[Soeplepel]

Originally posted by DevonDreams

you're trolling

People can't read, that's all. Try posting an argument next time

[monsterLd]

Originally posted by DevonDreams

You can be gay and not be apart of the LGBT+ community.

But the LGBT+ community supports all LGBT+ whether or not they themselves identify in those categories. Stop with your **** excuses because I find them rather disturbing to think you would exclude someone based on the fact they are attracted to certain types.

[Shizuka]

Originally posted by Soeplepel

Where exactly did I say 'being gay is a type' ?? I said that type of guys as in guys that are feminine... Keep up and stay focused. Maybe if you try harder you'd make sense at some point

NO you need to keep up. I'm not talking about fems, read everything I said AGAIN and you try harder next time.

I'm not in this fem convo, and if you read any post you replied to me with you see I made no mention of fems.

I'm talking about him being a straight chaser who said he isn't into gay men. Good god get a grip girl!

[JessLM]

Originally posted by Shizuka

Exactly, and as someone who is a gay man, he's rejecting loads of different types of men just who share the same attraction as him but would rather chase men who by definition aren't wanting him.

It's pretty simple!

[swissman]

How are you going to argue that a man has to be 100% straight seeming in order for you to be attratced to him and then argue that it's nothing to do with the fact that gayness is looked down upon by society?

[Pikachoo]

I... have this problem

But I know my issue is internalised and also insecurity because I grew up with evanglical christians and was taught to believe gay people go to hell because it's a sin. But what if I fully accept my sexuality and I'm not good looking enough to find someone? So there's also this fear of rejection..
to OP, don't be mad at him. continue to talk to him and be a friend.

[Soeplepel]

Originally posted by Shizuka

NO you need to keep up. I'm not talking about fems, read everything I said AGAIN and you try harder next time.

I'm not in this fem convo, and if you read any post you replied to me with you see I made no mention of fems.

I'm talking about him being a straight chaser who said he isn't into gay men. Good god get a grip girl!

But you're replying to something I said was about feminine yet falsely claimed I said something I didn't...

He is just not into that type of guys.

Being a gay man isn't a type,

I said that type of guys as in guys that are feminine

[DevonDreams]

Originally posted by monsterLd

But the LGBT+ community supports all LGBT+ whether or not they themselves identify in those categories. Stop with your **** excuses because I find them rather disturbing to think you would exclude someone based on the fact they are attracted to certain types.

You can continue to find it "disturbing," because I don't care.
I exclude racists too.

[swissman]

Originally posted by DevonDreams

You can continue to find it "disturbing," because I don't care.
I exclude racists too.

!

[Mhs90]

Originally posted by swissman

I know it can be hard to admit when you discriminate, but believe me, all humans do it. You need to admit it, see it and try to change it.

At the very least if you have a preference, why do you need to advertise it like it's something people should know. I'm sure there are many other things that you don't like about people that don't attract you to them, but peopled don't outline that. They outline hurtful, unchangeable things like race or level of perceived masculinity.

I understand that you should always be open. But there are some people like me who choose to have a life partner of the same race because of their desire to perserve language heritage cultural traditions in the family...To have a connection over a similar upbringing. It doesnt make me racist if I choose to exclude people out of my dating circle if theyre not my ethnicity.

As far as masculinity or body shape, it doesn't harm anybody to let people know what you're looking for. Whether it be a wrong or right mindset to have specifics, that's why it's called having a "match". Being discriminatory in that sense is fine but in no way makes it narrow minded, bigoted, or harmful through the way you described.

[swissman]

Honestly, saying that having a “preference” for straight-seeming men isn’t internalized homophobia is like saying that homophobes just have a “preference” for straight people. I don’t care if you say you have femme friends, because people often see who they date and love as an extension or reflection of themselves, your preference also suggest homophobia.

[Shizuka]

Originally posted by Soeplepel

But you're replying to something I said was about feminine yet falsely claimed I said something I didn't...

