ANNOUNCER: Already the most-streamed song of all time on Spotify, "Lean On" is now an ATRL Grammy winner, too! Congratulations to Diplo, Switch, DJ Snake and MØ! She looks very excited about this win.
And now to announce the winner of Best New Artist, put your hands together for St. Charles!
Hiya, everyone. It's your guy Ryan here. Welcome to the third annual ATRL Grammy's. Tonight, I was asked to host the Best New Artist category. The word "host" can sometimes be used to mean hosting gay hookups; but I am not gay, so that's obviously not what I meant. Stop accusing me...
I'm just going to read the nominees, now. But when I say "read," I don't mean the term in such a way that suggests I'm going to "tell someone off." That word is used a lot as gay slang. And since I'm not gay, I didn't meant it that way...
So here are the nominees for Best New Artist.
Alessia Cara
First up is Alessia Cara. Her new song "Here" was probably the most viral song of 2015. It went on to peak at #5 on the Billboard Hot 100, which is something some of your faves can no longer do. Anyways, since I am straight, I am attracted to her. She's 19, so she's just my type... Anyways, I hope she wins this because she's very talented.
Fetty Wap
Next up is Fetty Wap. He broke out onto the scene around 2015 with his song "Trap Queen," which blasted to #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. He went on to get more top ten hits with songs like "My Way" and "679." He is easily the most successful new artist from this batch, which definitely makes him a strong contender for the win. Also, I'm not gay.
Jamie xx
Now we have Jamie xx. For those of you who don't know him, he is a part of the band The xx, and is also probably straight like me. In 2015, he went to the studio to work on his first official studio album. It peaked at #3 on the Official UK Charts and sold decently well. I'm not gay. It also regularly made the top 15 of the critics' "Best Albums of 2015" lists. His critical acclaim makes him a serious candidate for this award, since we're very anxious to hear more music from him.
Natalie Prass
While not as successful as Alessia or Fetty Wap, yet perhaps not as critically acclaimed as Jamie xx, Natalie still appears to be a promising artist. Like Charlie Puth, she attended the Berklee College of Music; and unlike Puth, who received a 37 on Metacritic (kii), her music is very well received, with her first effort pulling an 86 on the same site. Seriously, I've never even had sex with a guy.
Sam Hunt
Wooh, damn. Take a look at those arms. I mean... um... he seems like a bro, kinda like me. Call me, Sam, so we can hang out and do manly stuff together. Anyways, back to his legacy, Sam Hunt is an upcoming country music artist. Usually, it may take a while for an artist to become established. However, this was not the case for Sam. His very first album, "Montevallo," peaked at #1 on the Country Albums Chart, and #3 on the Billboard 200. It is certified 2x Platinum, which is twice as much as My Everything by Ariana Grande who called me a hunty last year. I'm not a hunty.