Being defined as a person because of my sexuality.
I am bi. I have been with a woman but i am attracted to men too. In my country if you don't play sports, if you don't talk about boobs and ass all day and if you have a lot girl as your friend your are automatically tagged as gay and trust me being gay is ridiculed in my country and having sex with men will have you end up in jail for 21 years
Not you playing the victim card and calling racism when someone just isn't into black people.... I like people from all ethnicities, I'm just not attracted to them, I'm only attracted to caucasian males and once in a blue moon there's someone with an Asian or African appearance that I like, I can't help it, it doesn't have anything to do with racism... It's the same as saying you don't consider women as equals and you discriminate them just because you are not interested in them sexually/romantically.....
And regarding the claim that bisexuality doesn't exist, I believe that too
Quote:
Originally posted by BadMonster
I'm neither of those three tbh... I honestly believe gender is on the same field as race or sexuality...You are just attracted to something and not to other things...I already said there are very few people of those groups I do like, so I don't write them off completely... Also, I know plenty of white girls that are not into white guys
Quote:
Originally posted by leon86
People bringing racism here? Just because a white man rejects you doesnt mean they're racist. Maybe they just prefer certain kind of features
You guys are NOT getting it
It's fine to have an affinity towards certain physical features, but it's not the same to write off an entire racial group because of it. That, my dear, is racism. Noting a race is still in your good graces and hasn't completely been written off only because you've found "very few" who we're worthy of your lust isn't saving your ass either. No one's asking you to change your preferences, just to not hold victim an entire group of beings because of it. If you can't do that, at least embrace the title of racist.
It's fine to have an affinity towards certain physical features, but it's not the same to write off an entire racial group because of it. That, my dear, is racism. Noting a race is still in your good graces and hasn't completely been written off only because you've found "very few" who we're worthy of your lust isn't saving your ass either. No one's asking you to change your preferences, just to not hold victim an entire group of beings because of it. If you can't do that, at least embrace the title of racist.
I think the hardest thing for me is being bi and getting constant back lash from the LGBT community. People here don't believe bisexuality exists. Others believe its a front because I'm still "in the closet".
This. Also, being black and gay (or if you're Asian, its probably even worse for you) is probably the lowest point on the totem pole you could possibly be. Gays generally find blacks and Asians ugly and undesirable so its harder to find a decent guy that will even consider going on a date with me. Then they excuse their prejudice by claiming "its just my preference!", and see no problem with their "preference" being a disgusting stereotype perpetuated by the media. Meanwhile, most women in my experience, do not have this "preference".
Edit: oh, I guess I should have read past the first page. I see we're already discussing this. Lemme perch.
In all honesty as a gay person you should be ashamed to invalidate someones personal struggles. Then again if all you're into is white guys it would be hard for you to see the picture due to your own bias.
This is why queer people of color get annoyed every time the subject of race gets brought up they get shut down and told how they don't know what they're talking about. An outsider looking in telling someone else they're wrong is a big part in why positive changes aren't being made.
Hate to break it to you but other white gay men themselves will tell you how there is a race totem poll in the LGBT community. Whites are at the very top and asians and blacks are the bottom you also have gay men of color who feed into the standard of beauty and only want white men especially gay asian males even though a good percent of gay white males aren't here for them.
Features have nothing to do with it you can be the most attractive black/asian man out there but you will get ignored for a slightly less attractive white guy because they are white.
Asian guys are afraid to message other men because they're afraid of being turned down for being asian (which happens alot) asians have a stigma of being twinks and small penises (I can tell you from personal experience that it isn't true)
Queer POC get stereotyped daily as either aggressive in bed (black men) or horny all the time (latin men)
You get pigeonholed into a box. Gay asians and gay black men are the least replied to on dating sites and even trying to talk to them on a platonic level you will get ignored.
And not just by white guys you will get ignored by other queers of color who are stuck on the white is right mentality.
So before trying to shut someone down as wrong why not ask why that is instead of assuming something you have no idea what is going on. We can all learn from each other.
In all honesty as a gay person you should be ashamed to invalidate someones personal struggles. Then again if all you're into is white guys it would be hard for you to see the picture due to your own bias.
