I. don't. care. I. f'love. this. song. and. video. It's hysterically bad, it has amazering choreography on treadmills, it has single entendres, it has the gay guy hitting on anything that moves, it has naughty airline stewardesses stripping a lad, it has a chubby pilot.
Douze Points a le Royame-Uni! until Ukraine sends their-certain-to-be-insane video
*in reality...for the Eurovision Video Contest, here's a flash from the recent past*
Top 10
01 Russia (new edit has ****ty 16 year olds, rather than teases. hurray for dirty old men!)
02 UK
03 Israel
04 Slovenia
05 Georgia
06 Turkey
07 Andorra
08 France
09 Finland
10 Denmark
Neg 10
01 Estonia
02 Poland
03 Greece
04 Lithuania
05 Cyprus
06 Spain
07 Montenegro
08 Sweden
09 Armenia
10 Bulgaria
Note: it is not being youtube'd here due to the fact that at the halfway point Verka finds the magical red glasses that cause clothes to fall off and titties to show up. Obviously not safe for work or school or for those under the age of 18 without parental consent or voided where prohibited after taxes. But I know you'll go there anyways as male hiney and womanly breasts are on display, so relax and enjoy.
Kyiv or Tbilisi or Moscow...Eurovision ain't heading West unless the Vampires Are Really Alive
Eastern European Takeover? Yay for **** from the East!
So the Semifinal from Eurovision happened earlier today and since I have the dial up from Satan's asshole, I couldn't watch it. But the feedback is humorous...of course, I'd boo too if I saw Latvia and Bulgaria make it to the Finals live. Apparently they booed Moldova's song and while that could be anger that the Czechs and Andorrans - both rock songs - were rejected I think this event could break the Eurovision family.
The last 10 joining the Eurovision finalists? (based on performance slot)
I'm happy with 6 of them - Slovenian dance opera, Hungarian blues, the bestest song in the contest from Georgia, Serbia and Moldova along with tolerating Turkey. But really Europe, is there a need for psudeoBond (Belarus probably won the semis too), Macedonia's humorous attempts at English and I'm disturbingly pissed that the shouty ******** from Bulgaria and that ridiculous Il Divo knockoff from Latvia took the other 4 slots. Andorra, Portugal, Switzerland and Malta were seriously robbed.
How does this affect the finals? Well Belarus next to Spain and Ireland killed all 3's chances, Macedonia and Slovenia and Hungary and Lithuania will be forgotten by Greece - the big winner of the draw, Georgia is after Greece and before Sweden, so swordplay will definitely be needed, Latvia has aided France a lot by following them and coming before Russia - also helped out. Serbia comes before the other favorite Ukraine and it could be a battle between them...but helping the UK provided their vocals go well. Turkey and Moldova benefit a lot by surrounding Armenia and should kill it's shot.
Predicting the final 24...and bet on the Finns booing the **** out of the Eastern songs and screaming like crazy for themselves, Spain, Ireland, Sweden (which they would never do), France, Germany and the UK:
01. Serbia
02. Ukraine
03. Russia
04. Belarus
05. Bosnia & Herzegovina
06. Hungary
07. Sweden
08. Turkey
09. UK
10. Greece - both the UK and Greece have the advantage of being kicky pop songs and the number of ballads and **** will help.
11. Germany
12. Slovenia
13. France
14. FYR Macedonia
15. Finland
16. Bulgaria - and if there was a god, this would finish only before Latvia and Armenia. But they made it so what do I know.
17. Georgia
18. Romania
19. Moldova
20. Ireland
21. Lithuania
22. Spain - Belarus just killed them
23. Latvia
24. Armenia
And predicting how things will happen next year:
I expect A LOT of Western Europe to withdraw, since the split semis don't happen til 2009 and that's a blind draw which I supported until this happened. Portugal, Andorra, Austria, Netherlands and Denmark are most likely done for now and a poor result by the Big 4 could see a UK and French pullout. Regardless, this years results dictate a need to fix the system if they want Luxembourg and Italy to rejoin and keep the rest in before every year is in the East.
