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Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 8
Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Make up your mind
Let me leave or let me love you
While you've been saving your neck
I've been breaking mine for you
The power is on, the guillotine hums
My back's to the wall - go on, let it fall
Make up your mind
Before I make it up for you
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kworb
I think the top song of the round should be revealed before the hitlist. It's not always gonna top the hitlist but it should always get the proper recognition.
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If that happens I'll definitely announce the winner based on pure score from the round, but I'm pretty sure Tymps won last round by a good margin anyway. In fact I think his average pulled his HitList score back a bit.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Batch 1 reviews coming in 46 minutes!
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonchild
How does it feel to be at the mercy of a judge's drug-fueled, erratic, acid trip critiques and scores?
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I endured two seasons of his judgement before drag race, so it was only fair!
My judging is strong, different and irreverent. Everything you could ever hope for.
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Quote:
An atom to atom oh can you feel it on me love
A pattern to pattern oh can you see it on me love
Atom to atom oh what's the matter with me love
Strangeness and Charm
The static of your arms, it is the catalyst
You're a chemical that burns there is nothing like this
It's the purest element but it's so volatile
An equation heaven sent, a drug for angels
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when will any of us?
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 26,488
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I swear these drivers REFUSING to turn their brights off. 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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I wonder how fefe's scores are going to influence the rankings? 
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Quote:
This is as good a place to fall as any
We'll build our alter here
Make me your Maria
I'm already on my knees
You had Jesus on your breath
And I caught him in mine
Sweating our confessions
The undone and the divine
'Cause this is his body
This is his love
Such selfish prayers
And I can't get enough
Oh, woah, woah, oh
Oh, whoa, whoa, yeah
Spilled milk tears,
I did this for you
Spilling over the idol
The black and the blue
The sweetest submission
Drinking it in
The wine, the women, the bedroom hymns
'Cause this is his body
This is his love
Such selfish prayers and I can't get enough
Oh, woah, woah, oh
Whoa, whoa, yeah
I can't get enough
I'm not here looking for absolution
Because I found myself an old solution
I'm not here looking for absolution
Because I found myself an old solution
This is his body
This is his love
Such selfish prayers, I can't get enough
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BYE Florence.
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonchild
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That comment was just for Connie. But I'm gonna post Batch 1 reviews really soon, eat dinner, then post Batch 2!
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Batch 2 our punishment for being batch 2
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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Why is Batch 2 so neglected? Dudley Dursley and Harry Potter teas.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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Member Since: 9/16/2011
Posts: 50,981
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonchild
Why is Batch 2 so neglected? Dudley Dursley and Harry Potter teas.
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If batch one is Dudley, then we in batch two win.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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Hillary Clinton is for batch equality.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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Not much, just enjoying my batch privilege.
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Don't bring Hilary into this :anydisgustedemoji:
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Mariah Carey Nodding Hints
Batch 1 hint:
Batch 2 hint:
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 31,895
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I don't think I've ever NOT been in the final batch in my three seasons of PH.
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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I predicted this would be a flop week for me after my 35 on that midterm
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Fefe's Comments
Batch 1
Quote:
pears - Bottle
I see the water songs are carrying over into this season of PH, huh? This was a cute song with a good overall motif (the message in the bottle). I always like fingerprint imagery. There were a few words/phrases that were odd because they broke the rhyme scheme (forevermore) or didn’t match the mood (shatter, Pandora) or were just a bit faulty in the imagery (submerged underneath the sun), but I did like the sustained mood. The bridge was one of my favorite parts (besides from the last line  ) and I also loved the simplicity of the outro. Some of your perfect rhymes felt a bit easy, so consider slant rhymes in the future. As for the challenge, I didn’t get much ‘ecstasy’ from this song. If I had to assign it an emotion, I’d go with “serenity."
inuborg - For A Little While
You have a more straightforward writing style than many of the contestants this season, which I can appreciate. Sometimes it’s cool to know exactly what’s going on without having to really process the meaning through layers of imagery and nonsense. That said, your chorus is much too familiar; the first two lines alone have “hold it together” and “come back to me” in them, which are very familiar/cliche phrases. There are more throughout the song. If you’re going to be a straightforward songwriter, you need to at least use some inventive language so that your song stands out. (For example, you do this in verse 2 when you use “wick” instead of the very familiar phrase of a candle burning.) Try to throw in some unexpected word choices into your songs to freshen up the language. Also, I’m not some stickler for grammar (see: Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel), but you can’t change something as major as tense haphazardly; “bear” has to be in the present tense at the end of V1, and changing it to “bore" just for the rhyme isn’t a good look. I think the song has a consistent mood; is it ‘depression’? Seems more like ‘disappointment,’ but I guess this could be a mild form of depression.
