i had one in hs he always baited me and humped when we were alone in the class. i was so confused.. now that i think maybe he was bi. anyway he was hot . he used to hold me from back and whisper stuff in my ear. i miss him and his teases. i tried to catfish him later but didnt work. i miss u hunty
I talked about it on here before but I might as well share my story again, since all the stories in this thread made me super emotional. It's gonna be a long one.
So I had just finished 8th grade. My cousin ( a girl ) asked me to join the school's folk dance group. I'm not into folk dancing but I did it for her 'cause we were good friends and thought we could have some fun during the summer. And there I met this boy, who was 2 years younger than me. I was 15 at the time and he was 13, but he looked way older, he was pretty tall, well built, and had a very hairy body and even facial body, but he shaved. I didn't think of him much, he wasn't supper attractive back then but he was very nice and funny.
As the weeks passed, I realised how cool he was, but we hadn't become close or anything until mid summer when the group went on a summer camp at the seaside. We started talking more, my cousing was spending time with her girlfriends so I began to spend time with him and another guy my age from the group. We became friends and on that camp I realised I actually liked him.
So we came back home. My cousin was enrolled to a military highschool so she couldn't be part of the dance group anymore. The plan was I would quit it too, but because of him, I stayed.
Another offer came to our group and only 2 weeks before I was starting highschool we went to a dance festival in Turkey. Me and (let's call him John, cause that's the English version of his name) became really good friends. We stayed together in the bus, he would put his head on my shoulder and even on my lap to sleep because we travelled during night. I was catching real feeling for him, although I probably didn't know what love was at the time, I was still very young. We stayed in the same room but with other 2 boys as well and had different beds. We spent most of our trip together.
We came home and we started seeing eachother and hanging out even more, as he lives 5 minutes away by foot from me. I started highschool, I was a freshman and he was in 7th grade. Until November we were already bestfriends. Another offer came to our group and we went to a festival in Prague that November. We stayed in the bus together again, slept on eachother again and one girl said to us "you look like a couple". He didn't say anything. This time we were only 3 boys in a room, separate beds again, but after the first night he decided to unite his bed with mine so we could sleep together. We told horror stories that night and for some reason the other boy came into our bed as well. That nigh he put his arm on me. He was embracing me from behind. I didn't say a thing, just slept in awe. We were inseparable in that trip.
We came back home and we started to sleep together. I was 16 and he was 14 by the time. I met his familly, he met mine, we spent so much time together. We slowly started to spend the night together until we slept like 3 night a week or so together. We slept in only underwear and we would cuddle. We would eat together and watch movies together.
May came and we went to another festival in Rimini this time, in Italy. Same story again, stayed together in the bus, in the room, we actually had a king sized bed and a normal bed this time. f course we slept together in the double bed. Oh and I forgot to mention that we would spend much time alone, like, only the two of us, not with the other members of the group, although we were all good friend. Anyway, that trip to Rimini was very special, because that's when I made the courage to press my lips against his. It was night, we were sleeping, we were cuddled in bed, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought "I love you so much" and I kissed him. He was probably asleep and didn't feel it, or that's what I assumed.
At this point it was like a relationship in my head. We were super close, slept together multiple nights a week, we even started arguing, we were jealous when one would spend some time with other people, we fought, we argued, but we got back and such. That summer he had a crush on a girl who came in our town for the summer, but she left, I was super jealous, my fears were becoming true, he was straight. But the girl left, he didn't actually spent much time with her and we countinued our "thing".
So after that I realised that I actually loved this boy so much, I was in love, but it was eating me alive because although I knew he cared a lot for me, I somehow knew it was not the way I wanted him to. But I couldn't separate for him either, we were just too close and I was enjoying him so much to actually do something about it. It continued, we argued, we got back, we slept together, we cuddled, I would kiss him every night (although he was asleep and he didn't feel it, or he did';t say anything about it idk)and so on..
I was 17 and he was 15 now. That Christmas he wrote a letter to me in which he told me how much he cared about me and how he never wanted to separate from he. We spent the holidays together. I actually regret throwing it away now, it was a sweet memory of my high school years. But let's continue.