Nobody booed when each country presents their song. I watched the hole show and this is the review:
Bulgaria: nothing new in the show but Elitsa had a lot of failures with the "high" notes and she showed she was tired, well at least her voice did.
Israel: I didn't like it but now I love it. The unique problem with Teapack is that the rap part was out of time.
Cyprus: I don't like Evridiki but she did it well. Her show was to simple until the guitar solo. Her voice was excellent and she was the first to say "Thank You Europe"
Belarus: I know you hate Koldun but his performance was excellent. He failed the last high note. The dancers are the reason why Koldun is in the final.
Iceland: Eirikur was excellent, he really felt the emotions of the song. The performance had more guitars than the original, was more heavier.
Georgia: She was gorgeous and didn't fail anything. Her dress and her painted tatoo were pretty awesome.
Montenegro: The first impression of Stevan that I had was that he was a japanese with a bad hair color and singing in japanese-serb. The back singers were better because the girls were more prettier.
Switzerland: The vocals of the girl were not very well, and she didn't the hole choreography, by the way DJ Bobo didn't fail.
Moldova: She demonstrates that has the best voice of Eurovision until now (Serbia comes later). She did her 3 high notes and the people went crazy. The background Moldova used was very atractive (also Montenegro)
The Netherlands: Edislia showed EXTREMELY SECURITY on the stage but the background singers/dancers were stupid.
Albania: Frederick did a great job. The dress of his wife was beautiful and she did great back vocals. There was a girl playing the violin and she was crazy.
Denmark: The same of the video, presentation on the Danish selection. The only thing added was that has 3 dress-changes
Croatia: the frontwoman of Dragonfly reminds me to A-D-O-R-A. This song looks and sounds old. Like the 80's.
Poland: Natasha and David did it well. It wasn't boring. The fireworks didn't work very well. The flames in the show was the best of it.
Serbia: Gosh, perfectly! only she changed the high notes when she sang "Molitva". Her chorus (5 girls) where great. Really, it was awesome
Czech Republic: Kabat was excellent. The presentation was too simple. The lead singer only walked from side to side and sing. The background was almost the same Moldova used.
Portugal: The high notes of Sabrina were softer, she smiled at all the time and she dance. The sang the international song (portuguese, french, spanis & english)
F.Y.R. Macedonia: If you watch the Macedonian final preselection, it's the same. Only changed the colour of the dress and her hairstyle and perhaps EBU didn't permit that Macedonia sang in english, Karolina did it.
Norway: Guri presented the same as Mision Eurovision's gala and the final preselection of the country. But instead of showing 2 dress changes, she presents 3 and with long hair.
Malta: Olivia presented a very well show, good songs, great dress. Reminds me to Andorra's entry 2005 "La Mirada Interior" from Marian Van De Wal
Andorra: When Niki (the leader of Anonymous) sang the slowly part of the song, the audience went crazy. It was amazing.
Hungary: gosh, Magdi is better than Marija Serifovic (Serbia). Like Eirikur, she showed the emotions and feelings. And she didn't wear shoes.
Estonia: Gerli Padar's presentation was boring, the only thing is that she can sing and reach high notes.
Belgium: The KMG's presentation was enjoyable. They reminded me Scissor Sisters. Not great but not bad.
Slovenia: I don't need to say much, she performed very well and she was happy.
Turkey: Kenan didn't dance well, it was a copy of Sertab Erener mixed with Gulseren and the background saying "SHAKE IT" reminding Sakis Rouvas.
Austria: It's was OK.
Latvia: It was really bored but they think that Italian works and it worked.
My Top 10 without order:
Belarus
Georgia
Andorra
Hungary
Moldova
Serbia
Portugal
Slovenia
Cyprus
Malta
F.Y.R. Macedonia, Lativa, Turkey & Bulgaria didn't deserve to pass
A lot of countries were better like Andorra, Portugal, Cyprus, Malta, Iceland, Czech Republic but whatever
I will laugh a lot if UK will get a better position than FYR Macedonia. In 2004, The Netherlands pass the semifinal but lasted at the bottom 3 if I'm not wrong
Spain will get votes from Andorra, Poland, Sweden and maybe central.