This is why queer people of color get annoyed every time the subject of race gets brought up they get shut down and told how they don't know what they're talking about. An outsider looking in telling someone else they're wrong is a big part in why positive changes aren't being made.
Hate to break it to you but other white gay men themselves will tell you how there is a race totem poll in the LGBT community. Whites are at the very top and asians and blacks are the bottom you also have gay men of color who feed into the standard of beauty and only want white men especially gay asian males even though a good percent of gay white males aren't here for them.
Features have nothing to do with it you can be the most attractive black/asian man out there but you will get ignored for a slightly less attractive white guy because they are white.
Asian guys are afraid to message other men because they're afraid of being turned down for being asian (which happens alot) asians have a stigma of being twinks and small penises (I can tell you from personal experience that it isn't true)
Queer POC get stereotyped daily as either aggressive in bed (black men) or horny all the time (latin men)
You get pigeonholed into a box. Gay asians and gay black men are the least replied to on dating sites and even trying to talk to them on a platonic level you will get ignored.
And not just by white guys you will get ignored by other queers of color who are stuck on the white is right mentality.
So before trying to shut someone down as wrong why not ask why that is instead of assuming something you have no idea what is going on. We can all learn from each other.
I'm submitting this for a Nobel Peace Prize tbh. Well said
In all honesty as a gay person you should be ashamed to invalidate someones personal struggles. Then again if all you're into is white guys it would be hard for you to see the picture due to your own bias.
This is why queer people of color get annoyed every time the subject of race gets brought up they get shut down and told how they don't know what they're talking about. An outsider looking in telling someone else they're wrong is a big part in why positive changes aren't being made.
Hate to break it to you but other white gay men themselves will tell you how there is a race totem poll in the LGBT community. Whites are at the very top and asians and blacks are the bottom you also have gay men of color who feed into the standard of beauty and only want white men especially gay asian males even though a good percent of gay white males aren't here for them.
Features have nothing to do with it you can be the most attractive black/asian man out there but you will get ignored for a slightly less attractive white guy because they are white.
Asian guys are afraid to message other men because they're afraid of being turned down for being asian (which happens alot) asians have a stigma of being twinks and small penises (I can tell you from personal experience that it isn't true)
Queer POC get stereotyped daily as either aggressive in bed (black men) or horny all the time (latin men)
You get pigeonholed into a box. Gay asians and gay black men are the least replied to on dating sites and even trying to talk to them on a platonic level you will get ignored.
And not just by white guys you will get ignored by other queers of color who are stuck on the white is right mentality.
So before trying to shut someone down as wrong why not ask why that is instead of assuming something you have no idea what is going on. We can all learn from each other.
My friends that happen to be female have all tried to get at me..when I told them I like men, they were shocked. I'm not the most masculine man, but I'm not flaming either. I was in the military and I conducted myself with professionalism. They always said that when I was in uniform, I was a completely different person. I just didn't wear my "gayness" on my sleeve. Some people would try it because they never heard me talk about a girl or whatever, but I always had girls with me because they were my friends.
People need to realize that everyone isn't going to be accepting to gays. They think it's a lifestyle thing, which is so ignorant. LOL. I've accepted this and moved on from it.
For me its seeing other people my age being open and public with their family and friends and be happy while I can't even talk about boys with my best friends
For me its seeing other people my age being open and public with their family and friends and be happy while I can't even talk about boys with my best friends
For me its seeing other people my age being open and public with their family and friends and be happy while I can't even talk about boys with my best friends
Hopefully one day these issues will pass and it will become a time when you can talk about guys freely without much backlash. I think with more time it will happen.
being myself is the hardest part. I feel like I can't hold hands with the person I love in public without getting ridiculed. I hate that. I always see the other hetero couples holding hands and being cute and want all those things but then I remember I'm gay and I'll get stares, comments and maybe worse. That part is awful.
Also awful:
masculine gay men thinking they're better than other gay men. great job upholding the patriarchy that keeps feminine anything oppressed and voiceless just because you want to fit in. a lot of "masculine" gay guys I know always talk about feminine gay guys like they're stupider, less acceptable blah blah blah. I swear our very own "community" is its own worst enemy.