Summer came and we went the camp at the sea side again, in early September we went to Bulgaria. There were 2 separate beds and one extensible couch in our room, ofc we slept together on the extensible couch. It was like a dream to be. He was everything to me. My mother got suspicious I think, she used to mock me with "are you seeing your wife again?" but she was probably joking. She still does it to this day lol. I was very depressed when we argued and din't talk for days, everyone knew when we were apart lol.
So time passed, we grew up together, but we also started to fight more and more. We slowly distanced one from each other, things got cold between us, and I don't even remember how. Maybe because we made new friends or I don't know.. The thing is, I was feeling more and more depressed because I was afraid to confess my love to him. Although he gave me a lot of signs, I still feared he was actually straight.
I finished junior year and decided to do it. And I did. I confessed to him. He said it was not okay. I didn't tell him I was gay, just that I was in love with him. So we went different ways. I spent the summer without him, I was very depressed but I was willing to move on. He actually got a girlfriend that summer.
After three months without him everything seemed to go in the right direction. The separation was a hell for me but I was starting to feel better. I started my senior year of highschool. He was in his sophomore year. I would see him and his girlfriend at school but didn't pay much attention.
And last October he called me. Yes, he did. He wanted to spend some time together, I don;t know why but I agreed. We started seeing eachother again. He even invited me to hang out at his place again. I did. We were getting close again. Sometimes his girlfriend would be there as well. I realised I was still in love with him, deeply in love. I wanted to cut string off again. Things seemed to not be working well between him and his girlfriend but it was none of my business. One day after highschool he invited me at his place, and I refused, It was the first tine in a long while I refused him. ( well I actually made an excuse that I had to go somewhere but still )... After a few seconds of silence he said "I don't like this" and I asked "What?" and he said "That you have to go" ... I was melting inside but I said we will hang around another day. That evening, after a few hours he called me and said "Hey are you back home? Do you want to meet up".. I was on my way and although I wanted to refuse it I said "I'm coming to you".. That night he was acting super weird.. He asked me"Do you ever feel like you missed someone so much and you will always love them no matter what?". I was poker faced. I said "Is this about that girl you met that summer?" He looked me in the eyes, the moved his look away, a few seconds of silence and though "yes" came out of his mouth.. like he wanted to say something else but he decided not to.
I realised that I couldn't do this anymore. Like, what was even happening? He knew I was in love with him but he did all this for what? I decided to cut him off from my life again, he texted me, called me, but I stopped answering. He was straight.
I finished high school in June and I'm going to college next month. I'm slowly but surely moving on, although I still dream of him at night from time to time and he's still the one I think about when I listen to specific love songs. But I'm ready to start a new chapter in my life. I wish I could have taken some memories, but I deleted all the pics we had together ( he still has some on his Facebook profile, although he deleted most of them too), I threw away all the gifts from him... Maybe it was for the better. He was my first love. And although I know I will probably fall in love again someday, I will never love the same way again. I wasted 4 years of my life on him. But if I had the change to live again, I would still do it. He meant everything to me. If he came tomorrow at my door saying "I love you too, let's run away together" I wouldn't think twice.
I'm sorry for this embarassing long ass post but I wanted to write it down lol.
This is so sad. I'm so sorry. He obv isn't straight, he is/was just scared of his feelings :/
This is so sad. I'm so sorry. He obv isn't straight, he is/was just scared of his feelings :/
I don't know.. I heard he's seeing another girl now..
I forgot to mention he loved to play guitar. He's quite talented at it, but he's as bad as it can get at singing lol. And he would always sing to me, he looked me in the eyes while doing so. I never told him how awful he sounds because I just adored seeing him singing to me
The thought of him playing guitar to another person wreck me inside even to this day tbh, that's probably the sweetest memory I have of him
I don't know.. I heard he's seeing another girl now..
I forgot to mention he loved to play guitar. He's quite talented at it, but he's as bad as it can get at singing lol. And he would always sing to me, he looked me in the eyes while doing so. I never told him how awful he sounds because I just adored seeing him singing to me
The thought of him playing guitar to another person wreck me inside even to this day tbh, that's probably the sweetest memory I have of him
Doesn't exactly mean anything. It could be a cover-up. You said he and his previous girl had some issues, kinda makes sense if you think of it as a cover-up.