Ireland only points from UK & Albania
Armenia - Russia
Greece - Cyprus
I will shot myself if Andorra/Cyprus/Portugal got the 11th position & 12 position
General congrats to Serbia and their very good winner. Boo to the Bulgarian 5th place finish, Belarus making top ten and Greece placing higher than the UK.
Firstly, to ADORA and all those who enjoyed or read the Eurovision Helsinki coverage. The Eurovision Belgrade coverage will start up again with Belarus and Albania come January...unless we get the mass exodus of the West soon
Secondly, if I can find someone who can compose music, I'm totally gonna submit a song to one of the open Eurovision contests - since the US are members of EBU, as long as the country has an open call I'm so submitting. If Bulgaria can finish 5th with their nonsense, I clearly can place well
Thirdly: and what I want to comment on.
I saw the new Linkin Park video and still plan on d/loading the album to check it out. But based on the video alone...can someone explain when Chester and the gang decided they wanted to be U2? It sounds like a U2 song, Chester looks like a very skinny leather daddy...or a poor Bono costume and the video just feels like something from How To Make Mikal Kill People...wait, How To Make An Atomic Bomb.
Yeah, even I was reminded of U2 when I saw the video. I do not think the song sounds like U2, but the video definitely reminds me of them. The song is sort of different but lyrically, it still seems like Linkin Park. If I figure out when they decided to remind people of U2, I shall let you know
Since technically Europe is preparing for Eurovision Dance Contest on Sept 1 and Junior Eurovision in December, it's sorta early for discussion. But there has been some movements as Europe slowly begins preparing for the Belgrade showcase of cheese. So this is the buzz going around and a breif discussion of how the 42...43..44...45...46? countries could be teasing palate of crap in just six months time
Eurovision Headlines
Split Semis In Belgrade?
The biggest headlines will come at the end of September, when the EBU will decide whether to move the two semifinals up a year to Belgrade. Enough complaining after Helsinki over the Western collapse as well as the general collapse of ratings in non-finalist countries and the sheer length of the semis has made them review moving it up. Which would hurt Moldova most, since the have no budget for competing really and need the guaranteed slot to justify staying in at least through Belgrade. Of course the host and the Big 4 (UK, Spain, France, Germany) will maintain their byes to the finals.
However, the EBU hasn't buckled to pressure to do a West/Est semi and plan on sticking with blind draws for the two semis, thereby breaking up the Nordic, Soviet and Yugoslav voting blocs and aiding non-allied nations like Malta, Iceland, Israel and Slovenia. I did agree with the dissenters at first but then regained my brain cells.and continued to support the random draw, although I think a blind draw for position of the finalists when presenting those who qualify would help as well.
The best plus for the semis? At least a 50% chance to make it to the Saturday showcase, rather than the slim 30% (which isn't real thanks to bloc votes and such) it currently holds.
In competitor news:
Israel's IBA had talked about quitting but are now believed to be working with their Pop Idol show to choose a competitor - pretty much identical to Ireland's early '00s style of picking.
Switzerland and Belgium have already begun their Eurovision search, since the Swiss don't do Jr'vision and Belgium's Eurovision entrant is being picked by the French station this year...or is it the Flemish...whoever didn't pick last year.
Malta pitched a fit and accused Albania and Georgia of vote-begging (without noticing Georgia gave Belgium a 12 and no amount of vote-switching would cause that random of a result) before getting over it and moving on to Song For Europe 2008.
Ireland caused holy hell when RTE chose to show their Dervish doc even after the act finished last in Helsinki. Hello, its called a contract! Anyways, RTE is looking at the Finnish example for their change in selecting the Eurovision song - their third change in selection this millennium.
In possible expanding the contest news
Azerbaijan's AzTV was rejected EBU membership (and thus Eurovision) due to state control issues but now Azerbaijan Public Television scored the EBU membership and should bring results from Baku in 2008. Which means at least we finally get some Caucas infighting, with Azerbaijan ignoring the Armenians and Georgians.
