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Discussion: "Promiscuous gays give our community a bad name!"
Member Since: 5/12/2012
Posts: 7,989
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I kind of agree. Everyone is free to do what they feel like of course, but I simply do not see the appeal of hooking up with strangers off Grindr and I feel the gay community as a whole has become overtly promiscuous because I feel like a part of the minority because of that ideology. I've been turned down by so many guys because of being a virgin, not wanting to be in an open relationship, or because I'm more interested in commitment.
Are these people bad people for wanting to hook up or whatever? Of course not. I only think you're a terrible person if you partake in these activities and are not open with your partners about your sexual history and do not take the responsibility to be safe and to get tested. As long as you do it honestly and intelligently, then there's nothing to be ashamed of. However, the entire culture the community is cultivating (which is generally, from what I see, heavily promiscuous) is rather discriminating against people like myself that are more interested in commitment and more traditional values.
I think the author of that post had genuinely solid ideas, but was just in a place of frustration and vented and it came across the wrong way.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by accelgors
it kinda does...like i said, an obsession with sex is unhealthy
and...yes? i mean, people can judge me if they want. if they think i'm so bad then i just won't pursue interactions with them. i don't see why people care if some stranger thinks badly of you
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Promiscuity is not an obsession with sex.
That's something very different.
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Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 6,832
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I understand very well their point, but at the end all the categories of people do that, hetero people do even worst and most of the time hidden from their wives, husbands and family in general.
It's not a thing only on the gay world, the difference is that gay people are not afraid of hide it because they're more free with no "family' boundaries coming from society.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bloo
I kind of agree. Everyone is free to do what they feel like of course, but I simply do not see the appeal of hooking up with strangers off Grindr and I feel the gay community as a whole has become overtly promiscuous because I feel like a part of the minority because of that ideology. I've been turned down by so many guys because of being a virgin, not wanting to be in an open relationship, or because I'm more interested in commitment.
Are these people bad people for wanting to hook up or whatever? Of course not. I only think you're a terrible person if you partake in these activities and are not open with your partners about your sexual history and do not take the responsibility to be safe and to get tested. As long as you do it honestly and intelligently, then there's nothing to be ashamed of. However, the entire culture the community is cultivating (which is generally, from what I see, heavily promiscuous) is rather discriminating against people like myself that are more interested in commitment and more traditional values.
I think the author of that post had genuinely solid ideas, but was just in a place of frustration and vented and it came across the wrong way.
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Then those guys are not for you, just like you could turn down someone for being promiscuous, wanting to be in an open relationship or not being interested in commitment.
There is discrimination on both fronts.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,737
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LOL I used to live in Cardiff and this idiot was friends with my ex, he's unbearable.
I don't see the problem with people enjoying sex, what is so bad about it exactly? Live your life, if you're not hurting anybody then enjoy yourself. People are so pretentious nowadays, mind your business and do you. Promiscuity is not the issue within the gay community, it's shallow, judgemental and discriminatory gays.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,384
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I agree, it's just honestly so gross and pathetic how guy can be on apps like grindr. Last week, some ugly serial killer looking guy just hit me up out of nowhere asking for me to *** on his face... like no hello? Nothing? Freaking weirdos!
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Member Since: 5/7/2012
Posts: 8,404
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Every male is promiscuous
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by Valera
Promiscuous people usually also don't have any other moral or personality qualities either. I don't like any promiscuous guy I know.
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wow...k?
And should we just say that people who never have sex with people are boring and dull? No.
Stop generalizing.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by SayCart1991
I agree, it's just honestly so gross and pathetic can be on apps like grindr. Last week, some ugly serial killer looking guy just hit me up out of nowhere asking for me to *** on his face... like no hello? Nothing? Freaking weirdos!
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So you're on Grindr but think it's pathetic?
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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It’s always sad when someone from a repressed group is given freedom and then just decides to go on repressing others.
You guys need to open your “traditional” (nice way of saying it) minds and accept that there are other forms of relationships and ways of existing that are not dictated by The Bible. Even if you're not religious, this is what has informed your opinions after years of cultural dominance.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,384
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Quote:
Originally posted by Leptine
I understand very well their point, but at the end all the categories of people do that, hetero people do even worst and most of the time hidden from their wives, husbands and family in general.
It's not a thing only on the gay world, the difference is that gay people are not afraid of hide it because they're more free with no "family' boundaries coming from society.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 1,384
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Quote:
Originally posted by swissman
So you're on Grindr but think it's pathetic?
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I mean I know what you mean, but can't a guy just look for guys to talk to on there and have it eventually lead to dates.... and even if it's just for sex, have it AT LEAST be subtle, like there is a way to hit someone up without saying what that guy said to me immediately off the bat! And I actually had some nice conversations with people on grindr, but it's just that there are so many guys who have no shame and are just disgusting all in the name for wanting sex.
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Member Since: 5/27/2016
Posts: 2,681
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who uses grindr?
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Member Since: 3/4/2011
Posts: 4,038
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For my senior seminar, I took the Biopsychology of Human Sexuality, and my semester-long research project was entitled The Mating Patterns of Male Homosexuals: A Cross-Population Comparison, and sadly, many of the stereotypes about the gay community are true. And gay men report feeling the least secure in relationships, while lesbians feel the most secure. I think a lot of that has to do with worrying that their partners will cheat/are being promiscuous.
#JustMy2Cents
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 18,963
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Quote:
Originally posted by SayCart1991
I mean I know what you mean, but can't a guy just look for guys to talk to on there and have it eventually lead to dates.... and even if it's just for sex, have it AT LEAST be settle, like there is a way to hit someone up without saying what that guy said immediately off the bat! And I actually had some nice conversations with people on grinder, but it's just there are so many guys who have no shame and are just disgusting all in the name for wanting sex.
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I agree that a lot of people are disgusting on the app, but the app is not a disgusting app.
If you want something less hookup-related, use Tinder.
And what's this thing about shame? Why should someone be ashamed of their sexual preferences. If you're harassing people, that's one thing. But putting it all out there in a safe space of like-minded people is not shameful.
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Member Since: 12/16/2008
Posts: 59,380
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He's right but considering this is atrl, you all will disagree.
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 7,248
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Love it 
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 483
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bloo
I kind of agree. Everyone is free to do what they feel like of course, but I simply do not see the appeal of hooking up with strangers off Grindr and I feel the gay community as a whole has become overtly promiscuous because I feel like a part of the minority because of that ideology. I've been turned down by so many guys because of being a virgin, not wanting to be in an open relationship, or because I'm more interested in commitment.
Are these people bad people for wanting to hook up or whatever? Of course not. I only think you're a terrible person if you partake in these activities and are not open with your partners about your sexual history and do not take the responsibility to be safe and to get tested. As long as you do it honestly and intelligently, then there's nothing to be ashamed of. However, the entire culture the community is cultivating (which is generally, from what I see, heavily promiscuous) is rather discriminating against people like myself that are more interested in commitment and more traditional values.
I think the author of that post had genuinely solid ideas, but was just in a place of frustration and vented and it came across the wrong way.
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Post of the year! I feel your pain.
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 18,038
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I agree with him. Nothing wrong with having sex but people who are promiscuous should understand the risks that come with it. And I agree with the part of it stereotyping the entire community but It has more to do with the homophobes than the people.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 9,288
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He's right though. You girls can keep playing into this fantasy and acting like what he said isn't the truth.
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