Oh wow, this is a tough one. Does he know you're gay? Maybe he can change his homophobic views over time. A lot of friends I've had have done the same (some changed to "I don't mind the gays, only the flamboyant gays" - it's a start ). Anyway, hopefully you sort all this out with him this year. If you're still willing to be friends with him because he's a nice person, I would say just try to get closer to him this year and see that develop even if you know nothing will ever happen. If it's frustrating to be around him though, maybe just try to be friendly from a distance.
No one knows that I'm gay, and it's not obvious from afar because I'm quite masculine.
I am willing to be friends with him, I just get mixed signals about whether he is as interested.
We did get pretty personal over FB, but then it suddenly stops or he gets cold or whatever.
I don't have a shortage of friends, but I just want to be friends with him nevertheless.
And he doesn't 'hate' gays, he doesn't agree with the idea of gays as it is contradicted with his religion he'd be fine with knowing gay people as long as he's away from 'gay activities'
Anyway, I'll see how London will be. I hope we'll be friends.
I don't know.. I heard he's seeing another girl now..
I forgot to mention he loved to play guitar. He's quite talented at it, but he's as bad as it can get at singing lol. And he would always sing to me, he looked me in the eyes while doing so. I never told him how awful he sounds because I just adored seeing him singing to me
The thought of him playing guitar to another person wreck me inside even to this day tbh, that's probably the sweetest memory I have of him
I talked about it on here before but I might as well share my story again, since all the stories in this thread made me super emotional. It's gonna be a long one.
So I had just finished 8th grade. My cousin ( a girl ) asked me to join the school's folk dance group. I'm not into folk dancing but I did it for her 'cause we were good friends and thought we could have some fun during the summer. And there I met this boy, who was 2 years younger than me. I was 15 at the time and he was 13, but he looked way older, he was pretty tall, well built, and had a very hairy body and even facial body, but he shaved. I didn't think of him much, he wasn't supper attractive back then but he was very nice and funny.
As the weeks passed, I realised how cool he was, but we hadn't become close or anything until mid summer when the group went on a summer camp at the seaside. We started talking more, my cousing was spending time with her girlfriends so I began to spend time with him and another guy my age from the group. We became friends and on that camp I realised I actually liked him.
So we came back home. My cousin was enrolled to a military highschool so she couldn't be part of the dance group anymore. The plan was I would quit it too, but because of him, I stayed.
Another offer came to our group and only 2 weeks before I was starting highschool we went to a dance festival in Turkey. Me and (let's call him John, cause that's the English version of his name) became really good friends. We stayed together in the bus, he would put his head on my shoulder and even on my lap to sleep because we travelled during night. I was catching real feeling for him, although I probably didn't know what love was at the time, I was still very young. We stayed in the same room but with other 2 boys as well and had different beds. We spent most of our trip together.
We came home and we started seeing eachother and hanging out even more, as he lives 5 minutes away by foot from me. I started highschool, I was a freshman and he was in 7th grade. Until November we were already bestfriends. Another offer came to our group and we went to a festival in Prague that November. We stayed in the bus together again, slept on eachother again and one girl said to us "you look like a couple". He didn't say anything. This time we were only 3 boys in a room, separate beds again, but after the first night he decided to unite his bed with mine so we could sleep together. We told horror stories that night and for some reason the other boy came into our bed as well. That nigh he put his arm on me. He was embracing me from behind. I didn't say a thing, just slept in awe. We were inseparable in that trip.
We came back home and we started to sleep together. I was 16 and he was 14 by the time. I met his familly, he met mine, we spent so much time together. We slowly started to spend the night together until we slept like 3 night a week or so together. We slept in only underwear and we would cuddle. We would eat together and watch movies together.
May came and we went to another festival in Rimini this time, in Italy. Same story again, stayed together in the bus, in the room, we actually had a king sized bed and a normal bed this time. f course we slept together in the double bed. Oh and I forgot to mention that we would spend much time alone, like, only the two of us, not with the other members of the group, although we were all good friend. Anyway, that trip to Rimini was very special, because that's when I made the courage to press my lips against his. It was night, we were sleeping, we were cuddled in bed, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought "I love you so much" and I kissed him. He was probably asleep and didn't feel it, or that's what I assumed.
