Thank god my dog begged me for a walk or else I probably would have been insulting people (contestants and artists submitted this season) left and right because I've how upset I am. This is the ONLY time I've ever actually CRIED...yes...CRIED over something ATRL related, and it's the first time since my relationship that I've actually cried over something in public. This is one of the few tournaments I've participated in that I've actually managed to do well in, and last enough to where if I got eliminated, there wouldn't have been much time left in the game anyway. And at the same time, most of the songs I sent in were liked by the people that were part of that season, and even if I sent a song that didn't do as well, I had another big song that round that people really liked that saved me. And last season I did pretty well as well.
But I'm one of those competitors that want to do better the next time. Which is why this season I've really wanted to get a #1 song AND place higher than #4 overall and I thought the songs I sent in were really good. But it's like no matter what I sent in this season, it's like I was never good enough and no one really liked my songs enough to place them in their top 3 or top five even, except with Meghan and Selena.
And not to mention, mxtthewdelrey's comments seemed to always punch at my songs, and i never made the Top 10 of his rank...and now that I'm gone...and especially since he threw Kristinia under the bus, I never will. I never even got to see what my highest scoring song was with him, because probably hated about half of my entries. and even with last round, with 12 contestants left, I was still in the bottom two and that hurt.
In addition, it's like you have to have belting/powerhouse vocals this season in order to do well (Katharine, Stacie, Haley) and all the ballads that don't have them just get paid dust or called bland. Not to mention, we also have prezli, who stans for Ashlee Simpson, call the song I sent in by her generic, so it's like I could never impress her either. Or Santaus.
It's like, you need a ballad to survive, but you need apparently a "slaying" one to stay in, and not a "bland" one. Because apparently you won't go Top 2 with something uptempo and it's just....the main reason I love this game is because i get to showcase songs I'm into. So this season really broke my confidence because it's like my taste wasn't good enough
to where I broke down in tears while walking my dog...the ONLY time I've cried over an ATRL related thing.
I've had ANGRY meltdowns, but I've never cried over anything on this site. So for me to do that over this says something.
I mean, I've cheated death before in this game, and I can do it again, but with 25 contestants, and so many judgemental people this season, I've really lost much hope. And it will probably be winter before another season comes around.
Then I realized it was a bonus track on a fan bundle of her debut album 
But I love it 
One song by her I'll never get to send 