You replied to me wrong way before that hun, go back even more.

http://atrl.net/?p=36543972

[Sazare]

Originally posted by DevonDreams

You can continue to find it "disturbing," because I don't care.
I exclude racists too.

ahh

[swissman]

Originally posted by Mhs90

I understand that you should always be open. But there are some people like me who choose to have a life partner of the same race because of their desire to perserve language heritage cultural traditions in the family...To have a connection over a similar upbringing. It doesnt make me racist if I choose to exclude people out of my dating circle if theyre not my ethnicity.

As far as masculinity or body shape, it doesn't harm anybody to let people know what you're looking for. Whether it be a wrong or right mindset to have specifics, that's why it's called having a "match". Being discriminatory in that sense is fine but in no way makes it narrow minded, bigoted, or harmful through the way you described.

So imagine this situation:

Someone: Hey do you want to go on a date?
You: Sorry I don't date black people.

That sounds very not racist right?

The idea that you need to preserve your culture is dangerous and has lead to many awful things in history. The idea that the "other" is a threat to you is racist and xenophobic. You can preserve your language heritage even with a black person or person of any race. If it's that important to you that they know a certain language then you'll make it happen without having to discriminate people only for the fact that they don't speak a language they can learn.

[Soeplepel]

Originally posted by Shizuka

You replied to me wrong way before that hun, go back even more.

http://atrl.net/?p=36543972

Nope I didn't

Originally posted by shizuka

if he likes men but doesn't like gay men in general..

Who says he doesn't like gay men? He says he's not attracted to feminine gays yet he fancies guys

You can always use Google translate next time

[Mhs90]

Originally posted by swissman

Honestly, saying that having a “preference” for straight-seeming men isn’t internalized homophobia is like saying that homophobes just have a “preference” for straight people. I don’t care if you say you have femme friends, because people often see who they date and love as an extension or reflection of themselves, your preference also suggest homophobia.

You should care because otherwise you're equating these individuals with that preference with people who have hatred towards any type of gay groups which is a real definition of homophobia.

Aknowledging youre not attracted to feminine gays doesnt make you ignorant. It's the opposite. Whether it's due to upbringing or what society teaches us may be implicated but you can't undo the mindset of attraction.

[Mhs90]

Originally posted by swissman

So imagine this situation:

Someone: Hey do you want to go on a date?
You: Sorry I don't date black people.

That sounds very not racist right?

The idea that you need to preserve your culture is dangerous and has lead to many awful things in history. The idea that the "other" is a threat to you is racist and xenophobic. You can preserve your language heritage even with a black person or person of any race. If it's that important to you that they know a certain language then you'll make it happen without having to discriminate people only for the fact that they don't speak a language they can learn.

It is definitely possible to perserve it with someone outside your race. But to equate me with a racist by choosing not to have romantic relations with a white or black dude is outrageous. End of story. Revisit the definition of racism.

[swissman]

Originally posted by Mhs90

You should care because otherwise you're equating these individuals with that preference with people who have hatred towards any type of gay groups which is a real definition of homophobia.

Aknowledging youre not attracted to feminine gays doesnt make you ignorant. It's the opposite. Whether it's due to upbringing or what society teaches us may be implicated but you can't undo the mindset of attraction.

Even if you can't undo the mindset of attraction (you can, the more open minded you become the less fragile masculinity matters), if you are indeed not ignorant, then you would not advertise your preference and promote the idea that masculinity is the ideal.

That's just foolish. If you're not ignorant then don't act it.

[Soeplepel]

Originally posted by swissman

So imagine this situation:

Someone: Hey do you want to go on a date?
You: Sorry I don't date black people.

That sounds very not racist right?

You have been spinning words this evening, I can't even deal.

He never said he would refuse to date because they're black.. He's only not attracted to black people...
Me neither, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't go out with black people.. at all

[swissman]

Originally posted by Mhs90

It is definitely possible to perserve it with someone outside your race. But to equate me with a racist by choosing not to have romantic relations with a white or black dude is outrageous. End of story. Revisit the definition of racism.

Is it really that outrageous to cite racism when someone says that they choose to not have a relationship withs someone black, because of no other reason than they are black? I don't think I'm the one who needs to revisit the definition of racism.