the feeling of beating the **** down of these same people that annoy me. I know this is a problem, a huge problem that reaches a new peak everyday. You know what's funny? These people are always "you are so sensitive for a grown man like you!" **** off little bitch you don't even know what I have gone throught for on the past years. My life has been nothing other than hell.
I started to consider the idea of online dating lately, because I thought it could actually work... But it doesn't. Everyone else is like "dick size" "can host" "do u like guys too? eww" and so on. I legitly accepted for a few minutes the idea of a hook up with a stranger and now we are here. I did that because I thought I could actually feel more than those twisted feelings I mentioned befor e... but no. By the moment I stop masturidkhowittypes around these same people pics are not same way I feel when I think doing it with someone I actually like.... a pure feeling. But of course I am stupid enough to think that I would ever find it on godd****ingdamn dating site. I am dumb. I don't even know how to interact with people anymore, not even online. There's barely anyone that actually cares about me out there like no one pays attention to me when I need it.
I'm done.
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i just got on atrl and i saw this and i'm sorry theus ): if it matters at all i think you're a really good guy and i'm sorry you deal with this stuff
honestly from experience, all you can really do is keep trying. for me, it honestly has kinda helped me in the past to just give up and make no effort for anything for a day or two when i get really depressed and have a really bad breakdown (idk if you're even the type to have breakdowns like i do), and then use that time to recharge a bit and go back to trying afterwards. as long as you don't let it last for too long of a time, sometimes there's really no other option.
As long as you spelled the postal code right it's fine. 