San Marino, a small county wrapped around by Italy, is seeing a petition by Eurovision fans to compete in 2008. San Marino has considered competing since Italy pulled out in '99 but has usually not submitted for the contest since RAI (Italy's Eurovision channel) has asked them to not compete. A rally in October could help push them into a Western debut this year.
Slovakia could be making a return...although they really haven't competed, if their money is fine from Slovak TV. Which would mean the Czechs could double their points earned to 2 next year.
The Palestinian Authority wants to join. I have no idea why, but they do. And a Danish tv channel (not DR) is helping them get to EBU code so they could join as early as 2009, when Lebanon gets off probation for withdrawing too late. Of course, the PA feed to Gaza could be limited with Hamas in control and Lebanon still ignores Israel, so I doubt either will be going there.
However, Morocco (of course they've competed, back in 1979) has a couple private - and therefore able to show Israel - channels as EBU members in talks about a 2009 or 2009 return as they push away from the Middle East and African influences.
No one has withdrawn. Yet. Although Moldova TV is broker than hell, Denmark's DR is also broke and could jet from Eurovision, and IBA has threatened to leave since it doesn't fit in their plans. Luxembourg has categorically ruled out a return, Italy could be teased, since they almost rejoined last year but need a split semi to be enticed, and I doubt Monaco will come back without a split semi. So we're somewhere between 44-47 contestants for 2008 and possibly up to 50 come 2009.
I'm from Malta, and thrust me everyone here treats the Eurovision as if it were a life or death issue! They take it too seriously and that's why they make such a stupid fuss! Stupid winner though!
I think Pop Idol works well in Eurovision. Look at Jessica Garlick in 2002 representing UK. She got 4th (the best result since 2000). Shiri Maimon from Israel brought back Israel and got 4th as well in 2005. Spain sent Operación Triunfo's alumni (like Spanish Idol) and got good results (Rosa in 2002 got 7th, Beth in 2003 got 8th and Ramón in 2004 got 10th).
Dmitry Koldun got the best result from Bulgaria and Dima Bilan tied Alsou's record from Russia (both are from a Russian Idol). Elena from Serebro was an alumni too and got 3rd.
I'm agree with two semifinals and the countries that are in the first semi-final, only can vote for those countries. The same for the second semi-final and allow to perform the Big 4 (2 in the first semi and 2 in the second semi, as interval acts).
The possible winners of the next edition can be Ukraine, Turkey and Russia.
Will do my spculation about entrants tonight or tommorow. Since it's fun to predict how random anything can be with 6 months to go before they start really picking things.
So along with the VMAs annoying the hell out of me come Tuesday, I also plan to be fully disappointed with Country Music's "biggest" night of the year.
So, since I know that things won't happen, I shall guess who should be nommed, and who will be annoying me by scoring nods. Hurray for a shitload of Carrie and Rascal noms!
Single of the Year
Should Be: "Famous In A Small Town" - Miranda Lambert, "It Just Comes Natural" - George Straight, "Like Red On A Rose" - Alan Jackson, "Don't Make Me" - Blake Shelton, "Want To" - Sugarland
Will Be: "Tim McGraw" - Taylor Swift, "Moments" - Emerson Drive, "Wasted" - Carrie Underwood, "Stand" - Rascal Flatts, "It Just Comes Natural" - George Straight
Song of the Year
Should Be: "Like Red On A Rose" - Alan Jackson, "Give It Away" - George Straight, "A Little More You" - Little Big Town, "God's Gonna Cut You Down" - Johnny Cash, "I Just Got Back From A War" - Darryl Worley
Will Be: "Moments" - Emerson Drive, "Wasted" - Carrie Underwood, "Like Red On A Rose" - Alan Jackson, "Give It Away" - George Straight, "Stand" - Rascal Flats
