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Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 8
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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I'm staying up at 3:22am for dis
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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I'm just watching Queer As Folk atm.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,500
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Yas 
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 6,127
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I'm 35 mins early to my induction 
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Quote:
Originally posted by MattyTacos
I'm just watching Queer As Folk atm.
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This show had some amazing episodes and some really bad episodes. Too polarizing for me to keep watching after the second season. The main character is still one of my biggest crushes though
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Quote:
Originally posted by swiftie13
This show had some amazing episodes and some really bad episodes. Too polarizing for me to keep watching after the second season
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Bye, it's the best gay show ever and has helped me during my gay years. 
I'm currently on season 4 and it's almost done. 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Sorry, I was adding the other judges' comments to the timeline. Coming in a few!
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Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 18,803
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Quote:
Originally posted by MattyTacos
Bye, it's the best gay show ever and has helped me during my gay years.
I'm currently on season 4 and it's almost done. |
Are you straight now?
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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lovesong's Comments
Batch 1
Quote:
01. Kunst – Every Whisper (a rainforest, epeolatry)
I really got ‘rainforest’ which was good, but it was all laid out for me. That isn’t to say that you should make things vague and filed with obscure metaphors, but I don’t think you need to describe a rainforest so blatantly all the time. I think you did a fine job of interpreting the challenge and I liked the way you incorporated your word, however if instead of “practice my epeolatry there” you did “practice my epeolatry” it would have been perfect. Aside from that one line’s slight awkwardness, I really liked your chorus. There were other awkward lines (“trees high as the sky” / “words crept on my skin”) that stood out as well so I’d suggest checking for those.
02. jpow – Toxic Shocks (an electric shock, graveolent)
Your structure and meter was very tight. The way you incorporated your word was perfect, it felt natural and actually added value to the song, which is hard to do. I thought overall your song had a great sense of feeling to it and felt very meticulous; I really loved your concept and how you interpreted it. I did feel like there were some awkward lines in terms of word choice – “disastrous faux pas”, “thoughts made a swap” etc. They just stood out as being kind of vague, I wasn’t sure what you were trying to get at there and I wonder if you could have rearranged words or used different ones for something more effective.
03. TheCheetahwings – Rose (a graveyard, securiform)
This was really well written, and very eloquent. I was instantly hooked by the first verse and you kept that momentum all the way through. You managed to incorporate your word very smoothly and it actually added a really cool layer to your song. I appreciated how you kept the imagery really dark to match the tone but didn’t go overboard since that can be easy to do. A few lines – “words never spoken she could never forget” could use some minor tweaks for smoothness, but overall you did a really great job!
04. ausdaniel – Were Only Beautiful (a waterfall, vafrous)
You definitely fit your concept well though at times I felt a bit scattered. I feel like that could be because there was almost too much imagery, and too many metaphors, that I wasn’t entirely sure what the song’s main theme was. Overall there were both good lines and not so good lines. I liked “downstream of passion”, “plummet to the end”, and “tiny little waves” for example a lot – they used imagery effectively but had enough substance to them to back it up. On the other hand, “no point in tranquil”, “beauty of Niagara”, “deafen like thunder” felt a bit confusing. It’s a good start, but I think polishing it up would make it really excel.
05. Vulnicura – <Untitled> (a volcano, hierodule)
I think you had one of the harder words/concept pairings to incorporate, but I like what you did with it. The gods references were done well, but I fear it could be overwhelming to the point where it becomes almost gimmicky. I liked certain lines a lot - “trace my outline with your hand” for example was beautiful. I would love to see more lines like this, and less of the literal lines that try a bit too hard to hammer in the concept. The way you brought in volcano however was simply spectacular, very creative yet still fits in with the theme.
