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Discussion: ATRL Songwriter's Thread | Jacktrus gain dual #1
Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 4,083
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Inner Insanity (i saw u lurking  )
I really liked it  its sounds nice and the message is good delivered , I only noticed that it has no rhymes ? (no bad thing tho)
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Member Since: 8/28/2012
Posts: 6,267
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A random person commented on YouTube asking for the lyrics to my song so they can sing it for an audition they have. My impact 
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Member Since: 3/25/2012
Posts: 5,390
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Quote:
Originally posted by Karma Chameleon
A random person commented on YouTube asking for the lyrics to my song so they can sing it for an audition they have. My impact |
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Member Since: 10/18/2010
Posts: 29,224
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Quote:
Originally posted by Karma Chameleon
I liked Anywhere too! The beat was great and I loved the chorus I found it difficult to hear what you were singing in the verses so I'd work on your diction. But as already said you're a great producer |
I so need to, too. I'm trying, but I don't wanna sound prissy. It's getting there. If I tried to record this four years ago, you'd be lucky to understand half of what was there! 
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Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 4,083
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Quote:
Originally posted by Karma Chameleon
A random person commented on YouTube asking for the lyrics to my song so they can sing it for an audition they have. My impact |
Speakin of that , where do y'all / how do you share/spread your songs?
I been asked for a signature a few times or so n got recognized once at McDonalds  but instead of talkin to me the person just stared at me nd then added me on Facebook n told me that one of his friends always talks about me nd my music
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Member Since: 3/25/2012
Posts: 5,390
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This is a song called Explode, just think of like an acoustic version of Diamonds by Rihanna:
Explode
I couldn’t believe that it would be this easy
When it was within my reach
But now I’ve tasted the tip of the knife
I heard that you never
Know the true meaning of forever
Until it cuts you deep
Until it cuts you way deep
So don’t worry, don’t be afraid
It’ll be over, before you try to stray
With a blink it happened
And a blink will take it all away
Explode, explode
Run, run away back to your home
Explode, explode
Nobody is safe, no castle or throne
I’ll build back my heart with tough red bricks
I’ll learn your silly games and foolish tricks
Honestly, I hope I’ll find my own space
So I’ll just follow the red dusty trace
The temperature is getting higher
My heart is sweating so much
There’s no soul left
It’s so lifeless
So don’t worry, don’t be afraid
It’ll be over, before you try to stray
With a blink it happened
And a blink will take it all away
Explode, explode
Run, run away back to your home
Explode, explode
Nobody is safe, no castle or throne
I think I made myself clear
Heartbreak is nothing to fear
Because it’s just a feeling not a chain
But your life won’t ever be the same
With a blink it happened
And a blink will take it all away
Explode, explode
Run, run away back to your home
Explode, explode
Nobody is safe, no castle or throne
Explode, explode
My heart may be dead, but its ghost will roam
Explode, explode
Blown to a billion bits, the heart of stone
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Member Since: 8/28/2012
Posts: 6,267
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nait Phoenix
I so need to, too. I'm trying, but I don't wanna sound prissy. It's getting there. If I tried to record this four years ago, you'd be lucky to understand half of what was there! |
Try practicing tongue twisters like "she sells sea shells..." etc until you get them perfect. Also when singing keep in mind that you're only actually singing vowels so enunciating them more might help!
Quote:
Originally posted by Bright
Speakin of that , where do y'all / how do you share/spread your songs?
I been asked for a signature a few times or so n got recognized once at McDonalds but instead of talkin to me the person just stared at me nd then added me on Facebook n told me that one of his friends always talks about me nd my music |
I perform live a lot and get recognized around my town and the areas around it quite frequently because of it.
Once a girl stalked me, found out my mobile number and rang me asking me out on a date and fangirling over the phone it was the creepiest thing ever 
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Member Since: 8/28/2012
Posts: 6,267
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Also I forgot to post the lyrics to the song I wrote last.
DO YOU REMEMBER?
V1:
I can still picture it just like it was the other day
You and me walking in the autumn rain
Together, one kiss at a time
It was the first time that we'd ever really felt that way
The innocence was in our eyes, thought everything would be ok
Together, thought it would last forever
Chorus:
Do you remember?
That day we first met, I won't ever forget
The way, that you kissed me
For the very first time, when I called you mine
We didn't know what we was getting our selves into
Just kids in love, we didn't have a clue
Do you reme-e-e-ember?
Do you reme-e-e-ember?
V2:
An empty bed, a memory, a box of photographs
Everything that we once had is a story of the past
What happened, why'd you leave me behind?
