Member Since: 10/17/2010
Posts: 500
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tha Phoenix
SOMEONE JUST POSTED THE BELOW ON THAT GRAPE JUICE. IT'S SO FUNNY AND SO TRUE, I FEEL THE NEED TO REPOST:
She’s Back
April 3, 2011 at 3:30 pm
I remember your first major solo award show performance at the 2003 BET Awards.
Even before you sang a single note, or wiggled a single bootybuttcheek Mo’nique introduced you as one of the greatest female entertainers of your time. In less than 5 minutes you made it very hard to be a female in the entertainment industry. Lives were lost. Ponytails were snatched. Careers were ruined. Ashanti went from artist of the year at BET to employee of the month at Dunkin’ Donuts.
From 2003-2007, on award shows stages around the world you served hot Cajun Catfish with a side of cole slaw. And all the children wanted a piece.
However, since that time something has changed with your award show performances.
It’s not that you’ve become sloppy like certain performers*Britney Spears*. Overall you’ve become a better version of yourself. You’ve become a more restrained singer and a much more graceful dancer, so the quality of your performances definitely hasn’t decreased. The problem in regards to your award show performances is not that you’ve become a lazier performer but a better businesswoman. You decided to save your best ideas and performances for your tours rather than give them away for free at award shows.
I guess your thinking was if people wanted to see you at your best they would have to buy a concert ticket, or at least buy the DVD.
The problem with that is that even with your recession seats, for some of your fans it may not be financially or logistically possible to see you live in concert. And although concert DVDs are supposed to capture the best of you on tour I’m sure a lot of other fans would agree that vocally and lacefrontally, the Atlanta show was not the best show on the Destiny Fulfilled tour, the Los Angeles show was damn sure not the best show on the Beyonce Experience tour, and your voice sounded tired at the London Show of the I Am…Tour.
So there are people around the world who still need to be reminded of who you are and what kind of damage and destruction you are capable of.
Now, more than ever, it is important that you deliver jaw-dropping performances this era. There are some people online who are going around using words they don’t know the meaning of. Words like:
“slay”
“epic”
“icon”
“diva”
“queen”
“legend”
“singer”
“live vocals”
“female”
Britney Stans think someone “slays” a performance just by showing up and not passing out.
Ciara think backbends and splits make an “epic” performance.
There are people who have become music “icons” just by being photographed, turning the sidewalk into a catwalk, wailing like a goat, and hanging out with your people’s husbands.
That’s why this era I need you to eat performances like a Popeye’s 3 piece.
I need you do lay down the type of performances that you did back when you had something to prove.
I want chicks to buy super glue to protect their hairpieces from the wig-snatching that you will bring.
I want even your the your biggest, most bald-headed, most menopausal blackvoices.com hater to be like “Did you see what the **** Beyonce did last night?
I need you to go into the award shows this year with a different attitude. This is not the year to be humble. As Erykah Badu said “Being humble is so 2007″. I need you to be a diva this year. I am tired of seeing you smiling and giggling every time the camera is on you. Ain’t nothing in the world that damn funny. At the VMA’s I want you to be the messy bitch Tina raised you to be. I want you to throw the type of shade that only a drunken queen or an iconic diva can throw. Take it back to the Destiny’s Child days when you could shut a chick down with just one look. Roll your eyes. Fold your arms. Cross your legs. BooLady Gaga off the stage if the spirit moves you. I want you just get really hood with it. Spit sunflower seeds at the stage when Keri Hilson is on stage. Get a pillow and pretend to be sleep when Britney gets on stage (it won’t be that hard). DO NOT tip Ciara when she gives you the keys to your car at the valet parking booth. Be the mean diva that people think you are. They already hate you, give them a good reason.
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I really enjoyed reading it and I think It IS TRUE! It's high time she became the DIVA she is singing about, not only ON STAGE, but everywhere! After all, we didn't give her the title QUEEN by a chance 
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Aww Bey At the bahammas with Jay
))