06. Achilles. – Telegony (Forgotten Son) (a nightmare, telegony)
I was getting Madonna teas with the “Oh Father” references,  , but I really liked that part at the same time because it gives the song a cool sense of dialogue. Your imagery is great, not overdone, but still effective to really set the mood. I like the repetition of the first line of each verse. You’ve incorporated the concept and the word well. I think it might have been even better if it was just a bit darker and instead of just explaining what the narrator is going through, it had a bit more of feeling what the narrator is going through.
07. ClarksonSlays – Thunderbolt (a thunderstorm, megascopic)
I recall you having a lot of struggle with incorporating your word into the song but I have to say you really pulled through. It felt very natural and fit into the concept well. I like the imagery and I like how you kind of took it into a sexy direction. The last line of the chorus was kind of strange to me, it felt a bit odd - “struck by our thunderbolts” – I get what you’re going for but it wasn’t as convincing as some of the others. I did like rhyming “halt/thunderbolt” though. One other concern I have is that the verses are a bit too short and it might have been nice if they were more fleshed out.
08. swiftie13 – Genesis (a premonition, quietism)
Listening to Grimes as I type this. So you had one of the easier pairings of the bunch, but still you managed to . It was low-key super long, to the point where I didn’t think it needed to be that long. I do like how you took the song but it was also kind of crazy at times. I was a little unconvinced about how it would flow rhythmically with some of the word choices. I do like how you incorporated your word and the concept though, it’s bold, it’s significant, and a very creative approach.
09. 8thPrince – What in the World (a satellite, fylfot)
Let me get this out of the way – you are so uniquely you and I LOVE it. This song was just another example of how you can take a concept and really create something ingenious out of it. Your word was well immersed and I like the way you played with certain words – “lazy flybys in alien skies”, “streetlights at daybreak”, and especially “waltzed through watercolour nebulas” which is one of my favourite lines in the entire season so far. Spectacular job.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Quote:
Originally posted by swiftie13
Are you straight now?
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Let me rephrase that, it helped me as a young gay
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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lovesong's Comments
Batch 2
Quote:
10. MattyTacos – Cant Feel Anymore (an oasis, uberty)
Cool way of interpreting your word, and I liked how you took an oasis and related it to love. The chorus however was somewhat weak; it kind of felt like a first round song in that it’s a little too simple and doesn’t quite offer enough to really take your song to new heights. The rhyming that you used throughout was too obvious at times that it kind of took the fun out of the song. I would prefer some more experimentation and creativity in those areas. I think in terms of getting the concept and fitting the challenge’s criteria, you did it, but the actual song itself was probably not one of your strongest.
11. ceremonials – Gasoline (a vineyard, kelebe)
The direction you took was interesting but I don’t know about how you incorporated the word itself; it was a little too awkward. There were some nice lines but it was also just a little unpolished to me. Some of the word choices and placements just didn’t make sense and I think if you had used another word at times it would have been more effective. I like the metaphor, and I like the imagery, but there were a few language issues.
12. Buyonce1814 – Rebel Kings (a ghost town, boreen)
Great chorus, especially in terms of how you used the concept of a ghost town. It was creative and worked well with your song. As a plus the special word was incorporated nicely and added to the sense of adventure. I liked some of the imagery but I would suggest polishing things like structure to keep things a bit tighter. I also think the “we’re rebels/big devils” would have been really good in your chorus!
13. Moonchild – Starcrossed (a remote village, zendik)
Yass. You always have such sophisticated writing, and it feels so polished and eloquent. You put the word in nicely and it all felt really natural. I like the concept and I like how you used “starcrossed” and the forbidden aspect. It had great imagery and unique rhyming, and all the stylistic choices were on-point. I like to see how you have incorporated some of the past feedback and really grew as a writer. Keep it up!
14. UFO – Awakened (an earthquake, alveary)
As a little aside, I love the word you had – it’s my new favourite word nn. Back to your song, your strongest suit – imagery – was used perfectly. Everything was meticulous, and it all had purpose, nothing was overdone or unnecessary. I love your chorus and it did a great job of incorporating your concept. But the best parts were the verses. That second verse was just perfect, especially with some unique lines and imagery like “dance with the daffodils”.