It was you and me against the world, I don't know what went wrong
We had it all for a moment in time but now that moment's gone
We lost it, it went from beautiful to tragic
Chorus
Bridge:
We had it all, but we lost it all
I never thought I'd ever have to say goodbye to you, goodbye to you
We was young and in love but we got caught up
In life and everything that it threw at us
We were just kids we didn't know any better
We were just kids we didn't know any better
Chorus
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Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 23,127
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Anyone play any instruments?
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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 TBD
[V1]
I was never good enough for you, was I?
Was everything we had lies?
Was I only one of the same?
Was I your hidden shame?
[C]
Everything is gone - nothing’s left
Tell me - can you leave leaving no regrets?
I’d like to think you loved me at a point in time
I’d like to think our hearts were at once aligned
But now, all I feel is a great divide
A hole where your soul used to rest with mine
Now there’s nothing left inside my heart
Was there anything in your’s from the start?
[V2]
I’d like to think you cared, but did you?
Was anything you said the truth?
Was I just a big mistake?
Were all of those feeling’s fake?
[C]
Everything is gone - nothing’s left
Tell me - can you leave leaving no regrets?
I’d like to think you loved me at a point in time
I’d like to think our hearts were at once aligned
But now, all I feel is a great divide
A hole where your soul used to rest with mine
Now there’s nothing left inside my heart
Was there anything in your’s from the start?
[B]
Could I make you love me?
Could I make you see -
One time I was happy
Were you ever happy with me?
Could I make you love me?
Could I make you see -
One time I was happy
Were you ever happy with me?
[C]
Everything is gone - nothing’s left
Tell me - can you leave leaving no regrets?
I’d like to think you loved me at a point in time
I’d like to think our hearts were at once aligned
But now, all I feel is a great divide
A hole where your soul used to rest with mine
Now there’s nothing left inside my heart
Was there anything in your’s from the start?
Everything is gone - nothing’s left
Tell me - can you leave leaving no regrets?
I’d like to think you loved me at a point in time
I’d like to think our hearts were at once aligned
But now, all I feel is a great divide
A hole where your soul used to rest with mine
Now there’s nothing left inside my heart
Was there anything in your’s from the start?
should I name it Everything is Gone, or From the Start?
I am torn 
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Member Since: 8/28/2012
Posts: 6,267
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So I had an idea for a song called "Doing It My Way" a month or so ago but after writing an intro completely hit a wall but I've just written a new verse for it now so your thoughts would be appreciated!
I never really fit in at school
I always felt out of place
The kids there they said mean things
About me being overweight
The teachers were mostly alright
Except for one who I just didn't like
Said I should study cause I'll never make it
Well maybe I like to be optimistic
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Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 4,083
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
TBD
[V1]
I was never good enough for you, was I?
Was everything we had lies?
Was I only one of the same?
Was I your hidden shame?
[C]
Everything is gone - nothing’s left
Tell me - can you leave leaving no regrets?
I’d like to think you loved me at a point in time
I’d like to think our hearts were at once aligned
But now, all I feel is a great divide
A hole where your soul used to rest with mine
Now there’s nothing left inside my heart
Was there anything in your’s from the start?
[V2]
I’d like to think you cared, but did you?
Was anything you said the truth?
Was I just a big mistake?
Were all of those feeling’s fake?
[C]
Everything is gone - nothing’s left
Tell me - can you leave leaving no regrets?
I’d like to think you loved me at a point in time
I’d like to think our hearts were at once aligned
But now, all I feel is a great divide
A hole where your soul used to rest with mine
Now there’s nothing left inside my heart
Was there anything in your’s from the start?
[B]
Could I make you love me?
Could I make you see -
One time I was happy
Were you ever happy with me?
Could I make you love me?
Could I make you see -
One time I was happy
Were you ever happy with me?
[C]
Everything is gone - nothing’s left
Tell me - can you leave leaving no regrets?
I’d like to think you loved me at a point in time
I’d like to think our hearts were at once aligned
But now, all I feel is a great divide
A hole where your soul used to rest with mine
Now there’s nothing left inside my heart
Was there anything in your’s from the start?
Everything is gone - nothing’s left
Tell me - can you leave leaving no regrets?
I’d like to think you loved me at a point in time
I’d like to think our hearts were at once aligned
But now, all I feel is a great divide
A hole where your soul used to rest with mine
Now there’s nothing left inside my heart
Was there anything in your’s from the start?
should I name it Everything is Gone, or From the Start?
I am torn |
I'd say From The start
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Member Since: 10/18/2010
Posts: 29,224
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I had a dream about this song. I woke up instantly and wrote the words down...
