Quote:
Originally posted by Joaquin
hmmm I'd like to know more about this, but from your perspective.
how'd you describe "bipolar disorder"?
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terrible
it's basically being in two types of phases, manic and depressive. when i'm manic i have a ton of energy but i also have really high anxiety and a ton of mood swings, while when i'm depressive i feel really terribly sad and have no energy at all. there's also something called a "mixed episode" that i'm pretty sure i'm having right now where you get elements of both. that's the simplified version of it.
mania is like...your mind is moving faster than you keep up with. you have a ton of thoughts at once in reaction to everything and things get jumbled and confused and it's really hard to stop moving physically, too. and random things that shouldn't be a big deal suddenly make you really upset and angry and you feel a vague sense of irritation most of the time. that's how it is for me
while depressive phases are just really horrible. it's pretty simple for me: i just feel like crap for a long time. i don't want to do anything to the point that even taking pills is almost too much effort. everything that happens just keeps making me feel worse as i start interpreting everything in a really negative way. i want to sleep all the time, and trying to take care of myself or do things in my life just feels like a useless bother. yeah, these phases aren't fun.
also i just looked outside and there's a terrible thunderstorm going on with pounding rain and high wind and a lot of lightning and it shows me that nature feels bad just like me right now
Anyways. Lemme go run a bath and calm myself down.
I like some classical but I'm not at that point where I can just let go of the familiar structure of modern music and just let the music take me where it wants me to go, if that makes sense.