15. Dylobs – Im Prepared (a spiritual awakening, isagogic)
You definitely nailed the challenge, and I like the way you interpreted spiritual awakening. I feel like there was opportunity for more, but it is a good start. Your word choice was nice, and I like the sort of abstract approach you took. I was kind of hoping for some more unique rhyming – it was all very similar. Not necessarily the worst thing ever, but it might have made the song a bit more creative.
16. Element – Float Away (a balloon, paragoge)
I was thinking of the ANTi cover at first . So I like the way you interpreted your concept and the atmosphere you set up was cool. I’m sceptical of the way your word was used. It was one of the harder ones to incorporate and I don’t think you really got that in here. However, the structure is great and I liked a few of the lines. As per usual your song has all the technical elements, and meter is very focused. The overall song however was just too bare and needed a little bit more to really make it convincing.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Quote:
10. MattyTacos – Cant Feel Anymore (an oasis, uberty)
Cool way of interpreting your word, and I liked how you took an oasis and related it to love. The chorus however was somewhat weak; it kind of felt like a first round song in that it’s a little too simple and doesn’t quite offer enough to really take your song to new heights. The rhyming that you used throughout was too obvious at times that it kind of took the fun out of the song. I would prefer some more experimentation and creativity in those areas. I think in terms of getting the concept and fitting the challenge’s criteria, you did it, but the actual song itself was probably not one of your strongest.
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Yeah, I see what you mean about the chorus and I personally think the pre-chorus was much stronger and probably could've worked as a chorus better if I edited it a tad more. I'm glad you actually somewhat liked it though. 
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 6,127
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godsong  thank you for the feedback!
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 18,319
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 2,955
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Who guessed this for Huga's hints?
"1. Achilles. - 4th
2. Ausdaniel - 2nd
3. Buyonce1814 - 15th
4. Ceremonials - 5th
5. ClarksonSlays - 10th
6. Dylobs - 3rd
7. Element - 9th
8thPrince - 13th
9. Jpow - 7th
10. Kunst - 14th
11. MattyTacos - 16th
12. Moonchild - 6th
13. Swiftie13 - 1st
14. TheCheetahWings -11th
15. UFO - 8th
16. Vulnicura - 12th"
because THERES NO WAY IN HELL I COULD BE 2ND WITH HUGA BASED ON THOSE COMMENTS!
Also, I seriously can't win. Lovesong tells me I used too many metaphors when all the other judges have complained about my lack of metaphor all season :/ I don't know who I should aim to please 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Reviews:
Lovesong - Mixed
Meowster - Positive
Hugamari - Negative
GotSkill - Negative
Sam - ?
Come thru, zaddy Sam
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Quote:
08. swiftie13 – Genesis (a premonition, quietism)
Listening to Grimes as I type this. So you had one of the easier pairings of the bunch, but still you managed to (TO WHAT BETCH?). It was low-key super long, to the point where I didn’t think it needed to be that long. I do like how you took the song but it was also kind of crazy at times. I was a little unconvinced about how it would flow rhythmically with some of the word choices. I do like how you incorporated your word and the concept though, it’s bold, it’s significant, and a very creative approach.
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Is there a part that's missing here?
Also mess at this being in your top 6 when it low key feels like a drag until the the last line. Thanks for the feedback though!
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,500
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Quote:
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This was really well written, and very eloquent. I was instantly hooked by the first verse and you kept that momentum all the way through. You managed to incorporate your word very smoothly and it actually added a really cool layer to your song. I appreciated how you kept the imagery really dark to match the tone but didn’t go overboard since that can be easy to do. A few lines – “words never spoken she could never forget” could use some minor tweaks for smoothness, but overall you did a really great job!
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Thank you  I'm glad you liked it.
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