At this point it was like a relationship in my head. We were super close, slept together multiple nights a week, we even started arguing, we were jealous when one would spend some time with other people, we fought, we argued, but we got back and such. That summer he had a crush on a girl who came in our town for the summer, but she left, I was super jealous, my fears were becoming true, he was straight. But the girl left, he didn't actually spent much time with her and we countinued our "thing".
So after that I realised that I actually loved this boy so much, I was in love, but it was eating me alive because although I knew he cared a lot for me, I somehow knew it was not the way I wanted him to. But I couldn't separate for him either, we were just too close and I was enjoying him so much to actually do something about it. It continued, we argued, we got back, we slept together, we cuddled, I would kiss him every night (although he was asleep and he didn't feel it, or he did';t say anything about it idk)and so on..
I was 17 and he was 15 now. That Christmas he wrote a letter to me in which he told me how much he cared about me and how he never wanted to separate from he. We spent the holidays together. I actually regret throwing it away now, it was a sweet memory of my high school years. But let's continue.
Summer came and we went the camp at the sea side again, in early September we went to Bulgaria. There were 2 separate beds and one extensible couch in our room, ofc we slept together on the extensible couch. It was like a dream to be. He was everything to me. My mother got suspicious I think, she used to mock me with "are you seeing your wife again?" but she was probably joking. She still does it to this day lol. I was very depressed when we argued and din't talk for days, everyone knew when we were apart lol.
So time passed, we grew up together, but we also started to fight more and more. We slowly distanced one from each other, things got cold between us, and I don't even remember how. Maybe because we made new friends or I don't know.. The thing is, I was feeling more and more depressed because I was afraid to confess my love to him. Although he gave me a lot of signs, I still feared he was actually straight.
I finished junior year and decided to do it. And I did. I confessed to him. He said it was not okay. I didn't tell him I was gay, just that I was in love with him. So we went different ways. I spent the summer without him, I was very depressed but I was willing to move on. He actually got a girlfriend that summer.
After three months without him everything seemed to go in the right direction. The separation was a hell for me but I was starting to feel better. I started my senior year of highschool. He was in his sophomore year. I would see him and his girlfriend at school but didn't pay much attention.
And last October he called me. Yes, he did. He wanted to spend some time together, I don;t know why but I agreed. We started seeing eachother again. He even invited me to hang out at his place again. I did. We were getting close again. Sometimes his girlfriend would be there as well. I realised I was still in love with him, deeply in love. I wanted to cut string off again. Things seemed to not be working well between him and his girlfriend but it was none of my business. One day after highschool he invited me at his place, and I refused, It was the first tine in a long while I refused him. ( well I actually made an excuse that I had to go somewhere but still )... After a few seconds of silence he said "I don't like this" and I asked "What?" and he said "That you have to go" ... I was melting inside but I said we will hang around another day. That evening, after a few hours he called me and said "Hey are you back home? Do you want to meet up".. I was on my way and although I wanted to refuse it I said "I'm coming to you".. That night he was acting super weird.. He asked me"Do you ever feel like you missed someone so much and you will always love them no matter what?". I was poker faced. I said "Is this about that girl you met that summer?" He looked me in the eyes, the moved his look away, a few seconds of silence and though "yes" came out of his mouth.. like he wanted to say something else but he decided not to.
I realised that I couldn't do this anymore. Like, what was even happening? He knew I was in love with him but he did all this for what? I decided to cut him off from my life again, he texted me, called me, but I stopped answering. He was straight.
I finished high school in June and I'm going to college next month. I'm slowly but surely moving on, although I still dream of him at night from time to time and he's still the one I think about when I listen to specific love songs. But I'm ready to start a new chapter in my life. I wish I could have taken some memories, but I deleted all the pics we had together ( he still has some on his Facebook profile, although he deleted most of them too), I threw away all the gifts from him... Maybe it was for the better. He was my first love. And although I know I will probably fall in love again someday, I will never love the same way again. I wasted 4 years of my life on him. But if I had the change to live again, I would still do it. He meant everything to me. If he came tomorrow at my door saying "I love you too, let's run away together" I wouldn't think twice.
