Quote:
Moonchild - Lifeblood
I love the rhythm in the verses. So sexy. The pre-chorus is pretty unnecessary tbh; it doesn’t really add anything interesting. The chorus was strong, but “contract in me” is awkward (do you realize this word implies getting smaller? don’t you kind of mean the opposite, like ‘expand’ or something?) and ending on “lifeblood” feels anticlimactic since it’s a standalone line with nothing rhyming with it; the other words that end the lines in the chorus have soft vowel sounds (that work well with the sexual imagery) and then ‘blood’ is just so blunt and lacks the smoothness of the other words. But this is kind of nitpicky because the lyrics were pretty strong through most of the song. Since I don’t think you mind nitpicking, I’ll also note that “intuition” felt inexact. You seem to be referring to primal, physical feelings, and “intuition" is a bit too logic-based to work in that context for me.
|
Thank you for your review, Fefe!
The song did have a sensual R&B-ish vibe in my head, so I didn't intend for a huge chorus. The AABBC chorus was meant to draw attention to "lifeblood," but I see how it could feel anticlimactic. I understand your points about "contract in me" (
) and "intuition." I don't mind nitpicking in critiques since it helps me improve and gives me more to watch out for in the future. I'm glad you like the song overall, though.
Did you have any favorite lines?
Like, who's advice to I follow?