The space in the back of my mind
I meet you there to reminisce from time to time
You were the light, the blue in my skies
I saw the shades of myself in your eyes
Quote:
When I'm ready to fall
You're the one always holding me up
With love
Actually, scratch that, I think I know what I'll be writing next week (style and atmosphere-wise) I just hope I'm not eliminated this week since that seems like a possibility. I hope not since so many people have quit already.
Currently listening to Evanescence since the best songs I've written in the past were inspired by them.
Jackson can you write me a ****ing review please, you're a judge, it's your job
The whole thing was just repulsive to read. It wasn't even humorous because it started on "my booty stink like ****" and just got worse. Even most of the metaphors were weak (tongue in my hole/just like the book Holes). Any sense of lyricism here was based solely off shock factor, and while that's not something I like in the first place it wasn't even pulled off as well as Cupcakke. I told you this was a bad idea and you knew it was a risk, so for me the risk just didn't pay off.
Started a Miranda Lambert discography rate if any of you want to do it. I know some of you like Country and some of you want to try and get into it, and she's got a pretty good discog so yeah, come and join
The whole thing was just repulsive to read. It wasn't even humorous because it started on "my booty stink like ****" and just got worse. Even most of the metaphors were weak (tongue in my hole/just like the book Holes). Any sense of lyricism here was based solely off shock factor, and while that's not something I like in the first place it wasn't even pulled off as well as Cupcakke. I told you this was a bad idea and you knew it was a risk, so for me the risk just didn't pay off.
Yeah, at least you didn't get that response
-----
Really intrigued to read his song. I'm guessing it was going to be one that you either found funny or just severely disliked.
The whole thing was just repulsive to read. It wasn't even humorous because it started on "my booty stink like ****" and just got worse. Even most of the metaphors were weak (tongue in my hole/just like the book Holes). Any sense of lyricism here was based solely off shock factor, and while that's not something I like in the first place it wasn't even pulled off as well as Cupcakke. I told you this was a bad idea and you knew it was a risk, so for me the risk just didn't pay off.
Started a Miranda Lambert discography rate if any of you want to do it. I know some of you like Country and some of you want to try and get into it, and she's got a pretty good discog so yeah, come and join
Started a Miranda Lambert discography rate if any of you want to do it. I know some of you like Country and some of you want to try and get into it, and she's got a pretty good discog so yeah, come and join
THIS is how you do the challenge! This is an actual poster child for what I was looking for: actually developing off the first song and creating a Part II, not just an extended version of the first song. This was its own body of work, but it worked in tangent with the first song as well. Bless. I think you did a decent job with Lana's style, but that doesn't excuse you for the first four lines of the first verse and "It’s sweet like dessert." I think you could've had a little more clacissim with this like "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree" and I don't think that you should continue writing in this style for the competition but for this round, it worked.
I was definitely confident about my song conceptually so not surprised to hear the positive part there! Also, I kinda know "It's sweet like dessert" was bad but I couldn't not include it because I can hear Lana singing it so much . Imo the straightforward approach was the best choice for the song and I wouldn't really rather do it with a metaphor or "clasissm" (assuming that means more class), but nonetheless I understand the critique.
Side note: I LOVE Florida Kilos, one of UV's best. This is quite possibly the best use of "sequel" so far. I love how straightforward this is yet manages to be lyrical in the romantic image it paints. "Imprisoned with you / Isn’t prison at all," is such a strong way to sum up the concept of the song and it works well with the rest of the chorus. The flow makes this super easy to read and while it's very Lana, it's not overwhelmingly Lana. I enjoyed the sneaking of "you believe me don't you baby." Although it's the same line, it works here because it's a different context. The bridge was a bit of mess and could use some cleaning up. "Baby, if you ever left me, I think I might just die," is also a very bad line but other than that you used your words wisely this round.
Okay I'm really glad you appreciate the title couplet because I feel like it's really simplistically good and that makes me feel reaffirmed
I am surprised though that you didn't like the bridge. I was kind of expecting critiques like "The verses were basic but the middle 8 was where you really shined" so... oop
Also slay @ mxtthewdelrey and Matty defending the "Baby if you ever left me" line
I've only heard like 10 Miranda songs, but I kinda wanna do that rate.
She has a really strong discography aside from a couple of mishaps. No rush to send your rates in, so come and sign up in the thread and take your time listening
I just hope I'm not eliminated this week since that seems like a possibility. I hope not since so many people have quit already.
Let me 
I was definitely confident about my song conceptually so not surprised to hear the positive part there! Also, I kinda know "It's sweet like dessert" was bad but I couldn't not include it because I can hear Lana singing it so much 
. Imo the straightforward approach was the best choice for the song and I wouldn't really rather do it with a metaphor or "clasissm" (assuming that means more class), but nonetheless I understand the critique.