Love Gone
First Verse:
Bridesmaid, never been a bride
Taken for a ride with nowhere left to go
Veteran written on the side
Swallowing your pride down like you were a pro
Pre-Chorus:
Tell me why has the love gone to the wrong ones?
It's the same song but it's all wrong
Where has the love gone? Has it disappeared?
'Cause it's been too long since it's been here
Chorus:
Why (Why) Why can't we make a heart beat again?
Why (Why) Why can't we make this world spin again?
I thought love was s'pose to solve every problem that we had
Now it seems like every one of our problems hasn't passed
Second Verse:
Boy mistreated by a word
First time that he heard it ever in his life
Now he's lying in the dirt
But flying like a bird taken into the light
Pre-Chorus:
Tell me why has the love gone to the wrong ones?
It's the same song but it's all wrong
Where has the love gone? Has it disappeared?
'Cause it's been too long since it's been here
Chorus:
Why (Why) Why can't we make a heart beat again?
Why (Why) Why can't we make this world spin again?
I thought love was s'pose to solve every problem that we had
Now it seems like every one of our problems hasn't passed
Bridge (x2):
We can make it work, we
We can heal the hurt, we
We can make it right
We can soothe the pain, we
We can stop the rain, we
Have to make it right
Final Chorus:
Why (Why) Why can't we make a heart beat again?
Why (Why) Why can't we make this world spin again?
Why (Why) Why can't we make two hearts into one?
Why (Why) Why can't we save the love that's been gone for too long?
I thought love was s'pose to solve every problem that we had
Now it seems like every one of our problems hasn't passed
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Quote:
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Swallowing your pride down like you were a pro
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This sounds too much like an innuendo tbh
EDIT: WAIT IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE ONE 
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Member Since: 10/18/2010
Posts: 29,224
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Quote:
Originally posted by AdamAL4
This sounds too much like an innuendo tbh
EDIT: WAIT IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE ONE |
It's exactly what you think it is.
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Member Since: 4/20/2012
Posts: 11,335
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i keep forgetting to post my choruses here and right now i can't
let me try tho
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Member Since: 4/20/2012
Posts: 11,335
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okay so i spontaneously just start writing the first chorus i get, and they're usually inspired or based off the beat and/or melody from another song, and this was the first one i got. it's me while i was going through my lowest part of my depression. i'm still working on its verses, i actually like it. vocally it's also beautiful.
I See The Light
[Chorus]
I feel the life goin’ outta my eyes
And my soul goin’ into the night
I’m down don’t think I will survive
Just let me die I finally see the light
The dark’s closin’ real tight
I’m losin’ all the strength to fight
I’m down don’t think I will survive
Just let me die I finally see the light
it's a little simple, but i believe in simplicity
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Member Since: 10/18/2010
Posts: 29,224
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Quote:
Originally posted by J03Y
okay so i spontaneously just start writing the first chorus i get, and they're usually inspired or based off the beat and/or melody from another song, and this was the first one i got. it's me while i was going through my lowest part of my depression. i'm still working on its verses, i actually like it. vocally it's also beautiful.
I See The Light
[Chorus]
I feel the life goin’ outta my eyes
And my soul goin’ into the night
I’m down don’t think I will survive
Just let me die I finally see the light
The dark’s closin’ real tight
I’m losin’ all the strength to fight
I’m down don’t think I will survive
Just let me die I finally see the light
it's a little simple, but i believe in simplicity |
I can't believe nobody responded to this, yet.
It's definitely depressing; not really my expertise (since depressing lyrics give me the willies) but I bet sung this sounds beautiful to the point that I'll forget it reads like a suicide note (no offense).
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Member Since: 8/15/2012
Posts: 6,964
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Quote:
Originally posted by J03Y
okay so i spontaneously just start writing the first chorus i get, and they're usually inspired or based off the beat and/or melody from another song, and this was the first one i got. it's me while i was going through my lowest part of my depression. i'm still working on its verses, i actually like it. vocally it's also beautiful.
I See The Light
[Chorus]
I feel the life goin’ outta my eyes
And my soul goin’ into the night
I’m down don’t think I will survive
Just let me die I finally see the light
The dark’s closin’ real tight
I’m losin’ all the strength to fight
I’m down don’t think I will survive
Just let me die I finally see the light
it's a little simple, but i believe in simplicity |
Hope you got over whatever made you feel that way.
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Member Since: 3/7/2011
Posts: 19,696
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I wrote lyrics to make my own verse for crazy kids...
it's not the best, but I just wanted to be quick...
I think I would have been able to do better if I actually put effort to it..
I don't know if I want to post the lyrics.. it shades an artist, and I don't want a WP
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