I'm sorry for this embarassing long ass post but I wanted to write it down lol.
This made me cry
It reminded me of someone I was in love with a few years ago, unrequited love is a bitch
I can't believe I just embarassed myselft like that And I could go on with even more details My fingers were just running all over the keyboard
Omg sis I just finished reading and I CAN'T! You two were meant to be together and from your story he seems like he's at LEAST bi. I know you want to start a new chapter in your life, but you said yourself that you wouldn't think twice about running away from him. I say you tell him how you feel one last time. If he doesn't feel the same way, at least you tried and at least you know and it won't be haunting you for the rest of your life. And even if he rejects you, who knows. He could be in denial and might end up pursuing you one day after he accepts himself. It just sounds like you two need closure. Drifting apart on a cliffhanger like that is so sad.
Girlllllll, you saw him naked AND sucked his dick many times?? How did you even make that happen? I'm gonna need you to spill so I can take notes.
I caught him coming out of the bathroom naked and changing clothes and dressing up.
I took the advantage of knowing that he was open so when we were alone, I only talk about all thr sexual things that could make him horny. You dont know the things he would let you do to him when he was horny and his girlfriend was in another province. The first few times, he only let me give him a handjob until I threaten to stop doing it so he let me do, you know, the other job.
Remember straight guys like to talk about sexual things so ise that to make them horny. Other than that, you need to have your own tactics.
I'm getting emotional over here, and it's 4 am and I have a class in a few hours. I NEED to go to bed lol. I'll be back tomorrow to hopefully read some more stories, comment some more, and then share my experience with my straight best friend (still my best friend to this day). Goodnight.
So I was driving with one of my chi psi bro, and I accidentally grabbed his leg instead of the gearstick. We both laughed and I unzipped his pants. We parked the car and I started to fondle his junk. He started laughing because he knows it's all just a joke. I started sucking his dick in the empty parking lot, and I almost choke because I'm laughing so ****ing hard. My friend is also laughing his ass off too, because this is the greatest prank ever. He starts making train noises while yelling, "BROJOB! BROJOB! CHOO CHOO!". When he finishes, I swallow it like I'm some big homosexual. I kissed him and call him a big homosexual while laughing.
Any other advice on how I could approach my ongoing situation?
I know it's not half as sad as the others but it's sort of going on right now so I'm a mess My first guy crush being something like this is annoying as hell.
I talked about it on here before but I might as well share my story again, since all the stories in this thread made me super emotional. It's gonna be a long one.
So I had just finished 8th grade. My cousin ( a girl ) asked me to join the school's folk dance group. I'm not into folk dancing but I did it for her 'cause we were good friends and thought we could have some fun during the summer. And there I met this boy, who was 2 years younger than me. I was 15 at the time and he was 13, but he looked way older, he was pretty tall, well built, and had a very hairy body and even facial body, but he shaved. I didn't think of him much, he wasn't supper attractive back then but he was very nice and funny.
As the weeks passed, I realised how cool he was, but we hadn't become close or anything until mid summer when the group went on a summer camp at the seaside. We started talking more, my cousing was spending time with her girlfriends so I began to spend time with him and another guy my age from the group. We became friends and on that camp I realised I actually liked him.
So we came back home. My cousin was enrolled to a military highschool so she couldn't be part of the dance group anymore. The plan was I would quit it too, but because of him, I stayed.
Another offer came to our group and only 2 weeks before I was starting highschool we went to a dance festival in Turkey. Me and (let's call him John, cause that's the English version of his name) became really good friends. We stayed together in the bus, he would put his head on my shoulder and even on my lap to sleep because we travelled during night. I was catching real feeling for him, although I probably didn't know what love was at the time, I was still very young. We stayed in the same room but with other 2 boys as well and had different beds. We spent most of our trip together.