Music Video of the Year
Should Be: "God's Gonna Cut You Down" - Johnny Cash, "A Little More You" - Little Big Town, "Like Red On A Rose" - Alan Jackson, "High Maintenance Woman" - Toby Keith, "Settlin'" - Sugarland
Will Be: "Wasted" - Carrie Underwood, "Moments" - Emerson Drive, "(You Wanna Make) A Memory" - Bon Jovi, " " - Keith Urban, "" - Kenny Chesney
Carrie's scoring two vid nods, since I see Before He Cheats scoring a Best Female and BNA nod come the VMAs
Vocal Group of the Year
Should Be: Little Big Town, Rascal Flats,
Will Be: Emerson Drive, Rascal Flats, Little Big Town
Vocal Duo of the Year
Should Be: Sugarland, The Wreckers, Big & Rich,
Will Be: Brooks & Dunn, Sugarland, The Wreckers, Montgomery Gentry, Big & Rich
Male Vocalist of the Year
Should be: Alan Jackson, Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, Trace Adkins, George Straight
Will be: Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, Brad Paisley, Alan Jackson, Tim McGraw
Musical Event of the Year
Should Be: "Missing You" - Alison Krauss & John Waite, "Because of You" - Reba McEntire & Kelly Clarkson
Will Be: "I Need You" - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill, "Missing You" - Alison Krauss & John Waite, "Because of You" - Reba McEntire & Kelly Clarkson, "God and Me" - Josh Turner & Ralph Stanley, "Building Bridges" - Brooks & Dunn, Vince Gill and Sheryl Crow
Horizon Award
Should Be: Kellie Pickler, Jason Alden, Bucky Covington
Will Be: Taylor Swift, Kellie Pickler, Jake Owen, Jason Alden, Rodney Atkins
It's sad I'd rather have Carriebot 0.5 win over Tayor Swift and her odes of teenage annoyance.
Female Vocalist of the Year
Should be: Miranda Lambert, Martina McBride, Sara Evans, Alison Krauss,
Will Be: Carrie Underwood, Martina McBride, Taylor Swift, Faith Hill, Miranda Lambert
Why can't Carrie and Miranda swap careers? Miranda's more talented, personable, prettier and waaaaaaaaaay more kick-ass than the Countrybot.
Album of the Year
Should Be: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend by Miranda Lambert, 5th Gear by Brad Paisley, American V by Johnny Cash,
Will Be: 5th Gear by Brad Paisley, Between Raising Hell and Amazing Grace by Big & Rich, Let It Go by Tim McGraw, Lost Highway by Bon Jovi
I could see the CMA's oozing at the thought of a Bon Jovi sighting
Entertainer of the Year
Should Be: Keith Urban, Alan Jackson, Bad Paisley, George Straight, Big & Rich
Will Be: Alan Jackson, Kenny Chesney, Brad Paisley, Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban
Also know as DUHHHHHHHHH!
*note I didn't do full nods in all cuz I couldn't think of fillers*
So, cuz I hate that MTV feels that eXposed and The EX Factor and NEXT are woirth more time than, say, what the M in MTV stands for (that's MUSIC, not money or morons), lets review what should win at the "Video" "Music" "Awards"!
Monster Single Of The Year
Avril Lavigne "Girlfriend"
Daughtry "Home"
Fall Out Boy "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs"
Lil' Mama "Lip Gloss (No Music)"
T-Pain f/ Yung Joc "Buy You A Drank"
Timbaland f/ Keri Hilson "The Way I Are"
MIMS "This Is Why I'm Hot"
Plain White T's "Hey There Delilah"
Rihanna f/ Jay Z "Umbrella"
Shop Boyz "Party Like A Rockstar"
Also why Mikal hates MTV. At least we can pretend collabo and quad threat are about the videos. Single imples Single, not video.
Should Win: None of the above. If forced, "Way I Are"
Will Win: Umbrella
Female Artist Of The Year
Amy Winehouse
Beyonce
Fergie
Nelly Furtado
Rihanna
Huh. Dunno who wins, sorta don't care.
Should Win: Amy Winehouse
Will Win: Beyonce
Best New Artist Of The Year
Amy Winehouse
Carrie Underwood
Gym Class Heroes
Lily Allen
Peter Bjorn and John
So odd, expected Daughtry here. Shocked to see Peter Bjorn and John here, since I thought MTV doesn't listen until they gets a wad of cash or head from Pete Wentz.
