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Pears
It is an interesting song. I don't think it's bad by any means, but maybe could use a little work. Remember that you have a short time for these entries. Sometimes songs take me months to finish and be completely happy with. The ideas are definitely there and you have a vision but it isn't perfectly executed for me. Some lines are really insightful and great to me, but others I think could be replaced, not really adding much or just having more potential there. The bridge is a little useless and could use expanding on. In general, it feels like a work in progress. Again, not a bad thing because I do like this entry, but you have more potential and places to go. If you'd like a line by line idea of what I think is good or can go, you can wall/pm/@ me in the thread as to avoid exposing your song in the review.
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Thank you for the review! I'm definitely going to keep working on this song until it's perfect to me. Like you said, we only have a short amount of time to work, so there will always be room to improve. I'd love to get a line-by-line of your thoughts! I'll PM you.
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Jackson
Your Fergalicious is here! To get minor stressing things out of the way, the “hold more” line flowed differently than the rest of the verse and “The only place that I call mine” would fine flowed better to fit the meter of the rest of the verse. Apart from those minor qualms this song flowed PERFECTLY. It was fun to read and almost mimicked what I would feel being the flow of the night. The lines were short, mysterious, descriptive, and cool in nature. You captured the essence of your sign perfectly. The meaning of the song was a bit difficult to decipher. From what I could tell it seemed as though the song’s subject was dying, although it’s never explicitly clear what the cause is (self-inflicted or natural). Your imagery was incredibly strong and set up the mood and emotion of the song extremely well, but I would have appreciated stronger storytelling elements as well such as those teased in the second verse, or at least something that would have made the themes of the song a bit clearer. My favorite lines here were “Dreaming dreams more real than life” and the first few lines of the second verse. I liked the use of third person here as well and thought it contributed to the more mysterious feel of the song have some form of detachment between the narrator and the subject of the song.
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Quote:
Temporal
So I liked this, but I won't lie, I am quite perplexed by it. I got the first verse, I think I got the second, and most of the chorus, but the bridge and some lines in the chorus confused me. What did you mean by "The stars of his mind" and why were you "sorry" that "he'll" see you soon? "Before I felt dead in the end / You said I could do it all some day / But some shadows don't go away", what was the end? What are the shadows? What were you not doing already? I felt like I had a lot more questions than answers with this piece. It was just too vague. I really liked the style and atmosphere of it, as well as the lyrics at face value, AND you did a good job with the challenge, but I can't help but feel lost with this.
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Quote:
8th
While it starts out slow with the first verse, this song gets good at the chorus and stays on a roll until the conclusion. The song is cool, and by cool I mean aloof and interesting. The chorus is quite solid, but overall I find the song lacking in story, which you sort of get going in the second verse, but it doesn’t go very far. Your short songs are refreshing, but be wary of them getting scant.
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Slay at us having the same favorite lines, Jackson! Thank you for your reviews, Jackson, Temps and 8th. I'm glad you all seemed to like the mood and tone and imagery because that was a lot of what I was going for.
I'll be sure to work on a clearer narrative throughout the song when I go back to work on it. That seems to be the common theme in the feedback I've gotten.
Half of y'all aren't getting cut 
Most of you have worked hard to get here and hopefully your efforts will be rewarded!
not surprised though. Praying I make it.