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1. Hugamari - I Can Not Face Reality
Intsrumental 7 (Swiftie13)
Lyrics: It's "cannot" not "can not" you fat ****. I liked your concept and how you structured this, I think you utilized each part of the song effectively and to your advantage.
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Really? I was SHOOK at the thought of the empty space getting dragged in the part between the prechorus and chorus., but I wanted it there to kinda let the "that you're gone" part really sink in to this person's head. The breakdown comes in and that's when this person starts panicking, or at least that's what I wanted it to feel like, but I was thinking it'd get called lazy instead.
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The concept wasn't brilliant or anything we haven't read before, but I really liked the development in this.
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I didn't want to write about relationships (in a romantic sense) because having been a judge before, I know FULL WELL what you mean with this. I wanted to have the focus be more on his slow breakdown than on the actual relationship, and I'm not entirely sure it worked but it's better than not trying at all, I suppose.
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The rhymes definitely toed the line of easy and lazy, while "Cry/Vice" was downright sinful.
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I can see where you're coming from with this, but I kinda threw poeticism out the window for the most part seeing as we had to write to an instrumental and I was more focused on what sounded natural, as you'll KNOW for a fact something is forced since we recorded it.
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The second verse was far darker and morbid than the rest of the song and could've been toned down a notch or two.
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I wanted a real motivation behind him going mad, so that's why the verse was so dark. I could see why people would think it'd clash too much with the picturesque first verse, but I personally really liked that about the song. People are obviously allowed opinions, of course!
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Recording: The melody in the verse/pre-chorus was pretty bland, and there was only a little difference between the two structures but they kept the same general shape. Those sections needed a little more nuance. I loved the chorus melody, though!
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I was going to change it a bit, but I was too scared I'd make something really bad out of it, so I decided to go with ol' reliable for both verses and pre-chorus. But hey, I'll take the comment about the chorus! It's the most important part of any song, and if anything should be stuck in your head, that should be it! It's usually where the title is.
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Overall: A solid entry and a good start to the challenge for me.
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Seeing as I was expecting a skull-drag lash, I can deal with this! Thanks for your review
I'm glad you liked the song overall though 
I kinda wish I could have kept it, because I think it helps tell more of a story and packs more of an emotional punch.