URBAN - Believe (Free Yourself)
I love 90s R&B ballads! And especially a choir!! Your melody was cute, but I didn’t find the lyrics particularly captivating. I’ve basically seen all of these lyrics elsewhere before, so it’s kind of just a patchwork of expected inspirational lyrics. I did like the structure though. You fit the emotion in the chorus, but not in the verses; seems more like you were writing about “faith” than “freedom” IMO.
ausdaniel - Quarantine
Now sis, this was decent, but did you not proofread it? I feel like there were some distracting typos. Anyway, I liked the structure; I love short, fractured verses followed by a longer pre-chorus. I like how you’re working with a central metaphor that you carry throughout the song, though some of the word choices felt a little phony to me. What does radiation killing you have to do with the quarantine in your heart? Seems a bit like you chose images/words that fit the motif in theory but you didn’t really think too much about the context of the words. You did represent jealousy well though. And while I think your lyrics sometimes lack the maturity/gloss of other contestants, this is an improvement over previous seasons, so slay!
Dylobs - On My Own
First, I can’t ignore how the “chasing these pavements” line will simply bring the Adele song to mind for anyone who knows it. It’s too specifically hers I think. Anyway, I like how you captured your emotion here; there’s a sad, lonely mood throughout. I’m not sure why you have that turn in the chorus where you’re not afraid/alone, since you’re supposed to write about loneliness. I like your style of just having these crystallized, (usually) non-perfect rhyming lines, but the rhythm is off at times (world that has waited). The bridge had too much cliche language.
conatus - Sorrysong
Title’s a bit tryhard, but get that indie cred, I guess. This is a great entry; the imagery is evocative, the writing is assured, and you captured your emotion really well (although it’s not super obvious—someone could interpret the rock to be something else entirely, like a significant other you wish you could get rid of, for example). Your rhythm is near perfect (I say ’near’ because “my road ahead always” is super clunky). I screamed when I got to “bones” in the chorus and it wasn’t the end of the line. Great move there.
jpow - Resolution
Well you certainly conveyed your emotion best out of this batch! People who know my writing style may be surprised by this, but I actually liked this entry a lot and thought it was a pretty serviceable sex bop. The “you know” in the chorus doesn’t work for me (feels informal/blasé/used to rhyme with “ooooooooooooooooooooh”), but a lot of you word choices elevate this song, like “My body is knowing / So prophetic” and the rhyming that with “kinetic” later. I can totally see this song on Xtina’s next album.
Buyonce1814 - How I Feel
I don’t like sob stories, so I took a point off for your note. This song was kind of average to me; I’ve heard this type of song (“I hope bad things happen to you”) before and a lot of the lyrics were just OK for me. Some of the language is too familiar (scars, “was it worth it,” “it was all a charade,” etc.) but I thought the pre-chorus was striking and the (first) bridge was excellent. I like how the key isn’t just thrown away, but thrown into flames.
Vulnicura - Control
You did a good job evoking your emotion without being super obvious about it and letting the e.mo.tion come through naturally (except for “do I have a soul,” which I felt was too melodramatic). I sorta feel like a lot of these lines are just pasted together and lack cohesion; they evoke a sustained mood, but their dreaminess makes me wish I had something a bit firmer to hold onto, something like a recurring image, repeated line, etc. I didn’t feel this way about the bridge though, which is probably my favorite part of the song.
Kunst - I Bet
Alright sis, you really went for something shocking and interesting here, and I appreciate the stakes of the song more than I do the lyrics, I think. The narrative quality is cool (and the turn in the bridge), but many of the lyrics were kind of pedestrian and I had a hard time hearing a rhythmic consistency in the verses; this is one of those songs that seems to put too much focus on storytelling and not enough on the language. You showcased betrayal well here, but I think most of that work is done by the ‘knife in the back’ imagery, which is the most common way we talk about betrayal. I didn’t get that mood from all parts of the song though.
TheCheetahwings - Solidarity
The rhythm was great. I like how the chorus is structured and how you use repetition there; it felt very commercial (in a good way). I thought the idea of your heart being 'in solitary’ (I assume you mean solitary confinement) could have been expanded on and played with a bit; you use that unique image, but instead of building on it, you then go into using pretty standard heartbreak lyrics. I like how the second verse complicates the song and isn’t just a rehash of the first and the bridge was the best. You captured your emotion well.
UFO - Dancing With the Daffodils
This song was fine. You definitely conveyed freedom and some of the lyrics are interesting and they’re certainly working together to create a consistent feel. I don’t love the chorus though; there are too many familiar lines (‘weight on my shoulders’; ‘nothing even matters’) and the most original image is the daffodils line, which is like oddly specific and just a bit off; you’re given me Euphorian teas with this random imagery. The familiar language is evident in other parts of the song too (’smoke has cleared’; ‘let the light in’), so that’s probably my main piece of advice for you; avoid pre-packaged phrases. I like the heavenly bits in the second verse.
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