We came home and we started seeing eachother and hanging out even more, as he lives 5 minutes away by foot from me. I started highschool, I was a freshman and he was in 7th grade. Until November we were already bestfriends. Another offer came to our group and we went to a festival in Prague that November. We stayed in the bus together again, slept on eachother again and one girl said to us "you look like a couple". He didn't say anything. This time we were only 3 boys in a room, separate beds again, but after the first night he decided to unite his bed with mine so we could sleep together. We told horror stories that night and for some reason the other boy came into our bed as well. That nigh he put his arm on me. He was embracing me from behind. I didn't say a thing, just slept in awe. We were inseparable in that trip.
We came back home and we started to sleep together. I was 16 and he was 14 by the time. I met his familly, he met mine, we spent so much time together. We slowly started to spend the night together until we slept like 3 night a week or so together. We slept in only underwear and we would cuddle. We would eat together and watch movies together.
May came and we went to another festival in Rimini this time, in Italy. Same story again, stayed together in the bus, in the room, we actually had a king sized bed and a normal bed this time. f course we slept together in the double bed. Oh and I forgot to mention that we would spend much time alone, like, only the two of us, not with the other members of the group, although we were all good friend. Anyway, that trip to Rimini was very special, because that's when I made the courage to press my lips against his. It was night, we were sleeping, we were cuddled in bed, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought "I love you so much" and I kissed him. He was probably asleep and didn't feel it, or that's what I assumed.
At this point it was like a relationship in my head. We were super close, slept together multiple nights a week, we even started arguing, we were jealous when one would spend some time with other people, we fought, we argued, but we got back and such. That summer he had a crush on a girl who came in our town for the summer, but she left, I was super jealous, my fears were becoming true, he was straight. But the girl left, he didn't actually spent much time with her and we countinued our "thing".
So after that I realised that I actually loved this boy so much, I was in love, but it was eating me alive because although I knew he cared a lot for me, I somehow knew it was not the way I wanted him to. But I couldn't separate for him either, we were just too close and I was enjoying him so much to actually do something about it. It continued, we argued, we got back, we slept together, we cuddled, I would kiss him every night (although he was asleep and he didn't feel it, or he did';t say anything about it idk)and so on..
I was 17 and he was 15 now. That Christmas he wrote a letter to me in which he told me how much he cared about me and how he never wanted to separate from he. We spent the holidays together. I actually regret throwing it away now, it was a sweet memory of my high school years. But let's continue.
Summer came and we went the camp at the sea side again, in early September we went to Bulgaria. There were 2 separate beds and one extensible couch in our room, ofc we slept together on the extensible couch. It was like a dream to be. He was everything to me. My mother got suspicious I think, she used to mock me with "are you seeing your wife again?" but she was probably joking. She still does it to this day lol. I was very depressed when we argued and din't talk for days, everyone knew when we were apart lol.
So time passed, we grew up together, but we also started to fight more and more. We slowly distanced one from each other, things got cold between us, and I don't even remember how. Maybe because we made new friends or I don't know.. The thing is, I was feeling more and more depressed because I was afraid to confess my love to him. Although he gave me a lot of signs, I still feared he was actually straight.
I finished junior year and decided to do it. And I did. I confessed to him. He said it was not okay. I didn't tell him I was gay, just that I was in love with him. So we went different ways. I spent the summer without him, I was very depressed but I was willing to move on. He actually got a girlfriend that summer.
After three months without him everything seemed to go in the right direction. The separation was a hell for me but I was starting to feel better. I started my senior year of highschool. He was in his sophomore year. I would see him and his girlfriend at school but didn't pay much attention.
And last October he called me. Yes, he did. He wanted to spend some time together, I don;t know why but I agreed. We started seeing eachother again. He even invited me to hang out at his place again. I did. We were getting close again. Sometimes his girlfriend would be there as well. I realised I was still in love with him, deeply in love. I wanted to cut string off again. Things seemed to not be working well between him and his girlfriend but it was none of my business. One day after highschool he invited me at his place, and I refused, It was the first tine in a long while I refused him. ( well I actually made an excuse that I had to go somewhere but still )... After a few seconds of silence he said "I don't like this" and I asked "What?" and he said "That you have to go" ... I was melting inside but I said we will hang around another day. That evening, after a few hours he called me and said "Hey are you back home? Do you want to meet up".. I was on my way and although I wanted to refuse it I said "I'm coming to you".. That night he was acting super weird.. He asked me"Do you ever feel like you missed someone so much and you will always love them no matter what?". I was poker faced. I said "Is this about that girl you met that summer?" He looked me in the eyes, the moved his look away, a few seconds of silence and though "yes" came out of his mouth.. like he wanted to say something else but he decided not to.
