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Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 9
ATRL Moderator
Member Since: 10/17/2011
Posts: 20,487
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Welp, the first judge who doesn't think I fit my theme, pray for me
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Member Since: 2/7/2014
Posts: 3,371
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Quote:
Very nicely written. The piece reads well. My main problem is with your choice of type, however.
I really do appreciate the consistent fairytale motifs. I can tell you worked to make your concept apparent, but I feel the tone of the piece is off. When I think “Fairy”, I think wide-eyed and innocent, and what you’ve given us is a flirty, sexually-charged song. It’s a stretch for me to really buy into, and I would rather have gotten a piece where both motif and tone matched for this round. Whether that means that you changed the flirtatious tone of the piece into something befitting of the Fairy-type, or if you changed the motifs to fit the tone and communicate a different typing, I don’t care. I just want consistency overall, not solely in diction, or meter, or voice. Keep that in mind in the coming weeks.
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Thank you! I definitely get what you're saying... I think we hear so many cynical songs that it's almost like I have to make an actual shift in mindset to get to an optimistic place despite me actually being an optimistic and happy person. That's what I want to get towards so this is actually a really helpful comment and almost outlines what I was already thinking in a way?
So... yeah thanks 8th 
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 7,250
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Legendaries:
Achilles - Mewtwo
Citrus - Diancie
Huga - Celebi
Navy - Articuno
UFO - Giratina
Witch - Meloetta
Regular:
Country - Dedenne
feels - Roserade
jaxswim - Floette
lovesong - Mr Mime
Matty - Vivillon
mxtthew - Haunter
Nait - Pinsir
Vision - Golduck
Vulnicura - Ninjask
Not sure 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Quote:
Matty –
Here’s a lesson that everyone can take from: 99% of the time, atmosphere will always trump concept. I define atmosphere as being
A) Tone: how the author/narrator describes events in the piece
B) Mood: how the audience perceives the piece
I could care less about what emotions the concept might try to invoke: it’s truly the atmosphere that shapes your audience’s feelings. I feel like this is a Flying type song in nothing more than name. Look at the mood and tone of your piece: full of regret, resentment, sadness. The Flying type, and flight in general, is characterized by freedom and lightness. Honestly, I’m visualizing a lead weight after reading this, rather than a feather. You’ve mismatched your song to the wrong theme, is what I’m saying. It’s a competently written song, but it’s not fitting your brief. I want you to take the lesson above about how important atmosphere is to the next week: this was a misfire.
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So, basically you didn't like my song because it didn't fit your concept of flying? The challenge was to write a song based on the type given. The keywords given was wind, bird, and wings. Which I did successfully whether you liked my portrayal of that or not.
I'm honestly a bit disappointed that I'm losing points based on your perception on what a "flying" song is. Besides, in the lover's perspective where he is being successful he feels free and happy.
If anything, I took a UNIQUE approach to the overrated, overdone theme of flying being about freedom.
I completely disagree with your review and I'm quite annoyed since I accuratey followed the challenge but I'm being penalized for not doing the typical type of flying song. You're basicaly saying I didn't fit the theme because it wasn't empowering. Which is inaccurate and a personal preference that should not affect your outlook on the song as I followed the challenge's requirements whether or not you liked it.
But, I will work on atmosphere more next challenge, I will take that into more careful consideration.
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Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 18,803
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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Each of the pokemon's types correspond to the type we signed up for
Maybe it has something to do with that?
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Alphabetical order seems unlikely, as does reverse alphabetical order. I doubt that 8th used the same tier system as Temporal, so I'm going with no for that too. The only thing I can possibly think is BST, but 8th said no ties, and Diancie and Celebi have the same BST...  Diancie can mega evolve, but so can Mewtwo, and I think 8th would've said "Mega-Diancie" if that's what he meant... I also doubt it's Pokedex number or reverse Pokedex number, and something as convoluted as giving a numerical value to each letter in the Pokemon's name to determine placement is also unlikely, as it'd be very unlikely 8th would find Pokemon of fitting types in that manner.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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Also I had an idea for an Electric type song today, mess
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 12,615
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
Alphabetical order seems unlikely, as does reverse alphabetical order. I doubt that 8th used the same tier system as Temporal, so I'm going with no for that too. The only thing I can possibly think is BST, but 8th said no ties, and Diancie and Celebi have the same BST... Diancie can mega evolve, but so can Mewtwo, and I think 8th would've said "Mega-Diancie" if that's what he meant... I also doubt it's Pokedex number or reverse Pokedex number, and something as convoluted as giving a numerical value to each letter in the Pokemon's name to determine placement is also unlikely, as it'd be very unlikely 8th would find Pokemon of fitting types in that manner.
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The method I used to order you guys came before I picked the Pokemon, it that's any help. They're nowhere close to each other when listed that way
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Member Since: 2/7/2014
Posts: 3,371
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Quote:
Originally posted by 8thPrince
The method I used to order you guys came before I picked the Pokemon, it that's any help. They're nowhere close to each other when listed that way
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Now i'm more confused, this makes it sound like you ordered us then assigned random pokemon
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Quote:
Originally posted by lovesong
Also I had an idea for an Electric type song today, mess
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nanananana E-E-E-Electric shock!
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So he ranked us before choosing Pokemon...they were more of an afterthought? Hmm... 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
nanananana E-E-E-Electric shock!
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So he ranked us before choosing Pokemon...they were more of an afterthought? Hmm... |
LEGENDARY single, poor all of us
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 18,319
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Uber
UFO - Giratina
Achilles - Mewtwo
OU
Huga - Celebi
Am I on the right track?
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 26,488
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:ludicolo:
make it happen @vision
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Member Since: 9/16/2011
Posts: 50,981
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8th coming through with the most complimentary review of my piece. 
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 1,131
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So a couple of hours ago I was at a coffee shop drinking, well, a coffee. And this random guy came to me and asked if he could made a phone call with my phone, so I said yes, then he started calling a lot of people from another state/city, and his conversation was really strange. The thing is he tried to kidnap me, but I took my phone and ran as fast as I could. I'm really frightened cause his friends have my phone number now. I blocked them all but still, I can't be calm. It was horrible.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 1,131
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I must say, I love Mexico, I love my country. And I hate the way it is portrayed by the media. But I have to admit it, it is very dangerous to live in here, the security in out country is very poor! I was very lucky, but not everyone runs with the same luck as me. It really saddens and worries me
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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Quote:
Originally posted by ughgabriel
So a couple of hours ago I was at a coffee shop drinking, well, a coffee. And this random guy came to me and asked if he could made a phone call with my phone, so I said yes, then he started calling a lot of people from another state/city, and his conversation was really strange. The thing is he tried to kidnap me, but I took my phone and ran as fast as I could. I'm really frightened cause his friends have my phone number now. I blocked them all but still, I can't be calm. It was horrible.
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OMG  I'm glad you're safe
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Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 18,803
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Quote:
Originally posted by ughgabriel
So a couple of hours ago I was at a coffee shop drinking, well, a coffee. And this random guy came to me and asked if he could made a phone call with my phone, so I said yes, then he started calling a lot of people from another state/city, and his conversation was really strange. The thing is he tried to kidnap me, but I took my phone and ran as fast as I could. I'm really frightened cause his friends have my phone number now. I blocked them all but still, I can't be calm. It was horrible.
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OMG  That's awful. I'm glad you're safe now though 
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 6,127
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thanks 8th! I knew I'd get dragged for the forced rhyme but felt like my bug concept wasn't prevalent enough! I'm glad you like the concept tho 
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