Should Win: Amy Winehouse
Will Win: Amy Winehouse
Best Choreography In A Video
Beyonce f/ Shakira "Beautiful Liar"
Chris Brown "Wall To Wall"
Ciara "Like A Boy"
Eve "Tambourine"
Justin Timberlake "Sexy Back" or "My Love"
If it's really My Love, there's no contest. If it's choreographed strutting, who cares.
Should Win: My Love (if in), Like A Boy (if not)
Will Win: My Love (if in), Beautiful Liar (if not)
Best Group
Fall Out Boy
Gym Class Heroes
Linkin Park
Maroon 5
White Stripes
Poor White Stripes. Great video, great song, bound to be ignored by new ****** taste
Should Win: White Stripes
Will Win: Gym Class Heroes
Video Of The Year
Amy Winehouse "Rehab" (agree somehow)
Beyonce "Irreplaceable" (agree)
Justice "D.A.N.C.E." (idk I've never seen it but I guess I should check it out)
Justin Timberlake "What Goes Around...Comes Around" (definitely agree!)
Kanye West "Stronger" (definitely agree!)
Rihanna f/ Jay Z "Umbrella" (definitely agree!)
Did people WATCH videos? If this is "the best" then it's truly sad. Irreplaceable was static, WGA was crap compared to SexyBack or My Love, Umbrella is not that good, Stronger might be Kanye's worst video and I have never seen DANCE. Love Amy, love this vid but expecting it to fail.
Should win: Rehab
Will Win: What Goes Around...Comes Around
Male Artist Of The Year
Akon
Kanye West
Justin Timberlake
T.I.
Robin Thicke
OI. So we have a jackass, a moron, a good rapper and two white boys being mistaken for black men. None of which were exceptionally great but are sorta tolerable alone.
Should Win: T.I.
Will Win: Kanye West
Most Earthshattering Colaboration
Akon f/ Eminem "Smack That"
Beyonce f/ Shakira "Beautiful Liar"
Justin Timberlake f/ Timbaland "Sexy Back"
Gwen Stefani f/ Akon "The Sweet Escape"
U2 f/ Green Day "The Saints Are Coming"
...way to catch up with country music, but could you have picked a better year for those collabos? Since none were especially earthshattering and such.
Should Win: SexyBack
Will Win: The Sweet Escape
Quadruple Threat Of The Year
Beyonce
Bono
Jay Z
Kanye West
Justin Timberlake
And this means....?
Should Win: Who the **** cares? Seriously, can anyone explain why a celeb should win for being "busy"?
Will Win: Beyonce
Best Director
Beyonce f/ Shakira "Beautiful Liar" (Jake Nava)
Christina Aguilera "Candyman" (Mathew Rolston and Christina Aguilera)
Justin Timberlake "What Goes Around...Comes Around" (Samuel Bayer)
Kanye West "Stronger" (Hype Williams)
Linkin Park "What I've Done" (Joseph Hahn)
Rihanna f/ Jay Z "Umbrella" (Chris Applebaum)
Huh. Also shocked this made it. Of course it won't be aired (can't mess with Monster Single) but really none of the vids are strong enough to merit directing nods. If forced, I'd say Umbrella since it's mostly cognat and there's enough differing set pieces that tie together. Candyman is a close second, since not the best execution of all the dancing.
Should Win: Umbrella
Will Win: What Goes Around...Comes Around
Best Editing In A Video
Beyonce f/ Shakira "Beautiful Liar"
Gnarls Barkley "Smiley Faces"
Justin Timberlake "What Goes Around...Comes Around"
Kanye West "Stronger"
Linkin Park "What I've Done"
You gotta love cartoon editing. As well as the fact this tech category stayed and yet we lost Best Ringtone. Anyways, Bee and Shaki deserve the win if only cuz the video is shot well enough to hide that Beyonce dances like a wonky robot. Gnarls is the best of the edited videos, since Stronger is shoddily made, What I Done is a poor man's U2 and What Comes Around is boring editing.
to ADORA and all those who enjoyed or read the Eurovision Helsinki coverage. The Eurovision Belgrade coverage will start up again with Belarus and Albania come January...unless we get the mass exodus of the West soon 
