I feel so stupid for a lot of things. But one is how I believed so many things, as probably many of us did. We come into the world and the first thing we're introduced to is the things that attract to us the most. For a lot of us, it was things like fairy tales, animated love stories with the "happy ending" stuff, all of the unrealistic things. Then, since we don't know any better, and we watch more things like that, we start to think it's the real life. But through my short, but disastrous, 16 year-3 month-13 day life.. it's obvious that it is false. I feel so upset in the fact that I believed so many things, and they never came true. Actually, all that I know of those dreams are the pain of knowing they'll never be. The fact on how we want it so bad to the point that we'd give up so many things to get it, but it never comes.
I was basically born into two lives- and I've never decided which one to choose, so I kept both. One is the real life, and the other one is the carefree life. The carefree life was so much fun, and then real life started butting in and never wanting to leave. Now I'm stuck here, with a heart so broken that the cracks are microscopic. I'm 16 and with all the pain I've gone through in my life, and with the past year, the pain that has just arrived.. I'm realizing now how tough life is. And I believe that the fact that I was technically born into two lives, makes me want to not choose one and leave the other.. but leave both. The only thing is that so many things are pulling me away from doing so, that I just can't. But when day-by-day I get ridiculed, humiliated, and destroyed emotionally, the visions and thoughts of doing exactly that constantly reappear. To the point where I just want it to happen, and a third life starts to form- where I'm slowly becoming a person who has nothing to say but negativity and listens to emotional rock music and breakup ballads and cutting themself in the corner. I don't want to be that person. But what I've lived in these 16 years is something that is too broken to be fixed.
Everything is.
I swear people get bolder and bolder. 
I got confused too when I came to the thread and saw those pictures. I had to go back to the top of the page to make sure I was in Random Thoughts.
