11 Performers Who Can't Fly The Flag (yes, I like Scooch. Shut it.) For Britain
Jordin Sparks (10/10) Lisa Tucker, didn't we get rid of you!? They installed a new emotion processor, clearly. Jordin came into her own here with this performance and it's probably the first time I've actually not been distracted by something this entire season. The performance of the season.
Melinda Doolittle (4/10) It's Nadia Dedication Night! As done by Oprah from 1997. She continues the violent swing between brill and droll by boring me to death and making weird as hell facial expressions and wonder why she's not doing the dress.
LaKisha Jones (3/10) I believe Lulu more than LaKisha. And everyone, watch Lulu for she is BEYOND awesome ^_^ And girl, you messed way up on going with Diamonds. She sounded...off? in parts while mimicing Bassey at the openings. And the mimicing of Shirley bugs a lot. It was fine, but I didn't buy it.
Haley Scarnato (0/10) "Tell Him"? Lulu pointed out the OBVIOUS about the staccato needed on a Dusty song. What the hell are you wearing and why does it not include a bra? Your nipples are glaring at me and the bow on your ass distracts. Your voice and formal shorts were boring and irritating. No personality apparent...the perfect Kat Clone!
Chris Sligh (0/10) Out of key on the opener while lost in the crowd. The falsetto is to weak to use. The chorus sounded off-ish to me. I don't think it was but it still sounded weird. And if you ever dare to utter FRO PATROL one more time I will hunt you down and stab you in the chins.
Chris Richardson (0/10) Wow, the Timberfake rolls right out! And I heart Peter Noonan for his comment on the breathy ****. And right off the bat, he's out of key and into the JT key. And seriously, out of all the Mercy Sound songs he could pick, why'd he chose that? STOP TRYING TO MAKE SEXY FACE AT CAMERA
Boring for the whole damn number.
Stephanie Edwards (-2/10) WHY ARE YOU DOING A NADIA SONG? NADIA HAS MORE CLASS AND TALENT IN HER FRO THAN YOU HAVE IN YOUR WHOLE BEYONCE IMPERSONATIN BODY
Yikes, that opening was horrid, like she was shouting into key. Then she releases the "Beyonce singing Dangerously In Love At The Grammys" face and vocal stylings. And she bores throughout the opening verse with no emotion and sounds confused in the chorus, completely disconnected. Horrendous!
Gina Glocksen (-3/10) Wow, Nikki showed up to start the song. And she can't dress herself, cuz she looks larger than normal. And clearly the band never heard the song...and neither did she. It was weird and confusing and she shouted constantly but since she was painted into the corner I dunno if it's me or the fact it sucked.
Blake Lewis (-6/10) Seriously, girl, we need to work on wardrobe. There's quirky and then there's moron and you've slid into the moron stage. And did you forget the conversation on beatboxing? And how it apparently makes you flat from note one to the chorus? Extremely nasal and sharp as **** on the chorus. Rather annoyed with the mic handling. Huh, skidded from a fave of mine to one I'd be willing to sacrifice in lieu of the 'jaya.
Sanjaya Malakar (-8/10) I'm blaming Noonan. For the girl in pigtails crying. Cuz it was clearly due to Sanjaya's inability to sing or scream or fake being mean. I hope. Please don't be crying cuz she lurves him...and she is. Confusing and depressing.
Phil Stacey(-10/10) SCARY EYES! RUN AWAY NOONAN OR HE'LL KILL YOU!! And you're not this years rocker so STOP SCREAMING AT US. And if you must pretend to be Gina, how about trying to shout in a recognizable key? Completely annoying and plastic performance.
Should be B3: Blake, Sanjaya, Phil
Should fly away:
Will be B3: Phil, Sanjaya, Stephanie
Will hear no more yo: Stephanie
It's nice to see Lulu and Peter Noonan, and to see them looking so fresh and properly botoxed
Lets replace Paula and Randy with them! And I said that this is the worst season ever and I continue to feel that way.
*season rates*
01 Jordin - 22/50
01 LaKisha - 22/50
03 Melinda - 21/50
04 Stephanie - 12/50
05 Haley - 3/50
06 Sligh - 1/50
07 Gina - 0/50
08 Blake - -4/50
09 Richardson - -15/50
10 Sanjaya - -26/50
11 Phil - -40/50
)
)
^