I realised that I couldn't do this anymore. Like, what was even happening? He knew I was in love with him but he did all this for what? I decided to cut him off from my life again, he texted me, called me, but I stopped answering. He was straight.
I finished high school in June and I'm going to college next month. I'm slowly but surely moving on, although I still dream of him at night from time to time and he's still the one I think about when I listen to specific love songs. But I'm ready to start a new chapter in my life. I wish I could have taken some memories, but I deleted all the pics we had together ( he still has some on his Facebook profile, although he deleted most of them too), I threw away all the gifts from him... Maybe it was for the better. He was my first love. And although I know I will probably fall in love again someday, I will never love the same way again. I wasted 4 years of my life on him. But if I had the change to live again, I would still do it. He meant everything to me. If he came tomorrow at my door saying "I love you too, let's run away together" I wouldn't think twice.
I'm sorry for this embarassing long ass post but I wanted to write it down lol.
Legit CRYING. The emotions
Lemme go listen to Carly's Never Get To Hold You.
So I was driving with one of my chi psi bro, and I accidentally grabbed his leg instead of the gearstick. We both laughed and I unzipped his pants. We parked the car and I started to fondle his junk. He started laughing because he knows it's all just a joke. I started sucking his dick in the empty parking lot, and I almost choke because I'm laughing so ****ing hard. My friend is also laughing his ass off too, because this is the greatest prank ever. He starts making train noises while yelling, "BROJOB! BROJOB! CHOO CHOO!". When he finishes, I swallow it like I'm some big homosexual. I kissed him and call him a big homosexual while laughing.
So I was driving with one of my chi psi bro, and I accidentally grabbed his leg instead of the gearstick. We both laughed and I unzipped his pants. We parked the car and I started to fondle his junk. He started laughing because he knows it's all just a joke. I started sucking his dick in the empty parking lot, and I almost choke because I'm laughing so ****ing hard. My friend is also laughing his ass off too, because this is the greatest prank ever. He starts making train noises while yelling, "BROJOB! BROJOB! CHOO CHOO!". When he finishes, I swallow it like I'm some big homosexual. I kissed him and call him a big homosexual while laughing.
Omg sis I just finished reading and I CAN'T! You two were meant to be together and from your story he seems like he's at LEAST bi. I know you want to start a new chapter in your life, but you said yourself that you wouldn't think twice about running away from him. I say you tell him how you feel one last time. If he doesn't feel the same way, at least you tried and at least you know and it won't be haunting you for the rest of your life. And even if he rejects you, who knows. He could be in denial and might end up pursuing you one day after he accepts himself. It just sounds like you two need closure. Drifting apart on a cliffhanger like that is so sad.
Can't believe people actually read that
I'm not even sure what to do. The last 2 years were pure HELL for me. He kept teasing me but never actually did something concrete. Especially last year since he knew I had those feelings for him.
He last messaged me one month ago. I didn't answer and haven't seen him either since I've been on vacantion. I don't want to go through all of it again.
I just found the video he sent me this Christmas of him lip syncing to Justin Bieber's "All I Want Is You This Christmas" on WhatsApp Yeah, he liked/likes Justin Bieber a lot
I feel like we are already on separate ways. He made some many new friends, I made a lot of new friends too. I have a whole life in front of me, he has his own too. It just.. doesn't feel as right anymore, it would be forced.
We wanted to move to New York someday lol. I still dream of moving there, but I don;t know if he still wants the same thing. And I'm not giving up on things for him anymore.
This is so sad. I'm so sorry. He obv isn't straight, he is/was just scared of his feelings :/
And I could go on with even more details 
My fingers were just running all over the keyboard
How did you even make that happen? I'm gonna need you to spill so I can take notes. 
