Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 9 - Page 589

keshaspearsxo

The whole thing was just repulsive to read

Me @ the judges reviews

keshaspearsxo

Except swigie

Tylerbv

Quote:

Originally posted by CountryBritney

She has a really strong discography aside from a couple of mishaps. No rush to send your rates in, so come and sign up in the thread and take your time listening

Let me think about it.
Mama's Broken Heart and Fastest Girl in Town are the bops.

--

Any hints or whatever to decipher? I'm bored

Jaxswim

Quote:

Originally posted by Jackson

I got a definite Lana vibe from this, albeit Lana-lite. The verses don’t feel like they add much to the song other than set up the setting of the prison and the Lana-esque voice. “The feds got us good” feels awkward, but I do like how you kept the summer theme going from the original song. I wish you had kept the dark vibes as strong as the original song. It felt more like the light and dark was meshing rather than contrasting as I would see in a typical Lana song. I like how you incorporated bits of Florida Kilos into the bridge and the spoken part was a nice touch. Overall, I felt you played this pretty safe. This was a safe route to take in a sequel for this song and it didn’t really feel like you added anything considerable to the storyline. The language was basic compared to Lana’s and your past entries and it definitely felt like less effort was put in than last week.

I think I get pretty much all of what you're saying and agree... definitely less time went into my entry this week and I'm going to try to do more next time (if I make it).

Jackson

Quote:

Originally posted by keshaspearsxo

Except swigie

same but opposite

keshaspearsxo

Quote:

Originally posted by Jackson

same but opposite

I wish I could see the songs so I could assess the TRUTH - though I'm leaning more to swiftie being correct because I too am generally hard to please. Maybe it's because my writing is just so unique and amazing.

Cupid

Quote:

It’s a bit confusing how you shift between tenses

She does in the original too, I was basically just mimicking that style.

Quote:

The song could have been more focused on one or two events rather than telling of an entire lifetime after the first song took place

True but I wanted the story to be that they'd separated, the first verse was picking up where the original left off, explaining how they moved out of the city, back to the small town. Then the last verse was explaining why they aren't together anymore.

Hugamari

So since my writing career is declining, I decided to pick up being a photoshop artistE instead. This is the first in a series of Neon Pokemon I am wanting to make.

mxtthewdelrey

My album is incredible

01 Girls World Talkshow (#1 Hit)
02 Prayer Pose (#2 Hit)
03 Harvey (#1 Hit)
04 P**** McFlurry (#1 Hit)

Tylerbv

Quote:

Originally posted by mxtthewdelrey

My album is incredible

01 Girls World Talkshow (#1 Hit)
02 Prayer Pose (#2 Hit)
03 Harvey (#1 Hit)
04 P**** McFlurry (#1 Hit)

wow the consistency

Jaxswim

+

(I edited like 2 words from the version I submitted but this is pretty much my entry)

Jackson

Quote:

Originally posted by keshaspearsxo

I wish I could see the songs so I could assess the TRUTH - though I'm leaning more to swiftie being correct because I too am generally hard to please. Maybe it's because my writing is just so unique and amazing.

You do realize swiftie has the highest average like every round

CountryBritney

Quote:

Originally posted by Jaxswim

+

(I edited like 2 words from the version I submitted but this is pretty much my entry)

Love this

Gladion

I really hope I'm save! I know this was one of my weaker entries, but I really liked the concept and wish I could of executed it better.

MattyTacos

Quote:

Originally posted by Jaxswim

+

(I edited like 2 words from the version I submitted but this is pretty much my entry)

This is literally perfection, sis

Send this to Lana and make her record it for L4

Gladion

Graffiti - Rebellious Anthem
Distant - Long Distance Relationships
Double On Tundra - A lonely person who finally finds love
Love in the Spotlight - Body Confidence/Giving Love that shouldn't be given

This album is all over the place

in cutting graffiti out, so it's more of a progressive love story

Starts off all alone (Double On Tundra)
Finds someone (also double on tundra)
Start of the relationship (??)
Ashamed of yourself, not feeling worthy (Niko's cover of Dance in the dark)
Loving the relationship (??)
The start of the decline (??)
Hating yourself for loving them (Loving In the Spotlight, Dance in the dark pt.2)
Breakup (??)
Wanting to get back together but you can't (distant)
Acceptance (??)

I say it could work

Gladion

Omg jax that slays. I read it in a Lana tone and I can see her doing it 100% that's fantastic. The lines i don't love are lines that Lana does so I don't mind them (the sweet like dessert, more cheesy ish kinda rhymes at times)

You deserve top 5 at the very least imo

Vulnicura

where is 8th tbh, he will be the deciding factor if I can snatch a top 10

Jackson

Quote:

Originally posted by Vision

She does in the original too, I was basically just mimicking that style.

True but I wanted the story to be that they'd separated, the first verse was picking up where the original left off, explaining how they moved out of the city, back to the small town. Then the last verse was explaining why they aren't together anymore.

Can you clarify the 3rd verse? Did something happen to the kids? I couldn't quite tell by the language and I need to know

Jaxswim

Quote:

Originally posted by CountryBritney

Love this

Quote:

Originally posted by MattyTacos

This is literally perfection, sis

Send this to Lana and make her record it for L4

Quote:

Originally posted by HausofNiko

Omg jax that slays. I read it in a Lana tone and I can see her doing it 100% that's fantastic. The lines i don't love are lines that Lana does so I don't mind them (the sweet like dessert, more cheesy ish kinda rhymes at times)

You deserve top 5 at the very least imo

The acclaim, I'm emotional